CounselingChristians

Q: Will one go to hell if they marry a non believer? A: Are you asking if God will approve of and be ok with you living in rebellious sin towards God's command (for believers to only unite with other believers)?  I cant fathom why any true Christian would even consider that thought let alone pursue that path to destruction. It's actually a premeditated plotting of a sin crime against God.  Your life will be ruined if you pursue that, and God won't hear your prayers since you are living in willful sin. Once married to him your stuck in perpetual sin. Your life and marriage wont be blessed. You wint Go to Hell but you will be living in hell on earth for 80 years. Why would anyone in their right mind do that?  There is no blessing in such a sinful union.  Heres helpful info for you to go through to further guide you avoid going down that wrong path. On Unequally yoked matters (warning for those dating unequally yoked)  Dating guidance and resources  (Helps fo...

Q: My current boyfriend & I have been dating for 7 months now, but we’re having a really big issue at the moment. I’m just in need of some godly advice. For reference, I’m a 20-year-old female, and my boyfriend is 27. And we are both strong christians. We went out on our first date and afterward came back to my house to talk and get to know each other better. From the beginning, I knew I was dating to marry, and I was very open with him about my past. [I told him about all my previous relationships — including my longest one, which was a homosexual relationship — and a few situationships I had in college with guys.]. I felt extremely ashamed of my past, but I wanted him to know everything up front so he could decide if he wanted to move forward with me. That same night, I asked him about a rumor I had heard a while ago regarding a relationship he supposedly had with another girl. He denied it, saying they were nothing more than coworkers and that she was just telling people they we...

Q: I’ve noticed online, that a lot of women encouraging women to stay in abusive or toxic relationships . Encouraging to pray for their spouse to change. I’m still learning in my walk with God. But when I look at what God’s word says about love - I always believe God would want the best for his daughters . Why should we settle and wait for someone to change ? I also do believe in God’s grace and showing grace toward others. I’ve been confused because I’m currently in a situation where I’m engaged but I experienced a few situations of physical and verbal abuse, and decided I want to end the relationship. But then I’ve being told by some people to pray for him for him to change or that maybe I’m meant to save him. But then I think why would God want me to put up with anger and aggression. I had expressed multiple times how it was making me feel but he never changed and once I finally decided to end things for good, he says he will change and do better. I’m already emotionally detached an...

Q: I broke up with my boyfriend tonight. I am so confused. I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months. He is a Godly man, loves me so well, and respects my boundaries 100%. Since we started dating, he has cut out vaping and drinking, and we have abstained from anything sexual beyond a quick kiss. We go to church together every week and teach Sunday school together. I’m confused because I have extreme anxiety that he isn’t the one. Like it’s debilitating to where I wake up and go to sleep obsessing over it. I don’t miss him when we are apart, but I don’t know if it is due to our relationship or due to my insanely busy schedule where I am constantly running on empty and just want to be home.  He did pray that God remove me from his life if I wasn’t the one, and I have prayed that too. Is this a sign that we just aren’t meant for each other? I am so so sad that we broke up and so is he. It’s like we don’t want it to end but feel like it could be the right choice. But we are both so un...

Q: I’ve been interested in a guy for 6 months, and I am uncertain about him. We dated a but already. Part of me likes him, part of me says “you can do better”. Although he appears truly invested, I’ve been praying to God to give me clarity if this relationship is something to pursue....or if I am making the wrong choice.  I have have a really hard time making decisions in various areas in my life and I need help to decide on what partner is the best fit for God’s plans for my life. Is there more things I should do to have this clarity? I don’t want waste my time, or his time, even if he appears as a great guy. A: Talk to your parents, 3 trusted believers, meet his pastor and youth leader or men's group leader, and get the pastors counsel after they all meet to vett him, and updste you on him.  [if needed meet his friends, siblings too], then talk to his parents to learn more about him ....your goal is to probe to find out if he is really living a holy life. If he is immature, ...

Q: Have you been in a similar situation & what did you do? I have been in contact with group leaders about this. Long story short another single in my lifegroup asked me out in which I set a wall up of "I want to get to know you as friends first". Thank goodness because I found out he has gotten two girl’s pregnant within a year & has a history of abusing women. I’ve sent a message that has been extremely clear "I’m not interested and if he sends one more message his number will be blocked". 😮😬 He’s involved in everything I’m apart of at church. Wednesday nights, lifegroup, services. I’m genuinely scared to go back. I question now my heart and if it was in the wrong place when I started getting involved if something like this can deter me from going back to a place I came to really grow with the Lord & connect well with others. 😞 Edit: The lifegroup leaders had absolutely no idea. The baby is due in June so I’m going to guess not a whole lot has chang...

Resources and FAQ are further below. * Before going through the below, if you have BPD or Bipolar , you need to conquer that before you should get into any relationship. Or a abusive/sexual trauma in your past that hasnt been dealt with, you need to take care of it through biblical counseling before you get into any relationship because both issues will harm & destroy any relationship you start. Don't date nor marry until you've completed biblical counseling and are free of this and your past 🙏. If you are already dating someone, I highly recommend you start seeing a prof biblical counselor right away, to conquer these issues quickly, so you can live free and a normal life, that can end up in a good and steady marriage with Christ at the center.  ============================== Resources here are for believers, and offers guidance for those in unequally yoked relationships.  DATING, BOUNDARIES & RESOURCES ====Dating Boundaries and Resources==== Today the way people i...

Q: It’s bad to have sex before marriage even if you were already married but then got divorced and for example your in your mid 30s would that still be a sin? A: Yes. A few things to note to help you going forward.  While that whole thing sounds complicated, but here’s how you should think about it:  1. It is a sin to have sex with anyone you aren’t married to. Take the story of the Woman at the Well in John 4. She had married and divorced 5 husbands and was now sleeping with a man she wasn’t married with, and Jesus pointed that out as a sin she was living in. Does it mean she couldn’t be forgiven? No but her life needed to change so her life choices would fall into line with what God commands & expects; He designed us to be living in righteousness, and believers are to do so.  But also 2. we need to recognize the woman at the well wasnt a believer until after Jesus talked w her.  So holy living *after* salvation is important. If you were "saved" before that...

Q: I am 17 and in a relationship with a guy (20). But I am disappointed in myself.  I allowed a friend to kiss me a few hours ago (yes it was my first kiss). It was not consensual in the beginning, but I gave in eventually. Guilt has been eating me up all day and I have no idea what steps to take. I acknowledge that I should have nothing to do with relationships at this stage but I got in for experience sake and I actually do love my boyfriend.  What happened was a mistake and I've barely been able to say a word of prayer because... God's probably not happy with me rn. Please pray for me and give advice.  A: Well assuming it is a male friend, that one is a wolf. He is pretending to be a friend and will stick around prowling fir 15 years if he thinks theres a remote chance he can get you into bed. "Men" cannot be friends with women. They have ulterior motives that are not neutral and not pure.  It sounds like you were a victim, but also like you allowed it when after ...