New believer but bf skeptic science focused & thinks fornication is fine if we marry
Q: I’m 22. I have a bf of almost 2 years.. last year I devoted myself to Christ and became Christian. I won’t sit here and act like I’ve been perfect since then.
My boyfriend isn’t Christian but he still believes God is good and he has a plan and he believes some stuff, but is still skeptical bc he’s a ‘science ‘ kind of guy when it comes to biblical things. Also I know I shouldn’t be fornicating/intimate before marriage. I know as it's in the Bible. But he says that because we plan to get married it’s okay. We have found eachother and love eachother a lot and we will spend the rest of our lives together so to him he dosent see it as an issue to say. He said back then people could just profess their love to God and be married and his eyes. Today’s marriage and back then are diffrent. We can be married in the eyes of God even tho we aren’t married in the eyes of the government yet… and I agreed bc yea? I guess?…. But idk.. idk how to feel.. I want to do things to sometimes so it’s not all on him. But I feel like I still shouldn’t be having sex before marriage… I don’t know how to ask God to forgive me and help me… if I’m just going to end up doing it again… I really need advice : (
A: God has been very clear believers cannot be unequally yoked to unbelievers. Its open rebellion to God to be doing that, and also a crime against Him and your body to fornicate. You're in a place outside God's will and need to both examine your salvation & repent and do the right thing in holy living. That doesn't include marrying him.
He's decieving you with false worldly sinful beliefs so he continues to benefit from the sins he loves; sex. He's living in darkness not light, and trying to get you to believe those subtle doctrines of demons. Another one is the false understanding of marriage. In fact ceremonies were done and required in Bible times, were a long celebration where the ones getting married paid for the entire town to come celebrate for 7 days, (and not doing so led to legally acceptable & expected lawsuits). They were married by the lead representative, the rabbi or the Pastor. Even Rome had its marriage laws. Your bf is lying so he can still get what he in his sin nature wants; Freedom to sin, sex unrestricted by God's design and command, not wanting to be accountable or responsible to Him. The blind know no better because they only always continually sin and flee from God. Not so with believers, so you need to pray to God and repent, and start living rightly. If that means losing that relationship, so be it.
I will note that you can address his unbelief and pray God saves him, but you need to move out if living together, and you need to watch him over time to see if any profession he makes genuinely shows Fruit proof of true conversion. Many false converts don't show themselves as such for 3 yrs or so. So be very patient and wary. But if he rejects obeying the Gospel when you have a Christian convo with him, cut that relationship off and only go the way of righteousness on your own. God will bring a godly man to you, at the right time. This can help you have a Gospel convo with him. The atheist section has faq you can use to address his objections, including science excuses. If he rejects the Gospel then you need to have a clean break, and go follow God in righteousness.
Dating tips and helps here too, for finding a godly man, and what Christian dating should look like
If he gets saved, you both go to a church, join there, are active, are doing Sunday school, new believers discipleship class, in couples fellowship, and at your own homes are daily reading Scripture, praying, and can see growth in holiness, and hes in the mens group and being discipled on responsibilities of godly living, being the leader in the home as head and spiritual leader, understanding how he is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church; as a sacrificing, selfless servant, communicating and leading in love, and would protect his wife & family. If you see him truly growing in the Fruit of the Spirit, and the godly men and leaders at church see it. If he's forming deeper friendships with the brethren there, outside the church, and has put his unsaved friends on the back burner... then it's likely he's truly saved and you can then proceed with doing pre marriage classes under the Pastor.
Here's more Resources for you both to grow in the Faith, some studies you can do together, (and resources for married couples are also there, along with individual growth resources for men and women).
In pray you choose the righteous path, and not the rebellious one that leads to destruction.
May God be with you.
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