Post Abortive Counsel
Q: My bf and I have had abortions. I am worried... Can I be forgiven?
It really concerns me. 🙁🥺
A: There's a few areas to address here. It's all said in love and with intention to help you. ❤️
Regarding Abortion:
You choose to kill unborn babies with selfish motivation instead of going the adoptive route. There's troubling matters here to work through, and will answer your most pressing question too.
I would say it isn't an issue of if God would forgive you if your professing to be saved, but are you actually saved. Paul the murderer was saved and then stopped sinning such grievous sins. Believers mess up but it seems murder wouldn't be godly behavior. Contemplate this matter a bit, Scripture says:
Romans 1:29 - "They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips."
Revelation 21:8 - "But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death."
But note this points to those unsaved who live in sin.
It would cause serious doubt on someone's salvation if they did such a thing and continue to do so. Christians don't live like those in the world, yet some might not have understood that issue well as a young person just coming out of darkness. [Christians are people of love by nature (and not hatred & murderer)]. Some don't grasp what they're doing. But by their new nature in Christ & the indwelling Holy Spirit will convict you it's a sin you shouldn't do. If your flippant it's a big concern. So it depends, but if you do it thinking others claiming to be Christian do it, doesn't mean God allows it. So it's an excuse your making to rationalize it so you can do what you want. Thats outright rebellion if you claim to be saved. Murder can't be undone nor seek that person out for forgiveness of the sin committed. They no longer exist in this life. But ultimately and first mostly all sin committed is against God.
It's another reason being a member of a solid bible focused church is vital, 1 cuz its biblical to be there and 2 as you can and are to get godly counsel there. If you avoid doing that to have abortion vs adoption while claiming to be saved, there's high questionability to both your salvation. Believers don't sneak around to hid sins, they seek to avoid committing them.
Self Examination, Grasping God & Gospel:
It's good God forgives all [but 1 sin], and important that believers come alongside to educate and guide, and to call you (both) to self examine if your saved.
Committing Abortion also shows a lack of understanding about God, holiness and sin, which you both def need to study.
Understanding God's Glory & Holiness
Understanding Believers & sin
Just make sure your saved, truly contritiously repentant and won't ever do it again.
The Bible speaks about this sensitive topic, and how God is unashamedly pro-life from Genesis through Revelation. Understand that this is a spiritual war; there are demonic influences at play in the incredibly important battle for the unborn.
Seeking Counsel:
If you have more questions I recommend talking to your Pastor, and if you aren't a member at a local Bible church, you need to do that immediately. The leaders are gifts from God to shepherd your soul and lead you into maturity of faith, and holy living. Theyll help disciple you and help you grow in the faith.
And for more godly counsel I recommend going to a professional Biblical Counselor who can help you thru this.
There are good post abortive resources here at the bottom, that can help you with forgiveness and living in Christ.
A: There's a few areas to address here. It's all said in love and with intention to help you. ❤️
Regarding Abortion:
You choose to kill unborn babies with selfish motivation instead of going the adoptive route. There's troubling matters here to work through, and will answer your most pressing question too.
I would say it isn't an issue of if God would forgive you if your professing to be saved, but are you actually saved. Paul the murderer was saved and then stopped sinning such grievous sins. Believers mess up but it seems murder wouldn't be godly behavior. Contemplate this matter a bit, Scripture says:
Romans 1:29 - "They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips."
Revelation 21:8 - "But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death."
But note this points to those unsaved who live in sin.
It would cause serious doubt on someone's salvation if they did such a thing and continue to do so. Christians don't live like those in the world, yet some might not have understood that issue well as a young person just coming out of darkness. [Christians are people of love by nature (and not hatred & murderer)]. Some don't grasp what they're doing. But by their new nature in Christ & the indwelling Holy Spirit will convict you it's a sin you shouldn't do. If your flippant it's a big concern. So it depends, but if you do it thinking others claiming to be Christian do it, doesn't mean God allows it. So it's an excuse your making to rationalize it so you can do what you want. Thats outright rebellion if you claim to be saved. Murder can't be undone nor seek that person out for forgiveness of the sin committed. They no longer exist in this life. But ultimately and first mostly all sin committed is against God.
It's another reason being a member of a solid bible focused church is vital, 1 cuz its biblical to be there and 2 as you can and are to get godly counsel there. If you avoid doing that to have abortion vs adoption while claiming to be saved, there's high questionability to both your salvation. Believers don't sneak around to hid sins, they seek to avoid committing them.
Self Examination, Grasping God & Gospel:
It's good God forgives all [but 1 sin], and important that believers come alongside to educate and guide, and to call you (both) to self examine if your saved.
Committing Abortion also shows a lack of understanding about God, holiness and sin, which you both def need to study.
Understanding God's Glory & Holiness
Understanding Believers & sin
Just make sure your saved, truly contritiously repentant and won't ever do it again.
The Bible speaks about this sensitive topic, and how God is unashamedly pro-life from Genesis through Revelation. Understand that this is a spiritual war; there are demonic influences at play in the incredibly important battle for the unborn.
Seeking Counsel:
If you have more questions I recommend talking to your Pastor, and if you aren't a member at a local Bible church, you need to do that immediately. The leaders are gifts from God to shepherd your soul and lead you into maturity of faith, and holy living. Theyll help disciple you and help you grow in the faith.
And for more godly counsel I recommend going to a professional Biblical Counselor who can help you thru this.
There are good post abortive resources here at the bottom, that can help you with forgiveness and living in Christ.
Finding peace with your past
If you're saved, remember, Jesus paid for all your past, current and future sins.😊 Theyre all forgiven. BUT we arent to run out and sin just "cuz God will forgive us". A right mindset on sin is important. And we love God so we dont want to sin. For the believer, sin seperates our daily fellowship with God (not our salvation), so do pray and seek forgiveness, to restore the fellowship, 🫂. And seek to live Holy. Keeping short sin accounts, whatever it is, is vital to livung out a right relationship with God.
Killing Sin & Pursuing Holy Relationships:
As to your relationship, idk if he is actually saved, but men do struggle with sexual sin and self control but need to be doing all they can to ensure sexual purity before marriage. He needs godly mature men at church to counsel, guide, disciple and as accountability partners to ensure he is abstinent till marriage, and is growing into maturity in the faith to be a man if God, and properly discipled also to be a leader over the home and spiritual leader. He needs to kill all his sins to be like Christ as head of home and priest over the family. Relationships and marriage are not emotions based/focused nor about modern sin-culture views of love. It's self sacrificing, servant focused, and about sanctification. But also about Christ being at the center of it 247 365, and both living submitted to God. United as One, & eternally focused.
If hes not actually saved you cannot date him as he's not even a basic qualified suitor. We cannot be unequally yoked to an unbeliever.
If saved, put boundaries in place so you avoid sexual temptations. Never be alone together, never go to each other's residences, nor overnight trips, nor anything that married people are free to do or go. Your interviewing him for a role of a lifetime (as head & lead over you).
Dating Courting resources is a comprehensive look at what you should understand and how you should go about relationships, and understand their purpose. So you can live within biblical boundaries and with intention.
Everything provided here was meant to go through all to educate, guide, and help you pursue godly goals and purposes. If you examine it all you can be prepared well for dating, courting and marriage. I hope you will prayerfully, intentionally go through it, seeking to be educated & to discern well as you live out the Faith in a way that pleases God.
Hope these help as you move forward.
Prayers
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