CounselingChristians

Q: My mom passed away in her sleep yesterday. She was only 61 and as of right now we don't know why? She never confessed Christ as Lord and I'm having trouble trusting God. The thought of my mother being eternally separated from God is something my mind can't cope with. It hurts more deeply than anything I've ever felt. A: My heart go out to you in this time of deep grief and sorrowful suffering. It reminds me of Lazarus death in John 11:32-36: "When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled....Jesus wept." Jesus, the God-Man, our Savior also in his humanity and surely as God, was grieved, and was a man of sorrows too, much more than we can fathom. He's experienced loss as well, and he can comfort us in times like this. And it is in times like this we need to lean on Him, and stay close to Him in the Scriptures, and by other believers conforting and reminding you of his goodnes...

Q: I want to wait until marriage but boyfriend does not. Long distance, so kind of confused? Would this be a deal breaker for yall? He said he is willing to wait but does not want too if that makes any sense. He is professing Chrisitan A:  No. Say no. Hold firm. You obey God and live holy.  Is he saved? Pursuing holiness? He needs to be discipled by godly men at church if saved...as fornication is a serious sin, rebellion against God. Is he even a member of a church? Is he active there?  I am watching a sermon right now 😅 that touched on Jewish wedding, and I am very familiar it. The celebration and event was very expensive. Everyone in town was invited. It lasted 7 days. If you didn't invite and provide for everyone, lawsuits galore happened. But Purity is part of it pre marriage too. Dating or courting.  This touches on purity before marriage as well which you can read. Heres some resources for him And get him this book  on Purity for Men. *The book explain...

Video game blog In 80s and early 90s video games were stand alone, or shared at home with siblings. After that the industry became a billion dollars business raking in money, and connecting players to random people, making stranger danger a problem, and bad influences on your kids were also getting a hold of them via the headset.  Gaming is an addiction now not a light hobby, or just a light thing you enjoy for 20 minutes, and move on in your day. It is ruining families, married relationships, and relationships with kids, cuz the husband neglects his family to feed his addiction.   A guy on tv said he spent $40,000 on games using the in app feature. One would think it must've taken him 20 years to spend that, but... turns out it was only 400 days. That's barely more than one year. He spent $100 a day on gaming. And noted recently he even spent almost $800 one day.  Today's gaming should be avoided. If it's absolutely necessary for some reason, buy the old games like ...

Many men in Christian homes who are new, weak in the faith or just clueless dont even know this, so unsaved men def don't. They live sinfully selfish lives, oblivious and uncaring. Being married means you are united as one. You have one purpose together as a unit and are a team on mission for Christ, presenting the Gospel to the world by your life lived in Faith, by being of one mind and mission to present and teach the Gospel to your kids and others, and are a team. So when we live out being Christlike, husbands too are to love their wives as Christ loved and loves the Church (his bride). Husbands are to be the humble sacrificial servant to you just as you are to him. Putting each other and the family before one's self. This is a reason Scripture points out that Husbands are to love their wives. Loving as Christ did and does for his bride. The lengths he went to on mission and at the cross, and elas servant to God and fellow man even to doing dirty despised things such as was...

Q: Honestly, I am this close to giving up on everything. Not life, just this whole Jesus journey. He is not listening to me, and I have tried everything. Life is just constant torment and annoyance, I am SO TIRED of being broke and hating myself and the way I look. Joy is not something that comes easy for me, with all my trauma. Not to mention I am so tired of my brain attacking me all the time. If God was so "perfect" why did he make mental illness, and why are we expected to deal with it when our own BRAINS that he CREATED malfunction? I think I am done with religion. Its good to get rid of religion. By that I mean a belief people/you've made up. It sounds like either someone decieved you with a false gospel or you misunderstood, or never understood Christianity.  There is no blessing nor grace in life or eternity without YHWH.  The world is Fallen thus full of suffering. God uses all things (whichever comes into your life either directed or allowed) to strengthen your ...

Q: I'm at the point where i want to leave my husband. I feel terrible but i don’t know what to do. im so unhappy. for years i have been telling him my needs. we spend no quality time together (we just literally watch tv in our room at night), he’s always staring at his phone and ignores me. i will be speaking to him and he’ll ignore me a half the time. when i walk downstairs in the morning he doesn’t even look at me. he just looks at his phone…for a while without acknowledging me. We have 3 young kids…so i need quality time at the end of the night. i feel so unloved and unwanted. i just told him again today that he didn’t even acknowledge me this morning and after an hour of him staring at his phone sitting on the couch... he then came up to me and hugged me. he said i expect him to roll down a red carpet and say my queen has arrived.  He screams at me at times. he calls me names at times. i honestly feel like he might manipulate me too. he tells me if i leave im never going to fin...

Q: My husband (whom I am hoping to divorce) and I were together 9 years, we have two sons.  Before marrying, I caught him in the beginning flirting and getting pictures from other women. He lied about hanging out with one girl all day. I forgave and married him. That was all in year one. Then He ignored me and wanted nothing to do with me for a majority of the time during my first pregnancy. He was just wanting to watch porn and didnt even want me. After I had my first son, once I could have sex it was crazy painful for months. It was like painful, felt like being intimate with broken glass. Doctor said it was nerve damage and would take time to recover. For 9 months he was coercive and if I didn't have sex he'd ignore me and the baby, he'd storm around and punch stuff. He's put holes in walls in front of the kids, he broke the wiper switch inside my car. The list goes on. So I'd give in, I'd usually end up in tears a minute into it. Sometimes I'd ask him t...

Q: Im so confused about my life.  Husband wants a divorce, I don't. We've been through alot. Been together 4 years , married for 2. He doesnt feel things will get better or I won't change into who he needs. (I found God during the hardships of our marriage) no infidelity, just bad fights and arguments.  We are staying in 2 separate rooms at the house. But he still wants to be intimate and have sex , sleep together at night some times, etc.  I let us to because I guess it makes things feel "normal" again so to speak and hope that he wants me. I figured we are still married so isnt it an okay kinda thing.  He still tells me (having sex still, doesn't change his mind) we are getting a divorce.  He's gonna file paperwork next week, and when kids are out of school he said we need to separate.  But will also make comments saying he doesn't want me to find someone else , we can hook up , etc after we separate.... he doesnt say I'm not allowed to find som...

Q:  I’ve been praying as this particular issue I’ve been dealing with for a long time but just wanted to hear from other ladies their insight on what they would do in the situation because if I speak out, I’m shut down and called a nag. My husband likes to job hop. Recently he quit a job and told me he had a job offer for another job lined up but it wasn’t true. He quit because he wasn’t happy with the job. Just a bit of back story, I’ve been paying majority of the bills for years as he doesn’t sustain a job. It got so bad that my previous apartment we lived in, i broke the lease and moved back in with my parents and kids because of his lack of contribution. I originally had left because he was cheating but anyways, I thought he was a changed man and by no means is anyone perfect but we are in our own place again at the second home and he quit few weeks back and it’s a repetitive cycle. This time he says he only wants a work from home job, but that can take quite some time to find,...

Q: My boyfriend of a year who was about to propose to me confessed to me that he sometimes looks at women when we are out and admires their beauty even one he thought was hot and looked at her boobs for a moment and then looked away. 4 times he said. He said he notices their beauty but doesn’t lust. Ive also caught him do it several times.  This hurts me and makes me feel inadequate. I’m almost 40 and all these girls were around 20. It makes me feel old, unattractive, and like I’m not good enough for him. It’s like he’s saying “because he didn’t lust” it’s okay. But to me I didn’t dream of marrying a man who admires other women’s beauty any time they walk by. For me if the hottest man in the world walked by I wouldn’t even glance or care. It wouldn’t faze me. They’re invisible. All men but him are invisible to me. Why can’t he love me the same way? I see through a spiritual lens not of the flesh. I see love. And that makes everyone else unattractive to me or invisible. I don’t feel...

Q: Is it normal to be frustrated/angry with your parents as a young adult? And what do you do about it  I’m 18 and I’m about to graduate highschool but I am just butting heads with my parents really badly, especially my mom. I mean I do still live at home, I’m still in school. I am homeschooled and don’t go many places, bc I don’t have my drivers license yet, so I see a lot of her and she just really gets on my nerves. She tends to be a bit emotionally immature and a bit controlling. I obviously have mental work to do as well.. no one is perfect. I’ve seen some people say it’s normal and happens as you get older but I just need advice on what to do about it. I just don’t know how to live with her and manage this, at this weird age where I’m an adult but also not an adult at the same time. I need advice to help reason with her to let me have more freedom to be an adult. It feels suffocating and kind of can't wait to move out. A: It is good you are thinking through this and wanting t...

Q: I’m 21 yrs old i’m in college etc.  After dating 4 yes, I went through a breakup about 5 months ago. Since the breakup I have felt so numb. I’ve been angry or in a horrible mood everyday. All i want to do is rot in bed. I get upset at every little thing. I hate being this person. I used to be so bubbly and always was down to do something. Can you recommend me to anything? Maybe a Hobby? A good word I can read? Some advice?  Thank you  A: Thank God that it didnt work out, as He has a right & godly man for you. It is in His timing, so wait and trust Him 🩷✝️. These can help you move forward Regarding the break up Biblical hope for a break up Realign to God's Word, a godly mindset and holy living. Surrounding yourself with believers at Church, and move onwards so you are rightly serving and living for God.    Conquering discontentment and other sins Here's resources related to dating , and pursuing a godly guy.  A suggestion beyond reading Scripture ...

Q: I'm ashamed to admit that I've never taken God seriously. I'm 55 and have lived a life full of sin with no remorse, regret or sorrow.  I realize now that I have a reprobate mind and I seared my conscience to have done the things in life I have done in life. I even had called myself a Christian which makes things worse. Nine months ago I had a full on panic attack out of the blue, which required me having to call 911. I told the dispatcher that Satan was in my head. When they arrived I begged the police officer to shoot me. They strapped me down in the ambulance and all I can remember is thinking the words "do you feel worthy of the Kingdom of heaven" and there I cried out to God saying I'm sorry over and over again.  After that I was spiritually attacked and thought of suicide for 3 days. I've been in a mental hospital twice now, since then.  I am a shell of a man riddled with fear and anxiety. My saving grace is that he removed my desire for sexual sin...

Q: I am dating a saved man living a Christian life. How do we discern that the man in your life was sent by God, or right for me. I always pray to God asking him to take him away if it doesn’t align with His will. But what should I be thinking about? A: May not be sent by God but just freedom to find a godly suitor worthy to be the leader and spiritual leader over you.  [Create a list] Gleen some convo & probing ideas from this and this to have deeper convos to discuss with him, and you can go from there to see if your goals in the faith and in marriage align. Get pastoral counsel about it. And be prayerful.  If its a "possibly" then both need to decide if your headed towards marriage. If so, actively work on areas you need to in the Faith and mindset towards marriage. Consider what areas you can biblically compromise on and just submit to him on when married, that arent super important from an eternal and godly life perspective. If you find out he's not interested...

Q:I need prayer… my husband and I got married 3 years ago. He had asked for a divorce more times than I can count. Things started getting really bad. Arguing all the time, he wouldn’t help me around the house or with the kids and almost never helped me pay any bills. I was basically a married single mom doing it all. Anytime I would voice my concerns he would get mad and it would lead to an argument. One day he threatened me and told me that he would kill me.  Years ago [before we got married and saved] he did punch me in the face and gave me a concussion. So this time, I got so scared but I never turned to anyone for help. He would yell and say horrible things to me in front of our kids. One day while I was cooking, he grabbed the pan I was cooking with and slammed it on the counter next to me, breaking the pan. Frying bacon grease went everywhere. I called the cops because I thought he was going to hurt me. Cops basically said since he didn’t hit me and that we are married that t...