A bad ex ran off married, divorced & now wants to come back
Q: I’m a single mom trying to figure things out. I never intended to be a single mom, yet here I am. While figuring things out, I met a guy who is now my ex, who was great in the beginning, but it was short lived. Quick explanation, he became mean and verbally lashed out at me while throwing my single motherhood in my face. We broke up mainly because of his verbally abusive ways, two years ago. He tried to win me back 6 months later, but then when I hesitated & told him it would take some time for me to trust him again... he ran off and married the woman he would say “was desperate to be with him, because she was still in love with him”. It hurt my feelings but I moved on.
Now hes trying to come back and I still have some resentment but im torn between trying to make it work, since he seems hes changed,... or running for the hills. Hes been persistent the last three months and wants to come see us but something about that disrupts my spirit.
I’m stronger in my faith since I had my son and I take my gut insticts and a sign that I’m not meant to do what Im thinking of doing. He wanted to come see us this weekend, but I dont want him around my son at all.
I have a feeling I know I should run for the hills but sometimes I need to hear it for someone else.
A: Avoid him. Stay far away. He married and is either trying adultery with you, or divorced and trying to make you adulterous before God for being with a divorced man. Besides, God wants you with a mature, godly truly saved man who lives holy and will lead your family and lead spiritually. That man is not the one sis. You want the best not the worst choice.
If that is his son, which it might not be, do not get trapped thinking cuz hes the kids father that you should marry. That's one of Satans biggest lies. Yes you fornicated and had a child as a consequence of sex. But do not rebelliously be unequally yoked to him! Not in dating, friendship or marriage. Avoid him. Totally cut him out of your life.
If its his kid, Yes he has legal right to child visitations, but if you live far away or in another state, he won't have access to the child. But if your near family and he knows them or where they live, he has access to be around the child. But also he has to pay child support. My only stressed point about child visitation is... do not let him come to your home and you don't go to his. The child needs to be picked up and dropped off at a neutral location, even if its at the neighbors, or the nearby "public" street corner. Never let him be alone with you anywhere, so he can't try to prey on you and get you into more fornication situations due to weakness. Avoid those and any contact that has 0 to do with child visitation, holiday arrangements by email/text, and child support. Tbvh deal w all child support thru the courts and your lawyer. Avoid giving him room for any of his manipulation games.
If its not his son, you dodged a bullet. Live holy going forward. Only date men qualified to be a suitor. If they don't meet the bare basics, stay away from them. But I pray you want someone more qualified than one with the lowest qualifications 🙃. 👍
God bless
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