Baby's father kicked us out, should I pursue a relationship with him?
Q: I am uncertain about how to proceed and need guidance. I am unsure whether I should continue to pursue my ex-boyfriend. His behavior was unacceptable; ejected me and our newborn from our home. I desire to maintain a unified family, but its leading me to question whether God intends for us to be together.
A: He's not husband material. No nope nopity nope. Never reconnect to him for any kind of relationship.
Be grateful to God that You dodged a bullet. Or rather, didn't get chained to such a person for life!
The devil dupes women to think they need to marry the person they had a kid with, when fornication is a one time thing, but where as chaining yourself to Satan's child for life as a wife is a life ruining trap. It's a wrong and unfortunate deceptive mindset. God has said NOT to marry unequally yoked, so it wasn't God's plans for you to be with him at all; from the beginning. Usually the woman compromises to her peril; feels she can't do it alone, fears finance concerns, and other stuff that come w the consequences of this kind of situation/ ins. Without any solid consel around her they stupudly "shotgun" a wedding and marry to hide their deeds to try to legitimatize it. Its not to be that way. Do not pursue him. Go the right way instead.
Its hard to be a single mom but it's part of the consequences of fornication and not seeking/marrying a godly man. God can wirk through those things. But also you are not alone in this. The dad has responsibilities! He needs to have his time caring for the child, (paying it's needs while in his care), and child support [ absolutely immediately get that settled now via courts].
Move home or to a shelter, and get into the church for community, holy living, counsel and other benefits for believers (and your child).
The father has to be in the child's life, even at infancy, but never pickup/drop off the child at your homes or anywhere private! He will use it as a chance to sexually prey on you again, to lure you and continue to decieve you continually. Avoid fornication sins. Only meet in public, and if necessary at your neighbors place.
If he has 0 interest in the child, have that in writing in the court system [take care of this immediately] so he refuses time with the child, but is still required to pay child support, college help, health insurance etc. If he doesn't want child visitations, have the court make that permanent so he can't Weasley his way back in when the child is older after neglecting the child all this time. But is financially still liable to provide.
Then, go live for God, grow in the faith, and find a godly Saved man, who can be a good father and godly influence on the child. Grow in your faith now, so your ready for him when God brings him to you.
Look into welfare or finding a job and having skmeone in your family or at church (retired) help watch the baby wile you work. Hopefully your family takes you in, or helps you find a place to live, if not start at a shelter for unwed moms, And go find a bible focused church (not associated with that place), and immediately yourself into the church community. They'll help you, the baby, and love in yall. They'll be there to help you thru hard times, and guide you in the faith.
God will get with you. Trust Him, stay close to God, and the Scriptures. Your child will be 4 or 5 before you know it, and you won't have to struggle with a baby for too long, he'll be able to walk, dress himself and etc. and be a bit of a help to do things you normally would do.
Also below are some Parent resources and some resources to help you grow in the faith too, that you can familiarize yourself with, so they can benefit you going forward.
If by chance the father threw you out and isn't providing any assistance, and the baby is under 2, ask the church what crisis pregnancy center they're affiliated with, and then go there to also see if they can help you a bit. They usually provide baby stuff and formula until age 2. So that may be a little help so you stress less about a few needs. But after you start going to the church, find out from the Sunday school teacher and women's group leader, and pastors wife, if the church members can bless/help you with specific needs, for right now, and guidance to the single moms group.
*You can also find out if there are any godly men here they know who are looking to marry and want kids, even if by adoption or that aren't theirs. There are men who have no problem marrying with an infant or young child, cuz they want kids regardless if it's biologically theirs. If so, court a few and find out which would be best for you and marry him. He will provide a covering for you, care for you, be blessed by God for taking you in and living you both. And spiritually leading the home too. Once you find one whose biblically acceptable, have the pastor do pre marriage counseling, and join a new marrieds class and new parents class too. It will really help you both.
God bless
*Feel free to bookmark this page so you can go through these materials regularly.
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