Left cuz of church hurt & burn out, and now live in sin
Q: I need some advice about my current situation.
But, I'll help how I can, as I guide you to contact a counselor. It appears yes you chose and went into a life of sin, instead of just going to a new church [I say that as its possible you were in a false church, and if so, no attempts to correct the issues would happen there to biblical resolution.]
And, note, as a "believer" you are to *follow Jesus* not to be busy till burnt out thinking that makes you right with God. Your endless serving has nothing to do with you following Jesus (in that way), and likely wernt doing it for the Lord but the church, or self worth/attention, idk. But throwing church or God away cuz someone hurt you or you git burned out... isnt the right response. And that's my point here.
I can say you sound like you were in a wonky or bad church if your afraid of leaving and equate that to fear of dying and not having God's covering.
Jesus is your covering. A good biblical church has pastors and leaders that shepherd you all into holy living. Growing in the Faith and helping you conquer your sins. Instead you left and dove headfirst into sin - and are still there. God wont bless that, and in fact ...it's a good time to do what Scripture says, examine yourself to see if your not saved... and get that addressed immediately- cuz if you aren't saved, and do die, you'll be in your sins and Hell bound. Saying this in love cuz there's many false converts in the church, and Jesus warned about it, and the soil parable shows some how sprout up but leave "as they weren't of us".
Once you get that salvation issue settled, then understand more about God and church, and living a life pursuing holiness as you follow Jesus.
As to also the point about unjustly judging and hating God, you need to repent of that to Him too. Gid doesnt wrong us. Flawed, fallen and growing believers in church, and the false converts there masqurading as Christian, will both let you down (some unintentionally, others in the latter camp do so intentional). Scripture calls us to go to each other and lovingly confront (by discussing) the sin committed. All sin primarily committed against God, even as it's done human to human. Believers are to imitate and be like Christ, our example we are to pursue in holiness. That means lovingly addressing it, calling each other to repentance, restoration, and continued fellowship. And pursuing church discipline to escalate it, with the intent of them correcting and pursuing holiness. This is one area shepherds at chuch guide and call the church body to rally around the sinner, to guide us to live right before God. It is loving and a blessing.
For three years, I was heavily involved in a church. Constantly serving, lived in a discipleship home, at every single service, etc… I don’t want to get into details, but I was very burnt out, and a lot of the people I looked to as leaders had hurt me deeply.
I made the decision to leave & move across the country with the help of my (now) boyfriend, who I’ve known as a good friend for years.
I will admit, it hurt a lot to walk away from the life I had built there, but I was drowning.
I was constantly told that if I left the church, I would be “leaving the covering”, and that I could die.
The last person I talked to before I left, one of my leaders, had told me she hopes God convicts me, and that I repent before the enemy takes me.
A lot of people that I considered extremely close friends in the church never reached out to me after I left, and it made me question if anyone ever really cared for me.
I now live with my boyfriend in a beautiful house that we rent, and have a great high paying stable job.
However, I feel like I’ve strayed from God.
I used to pray every day, and now I just feel, angry at Him, I guess?
I started smoking and drinking, and of course, I live with my boyfriend, outside of marriage.
I am so frustrated, because I gave so much of my myself to that church and to my “friends”, and to just be tossed aside and forgotten about the moment I decided to leave, it hurts.
My relationship with God feels fractured, I don’t even know what to pray or read about anymore.
I guess my question is, how do I get past this? How to overcome it?
A: I feel you need a biblical counselor. There's way too much to unravel here without talking for an hour, to guide about.
But, I'll help how I can, as I guide you to contact a counselor. It appears yes you chose and went into a life of sin, instead of just going to a new church [I say that as its possible you were in a false church, and if so, no attempts to correct the issues would happen there to biblical resolution.]
And, note, as a "believer" you are to *follow Jesus* not to be busy till burnt out thinking that makes you right with God. Your endless serving has nothing to do with you following Jesus (in that way), and likely wernt doing it for the Lord but the church, or self worth/attention, idk. But throwing church or God away cuz someone hurt you or you git burned out... isnt the right response. And that's my point here.
I can say you sound like you were in a wonky or bad church if your afraid of leaving and equate that to fear of dying and not having God's covering.
Jesus is your covering. A good biblical church has pastors and leaders that shepherd you all into holy living. Growing in the Faith and helping you conquer your sins. Instead you left and dove headfirst into sin - and are still there. God wont bless that, and in fact ...it's a good time to do what Scripture says, examine yourself to see if your not saved... and get that addressed immediately- cuz if you aren't saved, and do die, you'll be in your sins and Hell bound. Saying this in love cuz there's many false converts in the church, and Jesus warned about it, and the soil parable shows some how sprout up but leave "as they weren't of us".
Once you get that salvation issue settled, then understand more about God and church, and living a life pursuing holiness as you follow Jesus.
As to also the point about unjustly judging and hating God, you need to repent of that to Him too. Gid doesnt wrong us. Flawed, fallen and growing believers in church, and the false converts there masqurading as Christian, will both let you down (some unintentionally, others in the latter camp do so intentional). Scripture calls us to go to each other and lovingly confront (by discussing) the sin committed. All sin primarily committed against God, even as it's done human to human. Believers are to imitate and be like Christ, our example we are to pursue in holiness. That means lovingly addressing it, calling each other to repentance, restoration, and continued fellowship. And pursuing church discipline to escalate it, with the intent of them correcting and pursuing holiness. This is one area shepherds at chuch guide and call the church body to rally around the sinner, to guide us to live right before God. It is loving and a blessing.
Related Resources to help:
This has helps around, pride, anger, bitterness, discontentment, stress, emotions, smoking, drinking, fornication, selecting peace & encouragement
Info on Church Matters for further topics, and dealing with conflict among the brethren. And know that you need to plan and prioritize and reprioritize your time and what you take on, so you dont get burnt out. Jesus even went away for time to recuperate. Follow His example.
*You cant live together even if he professes Christ. You need to move out, even if you have kids. Then watch his growth at church a few years, and irl, to ensure he's showing true fruit of one saved, and is not a false convert. If he passes that examination period, and is a man of God, pursuing a life of holiness, and clearly radically transformed, then marry him. If not, or he rejects Christ's Gospel... leave him and dont look back.
These resources for new and growing believers will help you as you follow Christ.
*Follow Jesus*. Not the church or its people. What I mean is Jesus is whom we came to - to be saved, and He is whom we serve.
Others will let you down. Their failures are not why one should leave a church. Jesus doesn't fail us. People might. So...If youre saved, follow Christ.
But also, your new nature in Christ should be one of love, grace, patience and forgiveness, [as God was towards us in our sins before we got saved], and to be growing in that Fruit more, into maturity. So we can handle life issues and relationship problems [inside & outside the church] in the way that pleases God and reflects Christ.
God bless
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