Q: For many yrs my husband has been caught looking at women online, interacting with them and watching videos, as well as porn. He said sorry but then it keeps happening. I'm tired of this. Im very heartbroken and feel betrayed and unloved. Can we divorce?
A: Abandoning you for other women means he broke the marriage covenant. If he is not repentant with a contrite heart to stop sinning against God and you then he severed the marriage Covenant. He abandoned you. If its clear he will keep doing it, and has not been called to salvation [radically transformed by God into a new creation, where he hates and abhors sin & will not ever commit sexual sin again], divorce is allowed. Be mindful of the biblical options. Get further biblical counseling on this, before any decisions(!). They'll advise you need to go to the farthest furthest extent, to not divorce, until you've exhausted all possibilities.
Get a clear understanding on this here [lower on page] in the 2 part series "The Truth about Divorce" explaining it.
There are reasons you would remain married and live godly before him regardless of most circumstances as unequally yoked. Not sure those apply here but in case, heres resources in here to help if you dont divorce.
If you do, never ever ever date, court or marry anyone whose life doesnt show absolutely clear theyre born again; and striving for holy living. Vet them well from his Pastor & elders, to family and friends before you even consider dating him. Never marry unequally yoked again.
God be with you.
Resources:
Marriage resources
Divorce considerations
Verses to meditate on:
Proverbs 13:20: "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."
Ecclesiastes 7:12: "For wisdom is a defense
Matthew 10:16 "Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves."
Spouse Verses:
Colossians 2:6-8 reminds us:
"Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude.See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ."
And these
Titus 2:4-5
4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,
5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
Proverbs 18:22
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 31:10-12
10 An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
Titus 2:4-5
4 ... urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
1 Peter 3:3-4
3 Your adornment must not be merely external... but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
Proverbs 12:4
4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 18:22
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the Lord.
These verses collectively emphasize the value, trustworthiness, and moral character of a godly wife, highlighting her role in supporting and enriching her husband's life.
1 Corinthians 7:12-14
12 ... if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his believing wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
1 Peter 3:1-2
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
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