Young single new mom, stressed and depressed
I have some questions and I need some help. I gave birth 2 weeks ago today. The father isn’t in the picture and the entire pregnancy was traumatic (almost had an abortion too). The birth was also traumatic because I wasn’t allowed to leave hospital 2 weeks after, and now am in a foster placement for 12 weeks because of my mental health, which I don’t think I need as feels to be spiritual warfare.
What I’m now concerned about is the baby; the biological father destroyed my life. I was so content before I met him, and the closest with God I’ve ever been, buy my life has been nothing but pain since. He completely took my off the path I was on. I guess this was partly my choice, but he made me believe he was something he totally wasn’t. Now I have his baby, im on my own, and im depressed more than ever before becsuse I just want to go home.
I was just too naive at the time and thought God had sent him because I had been asking for a husband for so many years… I was wrong and should of listened to the red flags and my gut feelings.
I am concerned the child will be like his father, and also go the way of Satan. The entire situation has caused me so much anxiety already.
I’m not even allowed to go home and all I want is my life back. I’ve been considering adoption because I feel like the experience of having a child taken away by the social services during this, and its all also tainted by my ex. It would be a shame to give him away after everything that’s happened, but I fear the future and what else I’ll have to go through. As sad as it is, I didn’t even want a child but I was scared to abort him because God is against it.
I just feel miserable, and I don’t want any of these issues to affect my child. Maybe he would be happier elsewhere ? I really don't want to give him away, but i don’t know what else to do? Advice?
Edit: I have bonded with my child a lot since the advice request. It’s only been a day or two, but I love him, a lot, and always will. I am worried about social services taking him away because im young. I feel like I would completely fall apart without him. I need him and he needs me. He’s so cute and I'm connected to him. I adore him, all I do is cuddle him. Each day he grows and I learn more about him I see how much I love him. Keep me in prayer as I navigate all of this and this new journey.
A: I am sure unwed mothers in your situation go through a lot of thoughts and concerns, also feelings of inadequacy. But God allowed it and will use it to grow your faith; your sanctification walk, and give you a path, and a purpose in life as you follow Him. God wants us to handle things step by step, so we dont fret. Remember "Today had enough to deal with than worrying about tomorrow" and to "Be still and don't worry about the future" because He is with us.
If you are going to walk with God in the light right now, then also God will be there with you in the future... and will do His promise to you in Psalm 32:8:
"The Lord says, “I will teach you
and guide you in the way you should live.
I will watch over you and be your guide."
The most important right now is to find a way to get out of the sinful depressive mindset, so you can trust God and live biblically. This is also important for the life of the baby, seeing your example in Faith. The depression that always defeat and overwhelms you... has is no exit except to obey 1 John 1:9, and encounter the presence of God who can overcome your situations, all your life questions, and fears, and who can make something good out of bad choices and this fallen world we live in.
You need God and you need to be near Him but you need to obey Scripture, and be right with Him, and be changed for God's glory, in order to be a blessing to your baby.
Also true is there's situations in which we have to grow up and be responsible and accountable for our choices. God is with his children even when they sin, he will walk them through it. And 1. the father has his role and support too, so your not burdened alone. Legally he needs to pay child support and have the child 50% of thd time, unless the courts say otherwise. But 2. If you made decisions in advance & he's not on the birth certificate, it should allow you and opportunity to raise the child alone in Christianity, but forfeit child support. So youll have to work, until you find a godly man to marry.
If the baby's dad is not a truly saved person, don't marry him, dont reconnect etc in any way except (noted in #1) in regards to the child, (as legally required), and even then have someone with you - so he can't try to further prey on you in vulnerability or decieve and lure you into an unequally yoked situation.
Now -Seek help at your local church where you are a member, for help, guidance, counsel, resources etc and community in the faith, as you begin this single mom journey.
That precious baby is an image-bearer of God, dearly loved by Him. So it is right that you didnt abort, and you feared God enough not to do that. But know your child is here because God allowed it & wants that himan in the world. So even though you sinned, God will work things out. He knew you were the right person for the job of raising this child. God creates and sends each child into the world; a human he has plans for their life. Your job is to raise up the child in the Lord and send them into the world to serve God. So get your life sorted out so you can live holy and walk on the righteous path, to be the example for your child.
You went thru what you went thru around this due to natural consequences of fornication and choosing to be unequally yoked to someone against God's command, and who wasnt even qualified as a suitor. Dont make that mistake again. Dont date, court or marry anyone not biblically qualified. Focus on your child, and maturing in the Faith, (and then at the right time you'll be ready to begin considering vetted godly guys for the husband and father role of a lifetime.)
Hope this can help as you move foreword. If your born again, God is with you and will lead your through the hard times. Stay close to Him through Scripture (daily) & prayer, ...and of course find Christian friends and get support in your Christian church family. It is rewarding and a blessing to have and raise a kid, even when you hit times of fatigue and struggle. It is worth it in the end to have invested your life into them. Gid will bless and reward you for that. Between Christlike and do your best to be the best mom you can be. 😊✨️
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God bless! ✝️
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