CounselingChristians

Q: God says He is always with us right? My husband of 14 years was arrested last month for dv abuse against me, he spent some time in jail, more in the psyche ward. He was never the spiritual leader he promised to be. In fact, just in the past few days, after many many sermons about testing and self-examination, he has come to the realization that *he is not a Christian*. I have no idea if he will ever give his life to to Christ.  There's several mental illnesses involved and he went off meds a few years back and has been iffy at best with his meds and therapy for these since. He has been abusive verbally, mentally, emotionally for years and there's been porn involved, of a particular grostedque nature and our marriage has never been consummated. I thought we were passed that years ago, but my discovering his backslide is what triggered the incident. He has rages several times a weeks, most days really, often more than one a day. There's more issues but that's enough t...

Q: Why is it in convos when believing women say "my husband treats me terrible… and this is how…” but those providing responses or counsel go right to “are you a good wife…?”  I say this because I was raised in a “godly, Christian home” and guess what?! My dad just straight was a narcissist… no matter how my mom acted.  God didn’t say worship yalls man… God didn’t say slave to yalls man… men should be held to a higher standard. Yall are giving them the bare minimum and that’s not okay. A: Voddie rightfully notes that when believers go their own way (marry unequally yoked in rebellion to God's command), they reap what they sow. "You married him. You got exactly what you wanted".  Equally-yoked married couples focus on pursuing holiness, being a godly spouse. The husband loves the wife as Christ loves the Church, and the wife loves her husband. She is a blessing to him, a treasure, and he is grateful to God, and treats her as such.  In unequally yoked marriages, the be...

Q: I feel like leaving my marriage. Tired of constant arguing of how Christian religion is wrong, and how he has his mind in politics and that "I just can’t see other religions" possibilities, and so on and so on. He wrongly uses Scripture to make a point towards me, but doesn't believe. Though he got baptized before we got married (6 years ago), just to be like this to me. When I remember back when we were dating he did say he was agnostic. But then he started going to church, buying suits for it, attending Bible study etc up to the baptism. And anger marriage just seeing him going more and more to the opposite direction. I tense up when I hear him say mean things about God, Jesus and me. Feel 50/50 with my marriage.  Hear of others husbands changing and going with Christ. Mine husband (well bf at the time) did that but now he’s like this. Is it just a season of his life and God can still work through him? It’s almost like we staring to resent each other…I know we shoul...

Q: I need advice… I have been a Christian since young, but I just now started finding my own way in faith rather than what my parents taught me. I am wanting to go to church but my husband doesn’t really like going to church. He believes in God but doesn’t feel a connection to him at church. How do I get him to come with me without forcing him or do I just go and be that example for him… I just want to grow and bring him with me but I also know I won’t change him God will… but I don’t want to walk alone… A: You wont be able to get an unbeliever to church. God would need to move him to. My recommendation is share the Gospel. Only God can save, and when he does, the person is transformed into a new creation with new and right desires. He will want to go to church and Worship God & Fellowship with believers.  While it is true based on parable of the soils some will profess and fall away, those genuinely converted will pursue a life of holiness and grow through the sanctification p...

Q: Will one go to hell if they marry a non believer? A: Are you asking if God will approve of and be ok with you living in rebellious sin towards God's command (for believers to only unite with other believers)?  I cant fathom why any true Christian would even consider that thought let alone pursue that path to destruction. It's actually a premeditated plotting of a sin crime against God.  Your life will be ruined if you pursue that, and God won't hear your prayers since you are living in willful sin. Once married to him your stuck in perpetual sin. Your life and marriage wont be blessed. You wint Go to Hell but you will be living in hell on earth for 80 years. Why would anyone in their right mind do that?  There is no blessing in such a sinful union.  Heres helpful info for you to go through to further guide you avoid going down that wrong path. On Unequally yoked matters (warning for those dating unequally yoked)  Dating guidance and resources  (Helps fo...

Q: I’m currently in a somewhat unyoked marriage. Before we wed, neither of us had strong beliefs. He grew up Buddhist, I grew up going to a Christian church on Easter and maybe once every other year. I was forced to go to youth group for awhile, since there was a church behind our house my mom took it as a free babysitter for an hour a week. I got saved late last year so am a new believer. And my husband is just started to come around. He’ not turned to Christ yet, so he still has times of mockery.  To my question- admittedly so, I’m only about 1/2, close to 3/4 done reading the Bible so I have not 100% grasped yet what "a biblical wife" looks like other than being nurturing, peaceful, loving, etc. for the majority of our marriage whether I worked I not I did 95% of the housework, childcare, cooking, etc. my husband has always worked hard labor with a 2 hour one way commute so I never ever complained or asked for help. He also pays for 95% of our bills and he does all of our ...

Q: I'm unsure what to say to my husband. For a few years now he has always told me how he wants to try micro dosing with mushrooms. His reasoning is "I want to see God". I tell him how mushrooms and other forms of getting high just alter the brain and are huge risks to your mental health. Is there a way to safely micro dose? Is he opening up a can of worms to demonic things? For extra context he is VERY non religious. He very much does not agree with the Christian faith, while I myself am strong in the Faith A: We see God in Christ and Scripture.  That's where he needs to go. We are to come to God by the way he told us to. Not our way & alt attempts. If hes not seeking the true God, he will in idolatry go where he wants to. That's what the unsaved do. Even though Satan blinds the unsaved, and has them in chains to their sin nature, the Gospel truth can set him free, (unless he's a hellbound child of Satan). Drug usage is what pagans did in attempts to g...

Q: I could use some prayers today. I have been extremely unhappy in my marriage for going on a decade. There are times when I would have had justifiable reasons to divorce and didn’t, now I technically don’t and just feel stuck. I have prayed and prayed.  My husband is extremely unenjoyable. He is a TERRIBLE person to everyone in his life, he is rude and snarky, chronically miserable and disrespectful, and I don’t know a single person who can handle him in more than small doses because he drains the energy from everyone he encounters. He is combative, entitled, and just all around brings misery. I have had people who are very calm and passive tell me their first time feeling anxiety stemmed from being around him. He makes life heavy and hard and he destroys my nervous system. And he has been told by too many people, family members, friends, therapists, pastors, and literally says every one except him is wrong. It’s exhausting. A: Prayer has to accompany action.  After someone ...

Q:  I’ve been praying as this particular issue I’ve been dealing with for a long time but just wanted to hear from other ladies their insight on what they would do in the situation because if I speak out, I’m shut down and called a nag. My husband likes to job hop. Recently he quit a job and told me he had a job offer for another job lined up but it wasn’t true. He quit because he wasn’t happy with the job. Just a bit of back story, I’ve been paying majority of the bills for years as he doesn’t sustain a job. It got so bad that my previous apartment we lived in, i broke the lease and moved back in with my parents and kids because of his lack of contribution. I originally had left because he was cheating but anyways, I thought he was a changed man and by no means is anyone perfect but we are in our own place again at the second home and he quit few weeks back and it’s a repetitive cycle. This time he says he only wants a work from home job, but that can take quite some time to find,...

Q: Please pray for my marriage. I'm growing weary. When he's happy: sweet, super loving, caring, supportive, overly complimentary, spoils me, calls me the best mom/wide, thanks me for everything i do at home, basically the ideal husband. When he's mad: rude, mean, looks at me like he hates me, calls me names, points out all my issues/flaws, uses things I have shared with him against me including traumas, threatens to leave/divorce, yells at me and doesn't care who hears or if the kids are sleeping, says he doesn't care, says being a mom is not hard work and it's not his fault I don't know how to relax or I don't rest as a sahm. He says I should stick through it because i have 3 kids now and my life will go down hill and no one will want me if i divorce him, i wont find anyone like him. He gaslights me, calls me crazy, does things that bother me to upset me since he's mad, won't sleep in the bed with me, won't listen, won't understand. And...

Q: I have felt an urge for the past year to start my journey to become closer to God… it’s a pull that brings me to tears when I think about it. A lot of it I feel has to do with my oldest asking questions and a lot I don’t know the answer to (she’s 6). But I do also feel like he has a purpose for me beyond answering questions for my daughter and I feel like it’s to help my husband battle his struggles with sex addiction and has hurt me so much through our years together. We separated for a little while after boundaries were crossed… and after us doing therapy separately & after asking God to show me what I should do… or more guide me, I feel like my purpose is to lead my husband to God… or just help him find his way. We are not married through church but we want to change that, we are just “married” common law. We both grew up catholic and did attend church when we were younger but didn’t grow up extremely religious. I want to change that by starting with reading the Bible, I jus...