CounselingChristians

Q: Me and husband decided to separate but the whole time apart he wanted to come back... but I were so hurt by what caused the separation, that I denied him all access to me. 6 months later I to missed him, and want him to come back.  Then he asks to come back again, but I didn't made it clear that I want him to come back. Around that time 💔 he told me that it’s a possibility that he has a baby on the way. Meaning he broke the marriage covenant, committed adultery, didn't even use protection, and now there's probably a child from that sexual sin.  How would you feel or what would you do? A: Sinners sin. That's not a usually biblical accepted reason to kick them out and seperate. Plenty of marriages are unequally yoked. And, you didnt say why you seperated, which plays a key in giving counsel.  We arent to live our lives focused on uncontrolled emotions, but be soberminded, and to have our minds and hearts saturated by the Word, so we can be led on the Holy path. To get...

Q: I need some advice. I’ve prayed over it and I’ve tried to be patient with it. I’ve just got engaged to my amazing, wonderful fiance. We are both Christian’s and read the word on a daily.  Right now I struggle the most with resentment or anger. Not towards him, but one of his family. My future brother in law had an affair with his fiance's best friend. Both have kids. I’m friends with the fiance. He started to bring his mistress around and my future in-laws are pushing me to be close with her. I tried, but can’t find myself to do that. I can’t look at either of them without disgust or anger. I tend to avoid them when they’re in the room. My fiance seems to struggle with it too, especially since the kids are being affected by it. He prefers to keep his distance right now too. I’ve watched my cousins struggle when their parents got involved with affairs so it feels a bit more personal. I’ve prayed to God to give me patience so I can be more kind. I’ve tried but I can’t help but not...

Q: Please help. I am sick. Absolutely sick. My husband and I got married about a month ago. I was so certain that this was what God wanted for us.  Since then I have rededicated my life to Christ. We joined a church. My son even got saved.  ...but last night, I was enlightened that as a woman of divorce, God commanded me to remain single or go back to my ex husband. And yes, as ashamed as I am, I was living as an adulterer. But, I have begged forgiveness from God, literally on my knees in tears. I am distraught.  I love my husband and we have been stead fast in making God a strong part of our marriage. We pray nightly together. We do daily devotionals. Church every Sunday. I want to go to Heaven more than anything in the world. Idk what we are supposed to do. My husband and I have a blended family that we love dearly. I’m so scared. Please help. A: So.... if you are saved, & now have that understanding, though it was adultery, it was dealt with in Christ on the cross ...

Q: Can you please pray for me? I took a step of faith to leave an abusive marriage. It’s caused me mental health issues.  He has cheated twice. He is verbally/mentally abusive. It actually almost cost me my life and I wouldn’t be here with my kids if it wasn’t for God pulling me through that. God didn’t tell me to divorce but feel its right for me to separate. Also, I have been supporting our family financially 9 yrs. He has not contributed. I will not renew my lease here so that he won’t help out. The Bible is also clear on boundaries isnt it? The gaslighting, manipulation was too much. I will leave till next month and the days feel long.  He continues to try to pick a fight. He says I’m a promiscuous woman and sleep with other people when this entire marriage I have never cheated on this man and it’s frustrating. He also tells me "I am not covered by God’s protection" since im leaving him. We have had many counselors within church and outside of church. I believe God will ...

Q: Can you please pray for me? I took a step of faith to leave an abusive marriage. It’s caused me mental health issues.  He has cheated twice. He is verbally/mentally abusive. It actually almost cost me my life and I wouldn’t be here with my kids if it wasn’t for God pulling me through that. God didn’t tell me to divorce but feel its right for me to separate. Also, I have been supporting our family financially 9 yrs. He has not contributed. I will not renew my lease here so that he won’t help out. The Bible is also clear on boundaries isnt it? The gaslighting, manipulation was too much. I will leave till next month and the days feel long.  He continues to try to pick a fight. He says I’m a promiscuous woman and sleep with other people when this entire marriage I have never cheated on this man and it’s frustrating. He also tells me "I am not covered by God’s protection" since im leaving him. We have had many counselors within church and outside of church. I believe God will ...

Q:  I’ve been praying as this particular issue I’ve been dealing with for a long time but just wanted to hear from other ladies their insight on what they would do in the situation because if I speak out, I’m shut down and called a nag. My husband likes to job hop. Recently he quit a job and told me he had a job offer for another job lined up but it wasn’t true. He quit because he wasn’t happy with the job. Just a bit of back story, I’ve been paying majority of the bills for years as he doesn’t sustain a job. It got so bad that my previous apartment we lived in, i broke the lease and moved back in with my parents and kids because of his lack of contribution. I originally had left because he was cheating but anyways, I thought he was a changed man and by no means is anyone perfect but we are in our own place again at the second home and he quit few weeks back and it’s a repetitive cycle. This time he says he only wants a work from home job, but that can take quite some time to find,...

Want divorce. Professing husband w continually affairs asks forgiveness but never changes. Q: I am feeling weary and so disheartened. My husband has repeatedly been unfaithful, despite his faith and repeated requests for forgiveness. I have forgiven him multiple times, but I am at my limit. Would a divorce be acceptable in God's eyes? A: No divorce isn't permitted. We are to continually firgive and be Christlike, especially to a spouse who processes Christ.  He needs the discipleship, counseling and call to repentance and killing that sin which the church elders and godly men need to actively be in his life helping him achieve, lest hes found as a false concert and needs true salvation.  Has any church discipline been instituted yet? Has he had pastor counsel? Has he gone also to a biblical counselor?  Are the men from the mens group rallied around him to hold him accountable, call him to repentance, and guide him in holy living as a husband and professing believer? Thes...

Q:I am afraid to say this but how do I stop my heart from feeling like I don’t want to love my husband for what he did . When I did the “same “ thing .  My husband was seeing prostitutes for the last 4 years . And held it from me till the beginning of March this year.  And I revealed my secret to him that I was unfaithful to him . By sexting other men over the phone and sharing explicit pictures of me and masturbating .  I held the secret from him until about a year ago and told him.  We both were being unfaithful to each other around the same time . We were not in a good place at all . We were both drinking together at night and had two little ones at the time. And he slept with the first prostitute aroundd this time i was sexting other men .  We were both lustful due to the fact that we both indulged in pornography way before we met each other . I was introduced at 9 and him probably in his teen years but the unfaithfulness didn’t come from this for me ....

Q: We got married in a year ago, been together for 3 years, but after marriage and I got baptized this year... we had a lot of trials and temptations came. We would argue a lot and fight a lot we got through it but he has always had this desire to look at girls lustfully. I got so over it that I cheated on him just for him to leave me. We have hit each other too and honestly it is so draining; I get anxiety attacks and I feel I mostly get them from being around him. Through all of that he says he’s been a Christian his entire life. I am new & I don’t know much about Christianity, but I feel I shouldn’t have married him. We fight a lot we argue over small stuff last time we argued he just left me crying, and did nothing until I got a panic attacked and then he reacted as if I was going crazy. I’m so tired of it yesterday my mother told us she’s over it and says we should represent God and respect each other [she isn’t Christian and doesn’t like Going to church but it really says a ...

Q: Husband revealed he sees prostitutes This is not a easy thing to talk about, but I need godly advice . I found out that my husband was paying prostitutes after work for over three years. Never showed any signs of this. He told me he had sex with over 20 Prostitutes. Also that he had an issue with pornography and lust .  I am as calm as can be, but I dont know what . Probably and more than likely God keeping and holding me together. We have three babies ages 8, 6, and 1 years old .  When we talked I brought up that i didn’t feel that things were right and he told me he never said anything due to shame . He asked me for forgiveness and a second chance . I called my pastor and i was told by my pastor that forgiveness is the will of God and I don’t deny that . But he also said that I must be reconciled with him . Because if there’s no reconciliation there’s no forgiveness . And if I don’t forgive / reconcile I would’nt be obeying the word of God .  He also said that bec...

Re: trust & faith husband isn't committing any form of sexual sin with female partner in firefighter/police/military/similar or any job Q:  Need godly advice. I have trust issues, so I’m not sure if that is getting in the way of how I’m thinking right now. My husband is a firefighter. Currently, he has a female partner who is single and has messed up and knowingly had an affair with someone. I understand that is her past and can’t hold that to her now. Anyway, my husband started to tell little lies, but it went on for 7 months before he told me the truth. It wasn’t anything bad, but hiding chewing from me, when I asked what he bought, since he used a card he would lie to my face and stuff like that. He also texted his female partner drunk, nothing sexual. He’s just overly nice to her. Texting her to have a great vacation and birthday, telling her happy birthday he hopes she has the best day. All that said, I just need some Godly advice. I know it’s not cheating, but I kinda fe...

Q: I’m African in Africa... and a currently seperated from my husband (on our way to divorce) and I am dating another man (who is in a similar situation as myself but still lives with his wife in the same house but different rooms). No man has treated me better or has been half as thoughtful as this new man has. Even though his marriage is so bad, divorce is not an option for him right now, because of certain circumstances. I have been praying a lot and I’m starting to think maybe I should go ahead and marry him "as a second wife". This is something we have both talked about. Our culture allows multiple wives. This man will make a fine fatherly example for my son and I deeeply love him and he has gone above and beyond to proof to me that he feels the same way in many different situations. What should we do? What should be considered? How do we know if is it God's will that we marry? A: There are variables here that need addressing to counsel you on this matter.  ...