Son left Christianity (due to false convert husband abandoning wife)
Q: I’m worried about my adult son. I pray but it seems evil prevails.
My husband (yes still married) left to live with his mistress. Our young adult son, finishing school still lives at home.
Before his dad left, he was studying the Bible. He even got baptized & found himself a church. He was so determined to serve God.
He has heard me praying for my marriage & for our family for years. The mistress has caused mental anxiety & trauma for both of us but the biggest thing is that my son stopped believing. He said God has seen all of it & heard me praying for years & we also get the opposite of what I pray for. Everything in the kid’s life just kept going wrong. So now he says pretty bad things about God & that terrifies me. I know we are all responsible for our walk in life but I also know the dad & mistress is the cause of his unbelief.
The only verse I know is the one about being better with a mill stone around the neck than to cause a little one to stumble. He’s not little anymore. Everything else I can find is how children are commanded to honor their parents. It doesn’t cover if a parent caused distress & unbelief to the child.
I feel my son deep down wants something to believe in. I believe he reacted out of hurt & feelings of rejection & he feels like God didn’t rescue us. He was young & a new believer & I felt let down by God for not helping him. My son said he never felt him & he prayed and asked every day to feel His presence.
I’m struggling to pray now. I prayed so hard for so long. But I’m the only one my son has to pray for him.
Thanks for listening. We both need prayers. I have failed.
Oh yeah, my husband says he’s a Christian lol Give me a break. But God will save him because he does believe in Christ. I guess on that note, I could just have a boyfriend. But yeah again, I can’t. Why? I feel it doesn’t seem to matter to God either way.
A: Before I answer this, I want to note that it appears there was no daily family Bible hour at home, your husband doesnt sound like he read the Bible nor had Bible discussions with you nor was there a family or couples prayer time. This gives off red flags as to a big part of the problem. The other is you are assuming that whatever you pray will happen as if God is a genie who serves you. God wants us to pray for His will to be done. So our prayers are to focus on God guiding us daily in any situations so that everytging works together to result in good and His will being accomplished.
Getting to the answer ...
Those who read and know the Bible, know that there are false converts everywhere (as well as religions and cults [and those in them] that also masqurade as "Christian").
Those like your husband who do not show proof in their lives that they are saved (such as sexual thoughts leading to sexual actions etc incl adultery, and are unrepentant about it [they dont repent of it once and for all; no fear of God]) but happlily live doing it, [also shows by abandoning truth, and his spouse], that they were never a believer [thus not walking in righteousness]. He has failed to be the spiritual leader in the home and that includes being as the one in the position to be as Christ who loved the church [to you]. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ lovedvthe Church.
See these:
On the other note, we cannot assume God's plans are our plans for what we want to happen in life. We can clearly see all kinds of horrible things in this world happening from a myriad of clear examples in the church. Even around adultery and divorce. (*the below gives very interesting eye opening points on this).
What we do know is the world is full of sinners. Even the actual believers who live in sanctification as they grow in faith day by day still make mistakes, but they do t go back to wallow in the world as the unsaved and false converts live. These are things your son needs to be taught/explained by you.
We cannot blame God when people with freewill to sin... sin. The people doing the evil are at fault.
We know God works out all things for our good and for His plans. This situation might very well be a blessing to you in freeing you from an unequally yoked marriage. He has abandoned you, had an affair (left and moved out), and so cannot come back to you. He severed the marriage so get divorced from him. Scripture is clear. Thank God he has freed you from that man. What a blessing.
In this case all the bad happening while it didnt kerp you locked into a horrible marriage for 40 more years, it resulted in you being freed from him. And now you have a feesh start to [once divorved] go live a godly life that grows by leaps and bounds and is greatly blessed [even if other diff troubles in life come your way].
This clarifies the faq about God and bad things. Its vital every believer grasp this. You and your son.
This actually shows that God is the answer, and because of Jesus we have a hope and a coming future in eternity (that will be sin free). [We are just traveling through this world to get there].
So, ReFocus your sons faith on God and not people who sin and let us down. We are not living in a perfect world - but a fallen one abundant with sinners and suffering.
While technically an adult the below for young people can help him. It is for varied ages. (scroll to his age range).
After he understands the topic above clearly, share these with him. It
*can help solidify his faith. (Covers Christianity and reconciling Science, but you can share the Christianity investigation part).
Hope this all helps as you minister to your child, and is a help for you too.
God bless 🤗✝️⭐
PS. There is a section here for adults and married couples and parents. Since your son is an adult the first two would be good areas for you to go through as a adult and someone who might remarry. To get yourself prepared for a biblical marriage to a truly born again man who is godly and mature in the faith, so he can lead you & yiu can be a blessing to each other.
⭐Feel free to bookmark this page and the Growing Believers main resource for believers so you can go through it all 😊. It is a treasure trove that will bless you. ✝️
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