Spousal fights, criticism, submitting, unequally yoked
Q: How do you handle mean comments or criticism from a spouse? I don't want to be sensitive or overly emotional. But I just can't help but feel like I'm not enough, like I'm such a failure. He changed so much after we married. He's not the nicest person. And he criticizes everything I do. I never hear a compliment. He never tries to make me feel good about my self. Everything is always my fault. If I tell him I have a headache, it's my fault. If the kids get sick it's my fault. If he gets sick it's my fault. He makes me feel like I'm a child and not his wife. I constantly feel like I'm the stupidest person on the planet. I'm just tired of feeling this way. It's been almost 12 years. I wonder sometimes why God put me on this planet if I'm such a failure of a person.
A: Are you unequally yoked or is he s believer? Is there validity in his criticisms that God may be bringing to your attention to help you mature in the faith, conquer sins and help you be a better light in the home? Are you staying & getting closer to God more snd more, and growing holy by faithfully reading Scripture daily and in prayer with God?
Your husband's inaccurate criticism reflects him and not you. Its actually his problem, its not about your worth but his own inner issues. But where it is valid, let God use it to prune, mold and grow you into maturity in the Faith.
Is the criticism based on your fleshly sins such as trying to usurp the husbands role as leader over the home? Then work in the area of submitting, and don't nit pick or fight dying battlescon hills that dont matter
The call to husbands to correct your wife
(Link needed. John Piper)
Husband provide spiritual protection for your wife (saved; equally yoked)
If unequally yoked it will be a never ending spiritual battle, and your kids will see how you handle it, so do your best daily. Wear the armor of God and be a faithful maturing believer.
Hope this helps
Verses to meditate on:
Proverbs 13:20: "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."
Ecclesiastes 7:12: "For wisdom is a defense
Matthew 10:16 "Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves."
Spouse Verses:
Colossians 2:6-8 reminds us:
"Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude.See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ."
And these
Titus 2:4-5
4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,
5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
Proverbs 18:22
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 31:10-12
10 An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
Titus 2:4-5
4 ... urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
1 Peter 3:3-4
3 Your adornment must not be merely external... but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
Proverbs 12:4
4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 18:22
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the Lord.
These verses collectively emphasize the value, trustworthiness, and moral character of a godly wife, highlighting her role in supporting and enriching her husband's life.
1 Corinthians 7:12-14
12 ... if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his believing wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
1 Peter 3:1-2
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
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