Divorced, saved & living w unsaved but open bf (add links) *

Q:  I am a new Christian, I wasn’t raised in the church so this is all fairly new to me. I gave my heart to Christ in last year, and then got baptized a month later.

I am currently reading through Luke for the first time & I just got to chapter 16 verse 18: “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and everyone who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.”

I am 30 years old, I am divorced, with no children. I got divorced before I became a Christian and I definitely had no idea that remarrying would actually be considered adultery?!

Well, I am currently living with my boyfriend who is not a believer but is very supportive of my faith.
We got together and moved in together before I became a Christian and before I “knew better.”
I was literally an atheist before, so this whole faith journey genuinely came out of nowhere and kinda shocked everyone. God really does work in mysterious ways! 😀

He is a decent man, and I pray every morning and every night that my faith plants a seed in his heart & he eventually comes to Christ too. He lets me read him Bible verses whenever I come across one that I like in particular. Today, I told him that he was like the lost sheep from Luke 15 hehe.

I know that all sin is considered equal, but I guess my question is.. What’s worse? Remarrying (committing adultery) the man I am in a healthy, loving relationship with OR never marrying again but living with a man unwed?

Does God really want me to be single forever? Never have kids? Never be in a relationship or a marriage ever again?
Does my marriage pre-baptism cancel itself out?

My last marriage was *very* abusive and it took me several failed attempts to leave.. I was hoping to escape from it and after a lot of time, healing, and working on myself, eventually try again.

I feel like I was robbed of many things in my life before I found God. I am a romantic at heart, and I was really hoping to find my one, true husband. The love of my life. I still want to have a fairytale wedding & have kids etc.

Note: I also realize what the Bible says about being equally yoked, but I am not in a position to leave this relationship. I truly believe that God is working in my boyfriend’s heart so I am being very patient.

A: Congrats & Praise God for your conversion.

The answer to which is worse is both are equally wrong if it is sin/rebellion to God's word & design. (More on that in a minute, to clarify in your case).

Yes you need to be baptised. It is your 1st act of obedience towards God as a believer. Public Testimony of what happened at salvation.

I will counsel you in a caring but truthful way: You seem to know where this is going anyway (which is good). If you love God you will obey him. Jesus spoke to the woman at the well and said she is living with someone not her husband. He convicted her of her sins. She told others, she found & followed her Messiah that day; she got saved.

You need to move out and go somewhere, you do need to do so asap. There are all kinds of options from churches (temp financial help, members room rent/temp stay free), to shelters. Contact your pastor and get help, & start moving asap.

You were not saved when you divorced so all of that was before you became a Christian. As a Christian you now have to obey God. He was clear in Scripture. The command is to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. So you cannot date, court, be engage to or marry someone who is "not a true believer".

UY marriages are a devastating nightmare for a believer; and there stuck with him 60 yrs. The husband is the leader in the home and spiritual leader. You cannot have Satan's child as your spiritual leader if Christ is your Savior. Light and darkness do not mix.

You can try to reach him for Christ, but you must move out first. He will see the seriousness of it and might try to pretend become Christian to keep you for his selfish sinful benefits/reasons. If he claims to turn to Jesus you need to vet it. Look constantly for proof (for 2 or 3 yrs) showing that he indeed has been radically transformed by God... or cut off that relationship. God has someone way better for you, (and its a no go anyway).

As of now, you also cannot be alone with your bf, as it gives him opportunity to lure you into fornication [a sin against God and your body]. You must remain pure till you marry a believer. He is not your husband.

Here is how you can share the Gospel with him. NeedGod.com short video. If he repents and turns to Jesus, great. Move out. Then Go see your pastor together, get counseling, and pre marriage counseling. Then wait to see true fruit, and marry.

Here are resources to help him understand the Gospel.

Here is info to help him understand who God is

Here is info that explains man and his need for Jesus/salvation

Heres more info to clarify salvation

Here are frequent questions non believers have, that can help them move to salvation based on reasonable faith. 

Here is Why Christianity

And here are Resources for Growing Believers  to bless. 

💪Keep reading Scripture and obeying what it teaches about righteous living. And may the Bible bring you closer and closer in your personal relationship with God and your Savior Jesus Christ. 🥰✝️

I hope he gets saved, and u marry & you both have kids (you raise well in the Lord), and also grow into maturity in faith, and as a team live daily for Him. I will pray... but you need to obey. Do things in the right order and God will bless you.

God bless 💜

Ps. Here is clarity on the Divorce & Remarriage question. Very important to know. It will aleviate your concerns. * Also some abuse does fall in line with this as well. Note what he says about death and not living out the responsibilities of a husband (it is related). Adultery, abandonment, abuse.