I don't think my spouse is saved
Q: My husband thinks gambling on sports isn't a sin. He doesn't read the Bible over his family nor talk about the things of God to me or our children. He thinks he is a Christian. I'm afraid I have finally figured out he isn't one.
A: Here are some guiding helps as you navigate life having found that possibly to be true.
With gambling, do know that there are many believers who haven't been convicted of and just never understood the issue with various sins but God can reveal it through godly people in their lives or their Pastors sermons as he teaches the Word in the pulpit or in Bible Study classes. [*Gambling is addressed in a below resource, as are other sins, to help us grow and mature in our Christian walk].
Wives unequally yoked are told in 1 Peter 3:5-6: "In the same way, you wives must submit yourselves to your own husbands. This way, if some of them do not obey the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see your pure and reverent behavior." (More verses below)
This doesn't mean obeying your husband over what God has said or expects of you as a Christian [including telling you you can't go to church etc]. Obey God. He has to deal with it and too bad if his response is anger or childish sinful behavior. He will get over it- if you remain firm. That includes bringing your kids to church and raising them biblically if he won't do so.
*Acts 5:29: "But Peter and the apostles answered, 'We must obey God rather than men.'"
If you're looking for resources to help you live unequally yoked and with hope of reaching Him, these can help.
1. If he goes to Church, contact the leader of the mens group and ask them to pour into His life in a way that guides him to Christ, true salvation, and helping him be the spiritual leader over the home. Tell the leader, decons and pastors your concerns and ask them to rally around him but not in a totally obvious way, but with the goal of his salvation examination, which can lead to blessing him and his family in Christ, and also the church should he become a man of God. The church lacks godly men being trained up to serve (not necessarily teach but based on if he meets criteria later on its possible in God). Feel free to ask the mens group to do a [self studied & compiled; not some store bought book] study on varied life topics such as gambling, importance or reading Scripture daily, leading the home as Spiritual leaders etc. To help have others address those things, as he will likely listen to them over you; unsavedcmen are like that, they ignore their wives and won't consider the truth they speak and feel it's nagging or hypocritical picking.
Helps for you [resources here] on living godly before him and growing more in holiness so that he sees a definite difference between you and him, and it can get him thinking & draw him to Christ.
2. Additional helps for various as you grow in the faith.
3. Some convos to have to probe about his faith, to try to lead him to Christ (and examine himself if he is open to that).
Verses to meditate on, as you live godly begire him:
Proverbs 13:20: "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."
Ecclesiastes 7:12: "For wisdom is a defense
Matthew 10:16 "Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves."
Spouse Verses:
Colossians 2:6-8 reminds us:
"Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude.See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ."
And these
Titus 2:4-5
4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,
5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
Proverbs 18:22
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 31:10-12
10 An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
Titus 2:4-5
4 ... urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
1 Peter 3:3-4
3 Your adornment must not be merely external... but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
Proverbs 12:4
4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 18:22
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the Lord.
These verses collectively emphasize the value, trustworthiness, and moral character of a godly wife, highlighting her role in supporting and enriching her husband's life.
1 Corinthians 7:12-14
12 ... if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his believing wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
1 Peter 3:1-2
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
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