CounselingChristians

Q: Help, how I’m going to survive a separation into divorce! I feel like I’m literally dying. Not sleeping, not eating. Losing weight. Losing hair. Can’t function. The reality of my 11 year marriage ending. I feel like I can’t survive. We have 3 young children. I have no money. No career. I own nothing. I’ll also have to see him everyday, because of our children. I can’t even grieve in the way of out of sight out of mind or something.  We are still sweet to each other. So much love there. But... he gave up. And no changing his mind. I can’t do this. 💔😭 A: Prayers for God's peace over you as you trust Him.  I dont think that sounds like behavior of a saved man. He would go to the pastor for counsel, seek out professionals and do all he can for the marriage. I dont know the details of why you're separating or headed towards divorce. I dont want to assume who is at fault for why it got there, but hopefully you were living in submission to him [on non Faith matters] and living ...

Q:My husband told me this week that realized he’s not in love with me.  Our marriage hasn’t been perfect but more often than not it’s been beautiful. He’s being incredibly kind. Full of patience for the fact I don’t have anyone but him (my family’s insane.) but he’s “not willing” to try to fix it. He says we’ve been doing that for the entirety of it.  I just need prayers. I need God to reignite our marriage. Life’s been hard but that is the love of my life. He says he’s not interested in anyone else, but also he’s not willing to try with me. Please pray my husband is returned to me pray for a miracle in my marriage. Pray for me to get better so that he can put faith into our marriage. Please just pray as I need all I can get I’m terrified. I’m in absolute adoration of my husband. He brought me to Jesus. He’s my best friend. I just need this to be okay. I know it will be because Gods plan for me is absolute perfection. I love just him so. A: I cant see how he is your best fridn...

Q: Why is it in convos when believing women say "my husband treats me terrible… and this is how…” but those providing responses or counsel go right to “are you a good wife…?”  I say this because I was raised in a “godly, Christian home” and guess what?! My dad just straight was a narcissist… no matter how my mom acted.  God didn’t say worship yalls man… God didn’t say slave to yalls man… men should be held to a higher standard. Yall are giving them the bare minimum and that’s not okay. A: Voddie rightfully notes that when believers go their own way (marry unequally yoked in rebellion to God's command), they reap what they sow. "You married him. You got exactly what you wanted".  Equally-yoked married couples focus on pursuing holiness, being a godly spouse. The husband loves the wife as Christ loves the Church, and the wife loves her husband. She is a blessing to him, a treasure, and he is grateful to God, and treats her as such.  In unequally yoked marriages, the be...

Q: Neglectful Husband Husband ignores me whenever I bring up divorce. I’m emotionally and mentally neglected in many ways and for various of reasons feel I have grounds of divorce.  He has changed a lot of things, but the main things I genuinely am I need of he doesn’t really fix: neglect.  Is there a reason why I would get stone walled when I ask about divorce? I genuinely feel like he doesn’t love me and he is dragging me along. I need advice. A: At this point I will highly recommend tou meet with a biblical counselor. First for yourself, and then together. You could just call it "marriage counseling" when you discuss it with him, as if he knows its faith related he will likely oppose it. And it is fine to have a male counselor once you go as couples, so he wont feel ganged up on by women and so the counselor deals with him properly man to man, in a biblical way.  This should be your first step and priority instead if asking for or considering divorce. When you go they'...

Q: Desire to divorce, adultery and tons of other problems. I'm tired and exhausted. I want out.  A: He is an unbeliever. Why are you expecting someone not in the Kingdom to have kingdom behavior? He isnt regenerated; doesnt have the new nature in Christ. This is one big error young women make when dating. They see anyone as dating material, instead of looking only at the limited number of available godly suitors she is to pursue who meet biblical qualifications as the first step (before even dating). And then get all upset that he isnt living up to Christian standards. A believers behavior is not in his nature. He is spiritually dead. You have to be the living example of Christ in the home, radiating love; the love of God, towards him.  The Believer's stays, and pursues her husband in love, and for Christ.  Sinners behave as their nature. If unsaved, they only sin. If saved they pursue holiness and conquer sin. You cant blame him for living out his nature, but you can se...

Q: My husband and I have been in a terrible place over the last couple of months and its heavy today. Sunday was a pretty big fight, and he said he would rather be by himself than continue like this..im not mad, I agree..but I don't want to give up.  We've become roommates. When we argue, I need closure. I need to talk things out and get back to a good place. He likes to separate until we calm down and then act like nothing ever happened, which is how things are always handled. I keep quiet about my needs because he is so much louder and more aggressive than I am, so I walk away, cry and try to pretend Im ok. There's never an apology or working things out, and his words can be so harsh its like he ripped my heart out.  I feel like 90% of the time, I'm just trying to be ok. It has worked that way since we started dating 20 years ago..but im officially on empty. I can't keep pouring from an empty cup. I've become numb, and he takes it as me having an attitude, whi...

===Marriage==== Divine Design for Marriage  Pt 1 .  Pt2.  Pt3  Husbands love your wife Marriage Resources  ====DIVORCE===== Discussions & FAQ about Divorce There are 4  views on Marriage  in Christianity, in regards to divorce Qs, & nuances to consider.  1. Permanence View **No divorce, no remarriage under any circumstances.** Marriage is a lifelong, unbreakable union “one flesh” until death. Remarriage after divorce, while a former spouse lives, is considered adultery regardless of reason . 2. Semi‑Permanence View Permits divorce in specific cases (like adultery or abandonment), but does not allow remarriage while the original spouse is alive . 3. Conservative-Permissive view Within the broad Permissive View, the Conservative-Permissive (or Two-Clause View) is: Far more restrictive than liberal Protestant views. It’s stricter than the broader "Permissive" view. Clearly bounded by two scriptural clauses (Matthew 19:9 and 1 Corinthians 7:...

Q: This probably sounds dumb, but - My husband wants a divorce, I don't. He had bought me a cross necklace ( real jewelry ) and I wear it 24/7. It hurts to look at it at times and a part of me wants to rip it off my neck out of hurt and anger. But because it has the cross on it, I don't want to toss it out of guilt because of the symbol of the cross. Is it wrong of me to get rid of the necklace? Am I just being paranoid you think ? A: The necklace was given out of love snd reminds you of your Savior who perfectly loved and loves you. Keep it. Is he professing Christ? Does he go to church? Does he have a more neutral or positive vs negative mindset about God? Is he open to counseling? I would keep the cross. Tbh you could use it as a springboard for various convos w him. *"Honey, you know Jesus went to extremes lengths to show his love for us, while we were sinners... we should think like God. Let's get counseling and try to save this marriage." * "Ho...

Q: I regret something: last week I petitioned to dismiss my divorce case. My husband cheated on me (or tried to) with a few women, he was on meth, he treats my 2 oldest kids who aren't his differently from the kids we have together, and also he isn't Christian. I regret that decision now. The reason why I dismissed the case is because I lost my job and I don't wanna lose custody of our daughter (plus, I was starting to have a mental breakdown from stress and trauma). :( A: It's good you didn't divorce as God calls us to live godly before our unsaved spouse. Its not easy, but its what we have to persevere in, as were in a life covenznt before God. We dont abandon someone on a sinking ship, we get thrm in thr lifeboat and help get them safely to shore, to safety, to help, to save them. You dont get to bail when times get tough and let him drown. Jesus would never do that to you either.    I hope these can help you. Dont forget... God is in the restoration business. Wh...

Q: I'm at the point where i want to leave my husband. I feel terrible but i don’t know what to do. im so unhappy. for years i have been telling him my needs. we spend no quality time together (we just literally watch tv in our room at night), he’s always staring at his phone and ignores me. i will be speaking to him and he’ll ignore me a half the time. when i walk downstairs in the morning he doesn’t even look at me. he just looks at his phone…for a while without acknowledging me. We have 3 young kids…so i need quality time at the end of the night. i feel so unloved and unwanted. i just told him again today that he didn’t even acknowledge me this morning and after an hour of him staring at his phone sitting on the couch... he then came up to me and hugged me. he said i expect him to roll down a red carpet and say my queen has arrived.  He screams at me at times. he calls me names at times. i honestly feel like he might manipulate me too. he tells me if i leave im never going to fin...