CounselingChristians

Q: I’m 20, and want to get married now.  I was taken advantage of throughout my childhood so while it may seem as though I haven’t had to wait long for marriage, I have, as I was exposed to sexuality as early as 8, and have been wrestling against lust for 12 long years now. Instead of playing with dolls and growing up as a kid should, I was exposed to sex, pornography, masturbation, toys, etc. (all the while raising my siblings).  Once I surrendered my life to God I realized that I needed to die to my hypersexuality and wait til marriage, but I am fighting every second of the day to not sin against my own body, (though I’ve been free from pornography and masturbation for a little over a year now).  I am currently in a Godly relationship (1 year next month) and the fruit does show for it in our lives: we’re both waiting til marriage, and were before we knew the other person existed, we study our Bibles daily with the aim of learning more in Christ, and we uphold the Bible ...

Q: Why is it in convos when believing women say "my husband treats me terrible… and this is how…” but those providing responses or counsel go right to “are you a good wife…?”  I say this because I was raised in a “godly, Christian home” and guess what?! My dad just straight was a narcissist… no matter how my mom acted.  God didn’t say worship yalls man… God didn’t say slave to yalls man… men should be held to a higher standard. Yall are giving them the bare minimum and that’s not okay. A: Voddie rightfully notes that when believers go their own way (marry unequally yoked in rebellion to God's command), they reap what they sow. "You married him. You got exactly what you wanted".  Equally-yoked married couples focus on pursuing holiness, being a godly spouse. The husband loves the wife as Christ loves the Church, and the wife loves her husband. She is a blessing to him, a treasure, and he is grateful to God, and treats her as such.  In unequally yoked marriages, the be...

Q: Can you please pray for me? I took a step of faith to leave an abusive marriage. It’s caused me mental health issues.  He has cheated twice. He is verbally/mentally abusive. It actually almost cost me my life and I wouldn’t be here with my kids if it wasn’t for God pulling me through that. God didn’t tell me to divorce but feel its right for me to separate. Also, I have been supporting our family financially 9 yrs. He has not contributed. I will not renew my lease here so that he won’t help out. The Bible is also clear on boundaries isnt it? The gaslighting, manipulation was too much. I will leave till next month and the days feel long.  He continues to try to pick a fight. He says I’m a promiscuous woman and sleep with other people when this entire marriage I have never cheated on this man and it’s frustrating. He also tells me "I am not covered by God’s protection" since im leaving him. We have had many counselors within church and outside of church. I believe God will ...

Q: Can you please pray for me? I took a step of faith to leave an abusive marriage. It’s caused me mental health issues.  He has cheated twice. He is verbally/mentally abusive. It actually almost cost me my life and I wouldn’t be here with my kids if it wasn’t for God pulling me through that. God didn’t tell me to divorce but feel its right for me to separate. Also, I have been supporting our family financially 9 yrs. He has not contributed. I will not renew my lease here so that he won’t help out. The Bible is also clear on boundaries isnt it? The gaslighting, manipulation was too much. I will leave till next month and the days feel long.  He continues to try to pick a fight. He says I’m a promiscuous woman and sleep with other people when this entire marriage I have never cheated on this man and it’s frustrating. He also tells me "I am not covered by God’s protection" since im leaving him. We have had many counselors within church and outside of church. I believe God will ...

Q: My husband bought a swing set for the kids, which I had no idea until I saw him and an employee bringing the packages into the backyard.  After they got everything in the backyard and he was opening it up he noticed it had a lot of pieces so I asked him how can I help and then he told me what he needed help with so I set up a picnic blanket outside and put the baby on it to play with some toys (we have a 9 month old, a 4 and 6 year old together and a 13 and 18 year old from his previous relationships).  Around dinner time and with us still building the set ...I ordered the kids pizza for dinner because I wouldn’t have time to make dinner. When the pizza arrived the order was wrong and I was annoyed because it happened the last time I ordered but I set up the kids with their pizza then I went back in the backyard where he and his son who is 13 were and I was telling him about how the pizza order was wrong and he got upset with me and told me he doesn’t want to hear about it...

Many men in Christian homes who are new, weak in the faith or just clueless dont even know this, so unsaved men def don't. They live sinfully selfish lives, oblivious and uncaring. Being married means you are united as one. You have one purpose together as a unit and are a team on mission for Christ, presenting the Gospel to the world by your life lived in Faith, by being of one mind and mission to present and teach the Gospel to your kids and others, and are a team. So when we live out being Christlike, husbands too are to love their wives as Christ loved and loves the Church (his bride). Husbands are to be the humble sacrificial servant to you just as you are to him. Putting each other and the family before one's self. This is a reason Scripture points out that Husbands are to love their wives. Loving as Christ did and does for his bride. The lengths he went to on mission and at the cross, and elas servant to God and fellow man even to doing dirty despised things such as was...

Q: How can I become a truly happy person? I’m so negative and just aggravated 24/7 and literally don’t know why. Sometimes i can’t make my self stop an think about how I’m acting. It’s going to cost me my marriage. I am also pregnant and stopped taking anxiety medication.  A: Many times people rush to point out the physical and mental to help you, but the Spiritual is where most of our battles are, sin is always the stinky culprit in whole or in part. We need to wear the Armour of God, and actively grow in our faith. Women also have to conquer emotional issues as a self control area to master.  Do a spiritual examination. Are you actively purposely growing in the Fruit of the Spirit ?  Are you rightly understanding sin, and growing sensitive to it in all forms? Are you killing sins in your life, and more and more killing your flesh so you can be submissive in love, and not push and die on hills that aren't important? Are you working in areas like conquering di...

Q: My husband has been verbally abusive for several years now. Yelling & swearing at me in front of our kids. It happens every 1-2weeks. Everytime it leaves me feeling hopeless & numb. He told me that he stopped apologizing to me a while ago because it is making me entitled. I have been compeltely guarded emotionally & physically. I told him that I don’t feel safe with him & he told me that I’m the only one that can change that.  He refused to do marriage counseling because he said it’s a way for me to shame & manipulate him. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want the enemy to win this battle in my marriage. I pray for us everyday & try to be brave. I can not take this for much longer. It is teaching my children that it’s okay to speak to someone this way & to be treated this way.  Please pray for my marriage. I feel stuck & numb. He is not a believer & tells me I am in a cult. A: Unsaved people act as their nature. They're trapped i...

Q: My husband and I got married last year . I also became a Christian last year . He was already a Christian . We have a good relationship for the most part .  We have one main issue that is a struggle of sorts💔. I came into our relationship with a dog (who’s been with me for the last 11 years). My husband is not a dog person and my little dog has some anxiety issues and so he has snipped at him a couple times. The dog is missing most of his teeth so even when he snips, he’s not causing any damage. My husband hates my dog. I don’t know how to deal with this. This am he got super upset because the dog vomited on the carpet 🥹. He keeps saying , I need to get rid of the dog . And I know that if something is coming between us then I need to do something. This dog is my life . He’s like my child . Even if I gave him away , I would resent my husband for it . I don’t know what to do. I keep praying to God to help me . I’m so heartbroken about this . A: If he loves you [ & as Christ...

Q: I have a hardcore atheist husband who doesn’t want his children raised in the church. I married him knowing he wasnt a believer, but... I really want out of this marriage. I just don’t see a fruitful future. We dont have kids yet, & cant see having them with him. I am concerned about that and being stuck with him long term.  Can I divorce him?  A: Decisions have consequences. You chose to marry him knowingly in rebellion to God and the command not to be unequally yoked. You cant expect blessings by doing something like that. You couldve ran at the alter, and saved your life. Now, you are in the marriage so you have to stay 🤷🏻‍♂️. You are stuck. Marriage covenants are for life. *This is a 80 year decision and isn't to be be made lightly, no marriage plans should proceed without the green light by your Pastor.  Too many believers do not go get godly counsel from their Pastor, and, do not go through a couples class at church (where the believer would be be clearly ...

Q: My husband and I have been together for over 16 years. He tried to help me and told me to "not believe in" what I believed in.  But I don't understand why he never went over the Bible with me or prayed with me or anything.  I also don't understand why he didn't teach his kids the Bible or raise them on it, especially since "he loves Jesus so much". I just don't understand that. If he would've just sat with them and taught them it might have made me come around. And instilled Christ in them. Most parents who are Christian teach their children and raise them as Christians. So I don't understand why he said he was for me to "interpret" myself and he didn't want "to force" anything on his kids. I don't understand why he didn't do that 😞.  My father definitely made sure to talk to his kids about his beliefs and tried to lead us to belief and understanding. I just don't understand why he never tried to steer ...