Parenting adult children
Navigating a parental relationship with adult children
Q: Are there any recommendations for resources on parenting adult children. Not even “parenting” as they are adults but more navigating relationships with your children after they are adults. It is proving more difficult than we ever imagined. We do go to scripture daily, first and always.
A: Hopefully you have prepared them for right living in this world, taught them people skills, finance skills, relationship skills, navigating life skills, taught them Essentials of the faith so they dont stray from truth and can see red flags of false religions or beliefs easily,...and you have had solid convos with them in their teen years about important things. This builds up their positive association with you as a reliable authority to bounce things off of.
I would prepare them now for when they are going to leave the home and say/share *the below*. If theyre already adults I would have this discussion asap over tea. Doing this helps so they dont gravitate to get random advice from bad company and ungodly people around them or even weak faith of 20 year olds [from dif. religious groups tooooo] advising them or try to 'go it alone' in life even as 30 year olds. That's a disasterous tumblweed philosophy.
I would have a straight up convo on it. Clearly saying and explaining:
* Let them know they are still a member of the family.
*That you are still a parent and still important in their life.
* In fact now that they are older you are finally able to have adult convos with them.
*You are a go to resource for navigating relationships, can give godly advice in that, life matters and faith matters still.
*Having lived through varried life situations, helped counsel other believers in the church over the years too,
*and God put you in their life to still be your family and advisers after you leave home and after you marry.
* Create a policy of resolving conflicts between you so there's less problems.
*Note that your godly parents should be the first ones you come to for advice and for mulling something over, also for prayer in various circumstances and issues.
*They are not to go about life alone but have a solid support system God built this into the family and the church.
*That they should gratefully seek & prayerfully consider any advice given by you (which you connected to Scripture too), get further guidance by examining Scripture themselves, pray on it and...make a decision.
*That you expect them to have this as a life philosophy, for their good.
*That after they follow the above, you will pray for them, and respect their decision for whatever they end up doing.
> If they disregard your advice it might not end well and they have to deal with the fall out and possible consequences.
> Same with after getting their Pastors advice.
- If their decision goes wrong you should come back to parents for godly counsel on what to do now, (and learn from it so they start making better choices).
# Parent, When you mess up or do something wrong make sure to resolve it; go to them, share your heart, repent apologize, prayerfully seek to not do it again, and restore the fellowship.
These resources may or may not have additional helps
Doing life with your adult children
https://www.christianbook.com/doing-adult-children-mouth-welcome-ebook/jim-burns/9780310353799/pd/97671EB
*the subtitle has me concerned but if you follow the above principle and it has some useful info to be graciously & helpfully vocally connected to your kids then go for it.
You can't be bossy but are just in an guiding advisor role now.
The Silver Lining: A Practical Guide for Christian Grandmothers https://a.co/d/fWPw1jK
Don't be a meddlesome MIL
* Making sure your children understand the fallen world, the imperfect people in the church, and know how to have a right mindset towards reconciliation and restored fellowship. It will go a long way when resolving conflicts between you both.
Hope this helps
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