Struggling with perfectionism & anxiety

Q: I moved to another State a few months ago, and I have been struggling with my faith in Christ and my sense of identity. 

I have been really hard on myself about my distance from God, my lack of reading the Bible, praying and interceding for others. I know that there’s grace for my imperfection and shortcomings, but I really don’t like to disappoint God nor take his grace for granted. I try my best to make good decisions, do the right things, and learn from my mistake; but every time I mess up I hate myself even after repenting (especially over small mistakes like cursing). 

I spoke to a therapist who made me realize I struggle with perfectionism, self-hatred, shame, not setting good boundaries, communication anxiety and a significant fear of not being good enough. 

Lately I’ve been finding myself completely dissatisfied with my everyday life and getting caught up in not being the person I want to be. It’s really frustrating and it hurts because I want to serve the lord well and be authentically myself but it’s just so hard. My struggle with confidence, likes and dislikes, my identity in Christ, comparisons and what others say about me have made me disregard all the good parts about me. I keep thinking to myself why do people even like me or continue to be friends with me, when I don’t even like me? And if I don’t like me, does God look at me as if I’m digging myself into a greater pit of sin because of all my self-hate?

I would love some advice on how to grow out of this, I don’t want to hate myself.


A: First, hugs in Christ 🫂
Second, God is with us and thankfully He guides and directs us to conform us to the image and identity we are in Christ and are to be as humans. We are all works in progress 🙂. 

Other points to remember:
*Only what God thinks of you matters.
>He knows you are working through these and is guiding you to help you conquer them. 
>He loves you
>Your sins are paid for and in the past. 

The past is gone and all you can do is move forward. Take steps. Set a daily to do list and schedule it into your phone alarms and do them. It will become routine after 90 days of consistency. Dont allow deviation. 
Example: 
6am wake up alarm 
610am get ready
630am Bible reading 15 minutes
645am Prayers while making breakfast
Etc. Plug in these things for am and any evening too. Such as AudioBible on drive home, hymns music while cooking, etc. Dont overload yourself. Just start with basics for 90 days.

We are growing in sanctification. Not perfect. The truth is we all have many sins to conquer and have victory over. Its normal. They arent conquered overnight but over time, by love for God, time in the Word, storimg verses in our hearts, submission to it, eradication process and then victory over. 

You will get there 😊. 


I hope these counseling resources can help you think biblically & conquer these issues. 

God bless


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