CounselingChristians

Q: i need help understanding a hard topic.  Divorce …  i know adultery is one reason.  if one were to get divorce and remarry then it’s a sin…. so every person who’s got a divorce and remarried is going to hell if they weren’t cheated on before?  i know there is only a narrow path to heaven.. is this where Gods grace comes in? i’m just so confused.  i don’t want to stay in a unhealthy marriage if it’s going to kill my soul. but i don’t want to hurt God .   people are to stay in a marriage no matter how horrible?? (not physical abuse or cheating)   if one person is trying to live for God and you or spouse doesn’t have that same drive we just have to deal with it??  A: God uses those situations to conform us to the image of Christ, to be Christlike, and grow in holiness. Its about your sanctification and being a godly witness in the home (which radiates to your extended family & community). Marriage isnt about you. Its about submitt...

Q: Needing advice on how to deal with “backlash” from family and friends about living a biblical marriage. My husband and I are far from perfect, but our basic biblical foundation is that he is the head of the household, and while I have a voice and my voice is heard, my husband gets the last say. My husband would prefer if I didn’t work, but I absolutely have the choice to. I also like to consult my husband before I make decisions or do things to be respectful and because I care about his guiding lead.  My family does not take to this very well. My younger sister and her bf have a very modern, anti-conservative, non-Christian relationship structure and don’t want kids or to be ruled by the “misogyny” of the Bible. She’s made comments that if I don’t have dinner ready by the time my husband gets home he’ll be mad. My father has the mindset that a woman who doesn’t work is worthless and he has told me a few times that my husband will leave me for a female coworker who is more of a h...

Q: How do you deal with doubt/ trying to find a reason for life. Also figuring out the distinction between relationship with God and Christian Nationalism. I’m feeling very lost and like I’m on the wall of losing my faith.  I don’t want to lose my faith, but my prayers feel vain, and reading the Bible just seems like reading any other History book. I don’t know what to do I’m pretty sure God is real, but I don’t understand. For instance, I’ve prayed for almost 3yrs that God would take away the deep feelings I have for my ex because it causes me so much hurt and He never does. Everyday I wake up crippled by the pain of that situation, I feel lost and lonely and yet my cries feel like they’re bouncing off the walls of Heaven.  I’m not looking for any kind of male validation. I simply think that if God is so good and brings peace then I wouldn’t still be struggling so hard with this amongst other things. I feel like nothing in my life goes any good way at all. I pray and nothing ...

Q: Help, how I’m going to survive a separation into divorce! I feel like I’m literally dying. Not sleeping, not eating. Losing weight. Losing hair. Can’t function. The reality of my 11 year marriage ending. I feel like I can’t survive. We have 3 young children. I have no money. No career. I own nothing. I’ll also have to see him everyday, because of our children. I can’t even grieve in the way of out of sight out of mind or something.  We are still sweet to each other. So much love there. But... he gave up. And no changing his mind. I can’t do this. 💔😭 A: Prayers for God's peace over you as you trust Him.  I dont think that sounds like behavior of a saved man. He would go to the pastor for counsel, seek out professionals and do all he can for the marriage. I dont know the details of why you're separating or headed towards divorce. I dont want to assume who is at fault for why it got there, but hopefully you were living in submission to him [on non Faith matters] and living ...

Q: Me and husband decided to separate but the whole time apart he wanted to come back... but I were so hurt by what caused the separation, that I denied him all access to me. 6 months later I to missed him, and want him to come back.  Then he asks to come back again, but I didn't made it clear that I want him to come back. Around that time 💔 he told me that it’s a possibility that he has a baby on the way. Meaning he broke the marriage covenant, committed adultery, didn't even use protection, and now there's probably a child from that sexual sin.  How would you feel or what would you do? A: Sinners sin. That's not a usually biblical accepted reason to kick them out and seperate. Plenty of marriages are unequally yoked. And, you didnt say why you seperated, which plays a key in giving counsel.  We arent to live our lives focused on uncontrolled emotions, but be soberminded, and to have our minds and hearts saturated by the Word, so we can be led on the Holy path. To get...

Proverbs 14:1-3 The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands. Returning to your Husband: Key Bible Principles & Verses Marriage is a covenant to be honored • Malachi 2:14–16 – God hates divorce; He calls spouses to faithfulness. • Matthew 19:4–6 – “What God has joined together, let no one separate.” • Wives are called to love & submit to their husbands (within God’s love and headship) • Ephesians 5:22–24 – Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. • Colossians 3:18 – Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. • Husbands are called to love sacrificially • Ephesians 5:25–28 – Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church, giving Himself for her. • 1 Peter 3:7 – Husbands are to honor and live with their wives understandingly. • Unsaved spouses cant do that since theyre not born again, but can try to be a somewhat morally decent spouse.  • Forgiveness and reconciliation • 1 Corinthians 7:10–11 – “A wife must not sepa...

Q: We are struggling with considering leaving our current church. It in someways is a solid church. I do like the way the teachings are set up.  My issues are:  ●weak leadership- lack of church discipline(if there is any at all, no one is aware of it except for the elders).  ○I personally feel 2 of our 4 elders are not qualified.  ●There is alot of gossip (one of the elders wife's is a huge part of that, and she is young and unteachable- goes as far as to say she won't listen to older women).  ● We have some members that are socialist and will admit to it and are very into all that entails.  ●My family personally feels very ignored. I used to try to text and try to meet for lunch with our pastors wife, and always got ignored- finally gave up trying. (Its very cliquey, including the elders). ●My biggest concern is while we do not have women elders or deacons, it has been preached that our church's position is that its not wrong, and could be considered in th...

Q: Dating someone who professes to be a Christian, but is not really practicing. How to share with them your decision to remain purity focused/ abstinent, and not kiss before marriage? I’m honestly a bit scared about how someone might react to that. I’ve met practicing Christian men who weren’t ready to go that far, but I’ve also met other Christians who actually respected and shared that conviction. The “no kissing” part is usually the hardest to explain, because I know many Christians who are fine with kissing before marriage. Personally, I’ve chosen not to, for several reasons that are important to me. Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth giving a chance to someone who isn’t fully practicing but still believes in God, and just being upfront that there won’t be sex or kissing until marriage. But I also believe that real love transcends everything and that if someone truly loves me, they’ll understand and respect that.  Advice? A: His answer tells you if hes not the one. There's ...

Q: Should you break off an engagement if your significant other isn’t as much into the church as you are? My fiancé will go to church, but will not want to go sometimes and I take the kids by myself. I feel like I’m on fire for Jesus, and he just isn’t. He often says “what has Jesus done for me?” And I try to tell him to keep the faith don’t lose that faith in him. I don’t know what to do.  We’ve been together for 14 years and have 2 children together. Ive been engaged to him for 7 years. He doesn’t seem to want to get married either, but I do so badly. Advice?  A: Guys usually know within 9 months if he wants to marry a woman. He will pursue it and get married right away. The fact that the relationship is 14 years old and you didnt marry after 1 year (let alone now on Year 7) is a very major red flag. He is using you. He is getting all the wife benefits without you having security and legal protections, as well as living in sin outside God's will. Your fornicating led to preg...

Q: I'm struggling with the commandment honor thy mother and thy father.  What if they do not honour or show you respect? Are you just supposed to be treated like garbage by them but yet be oh so kind and loving to them in return anyways? What if there is years of emotional abuse.  Thank goodness my step-dad has now been sober 2 years but there was years of trauma throughout my entire childhood. I'm now 33.... and now my mom drinks and if she has a bad day im the one getting messages at midnight being her punching bag. I have 3 babies under 3 they dont visit much despite them both being retired and only live a few hours away. Which saddens me because my oldest son loves his gma but shes never there. She didnt even show up for my first childs birth which really hurt. She seems to think ive ruined her life and that ive bled them dry because they helped pay for my first car, school, and other things most parents help with. I moved out at 16 and started working at 14 because they ...