Husband doesnt help even while injured & communication conflict problems
Q: Can you please advise for my situation.
I tore ligaments in my foot I am in a boot and using crutches. I babysit all day yesterday come home to do 2 loads of laundry, I kept on getting up to reset the washer because we have to do that with the washer. Struggling to carrying the clothes to put them away (we have a 1 story level). I was getting really frustrated because my husband was texting me saying I was "ignoring him", so I told him "I was busy doing and struggling and you are just lying on the couch don’t even bother to help and I know you work all day, but I work nonstop". So yes I am mad, I was having a rough day I told him everything was going wrong. Then he left to go somewhere I told him "if you wanted to me to pay attention and spend time with you shouldn’t left". I am trying so hard to communicate with him, and of course I have been sticking up for myself that I am not going to put up with it.
He has mental issues like severe depression and anxiety, and I have Bi-Polar, Anxiety and Depression.
Appreciate godly guidance on this.
A: I would've discussed at the Dr office or day he came hkme,on how he can help you at home during this season of disability. I would ask him to help with doing the laundry and dishes, and maybe help prep or cook the food. You should probably be off your feet mostly for now too. And show thankful heart and kind words during this time too. Showing your appreciation. He should in s perfect world do all these things and without seeking praise, but were in a Fallen world. So, its nice to comment positive to him so he feels what he's doing is successful. Men crave respect and success(1). And desire peace (2) at home.
He has mental issues like severe depression and anxiety, and I have Bi-Polar, Anxiety and Depression.
Appreciate godly guidance on this.
A: I would've discussed at the Dr office or day he came hkme,on how he can help you at home during this season of disability. I would ask him to help with doing the laundry and dishes, and maybe help prep or cook the food. You should probably be off your feet mostly for now too. And show thankful heart and kind words during this time too. Showing your appreciation. He should in s perfect world do all these things and without seeking praise, but were in a Fallen world. So, its nice to comment positive to him so he feels what he's doing is successful. Men crave respect and success(1). And desire peace (2) at home.
How does he usually treat you? Is he a professing believer? If so yall should get into biblical counseling for marriage counseling. Hes not living as the helpful and sacrificial servant husband being Christlike. He should be looking actively for ways to help his wife. And growing in that area, submitting to God by the Word, and living out his leadership role in the home.
*If hes not saved, try to get him into marriage counseling anyway. Just call it counseling, no need to say its Christian.
How do you usually treat him? You need to likewise show love even when hurt, remembering Jesus was constantly treated badly and he didn't revile to retaliate or behave sinfully to those who mistreated Him. This can help in that area.
Overall it sounds like communication and also conflict resolution issues need resolving, so your both on the same page, and have a game plan. And today many lack soft skills and are oblivious to others struggles and needs (living in their own little world to themselves). But in combination with how you treat him or respond is in direct situation with how things go from there. 0-60 or breaking for a pause and change of course towards peace and love. Counseling will definitely help both of you. 😊
Pick a good day with a "good time" for "timing" to get his buy-in "to go" to marriage counseling together. If he refuses to go, then you go yourself, even if by zoom. Theyll guide you, and it can help bring peace in you, and possibly (even) that can cause him to change too. Find a male counselor for yall so he can speak to your husband, and if unsaved, theyll address that for you. Hes more likely to listen to a man.
For questions about Biblical counseling the faq area here can help too
Also these on the areas you noted the worldly therapists or doctors diagnosed you with, froma biblical Christian worldview these can be a help to you.
Resources for Women & Unequally yoked marriages
God bless
*If hes not saved, try to get him into marriage counseling anyway. Just call it counseling, no need to say its Christian.
How do you usually treat him? You need to likewise show love even when hurt, remembering Jesus was constantly treated badly and he didn't revile to retaliate or behave sinfully to those who mistreated Him. This can help in that area.
Overall it sounds like communication and also conflict resolution issues need resolving, so your both on the same page, and have a game plan. And today many lack soft skills and are oblivious to others struggles and needs (living in their own little world to themselves). But in combination with how you treat him or respond is in direct situation with how things go from there. 0-60 or breaking for a pause and change of course towards peace and love. Counseling will definitely help both of you. 😊
Pick a good day with a "good time" for "timing" to get his buy-in "to go" to marriage counseling together. If he refuses to go, then you go yourself, even if by zoom. Theyll guide you, and it can help bring peace in you, and possibly (even) that can cause him to change too. Find a male counselor for yall so he can speak to your husband, and if unsaved, theyll address that for you. Hes more likely to listen to a man.
For questions about Biblical counseling the faq area here can help too
Also these on the areas you noted the worldly therapists or doctors diagnosed you with, froma biblical Christian worldview these can be a help to you.
Resources for Women & Unequally yoked marriages
God bless
Footnote:
(1) Women seek security, men seek success
Discussed here at @11:08 onwards a bit
(3) bonus: 3 habits to be more connected
* Bookmark this page to go through the contents and resources herevin the coming days and weeks.
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