Child Disobeys House Rule
Not obeying house rules & plays on Device instead.
My Son is 9. He keeps complaining about what food we offer at a meal and doesnt just be thankful or obey.
Last year he was focused on his tablet device and not doing the house rule. 20 minutes of Bible reading and then you can have 30 minutes on the tablet.
I work from home and am very busy and he uses that as a way to work around having to follow the rule. Because I cannot see him during that time. It is the only house rule. I have tried to take it away but once that time is up (we did it for 6 months) he goes right back to breaking the rule. What can I do?
A: The child should not be able to change the house rules. What you say should be what happens, and if not, there are consequences.
Some will quote these verses right off in their advice:
Obey
”He who holds back his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.“
Proverbs 13:24
”Do not withhold discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod And deliver his soul from Sheol.“
Proverbs 23:13-14
Others will say punishment of planks, push ups and jumping jacks 20x or so till his arms go jelly and he will start obeying.
And ask why does he have an iPad at all if this is his attitude? I would remove it permanently. Also there are tons of ways to discipline besides removing privileges- spanking, having them stand in a corner for an amount of time, additional chores, etc.
There are resources below that can be in home lessons your father or a youth leader can come over and have him go through with him.
You also need to show him the Commandment in the Bible and have a talking to him. If his father is in the household he needs to be the one to give the talk. Then you need to have a time of prayer together where your son confesses his sins and tells God he is going to obey because God requires his parents to obey God and children to obey their parents too. Because they know what is best for you. And it is for your own good and in line with what God has told us in Scripture teaches.
Explain this illustration to him.
There's a illustration Ray Comfort used for pointing to the Love of God and honoring towards Parents.
He came home one day and his kids didnt go give their normal door welcome home greeting. They were sucked to the tv. He called them over and said listen i gave you that as a gift because I live you, but if that gift comes between me and you.. it is gone.
They wised up and did what they should have, from then in, out of love.
Kids need to obey.
You could also have him write the policy out 100x while you are there after work. And have him do it again the next morning. Also write out the obedience verse above 100x on that 2nd day too
Try the policy again but restate it.
"You can't read your Bible until..." make Scripture the reward it is supposed to be, not the chore he believes it is.
Put a password on the iPad that he doesn't know. You have to log it in for him to use it, so you can ensure that his other work is done first.
Set a specific time of day for his reading. He needs a schedule. Whether it is while you are at work or after work when you can watch him in the living room or kitchen. Designate a place for the reading. Set an alarm on your phone for his Bible reading time, and be the responsible adult parent taking 2 min out of your day to give that important attention to your son so he can obey the rule. Then give him the daily password to the tablet or ligg in for him.
Let him know that if he doesnt obey you (mom and dad) from now on...then there are big consequences coming: all his privileges will be taken away. No play activities w friends. No devices. No internet, No video games, no television. Nothing. He will only have books available to him. For a whole year.
If he disobeys then follow through stating he knew the consequences. And stick to it.
After a year:
Start with giving back only the tablet and Bible. >Do not give the other privileges back until he earns them every two months one after another.
That way if he disobeys its easy to cut off the main thing - tablet.
If after a year he does it again when limited privileges are restored...
*If he cannot obey and there is no father in the picture then you need to bring him to the Pastor, and if that doesnt fix it, bring him to a Biblical Counselor to nip this now before he becomes an uncontrollable rebellious teen.
#Parenting
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