Seeking a godly man who respects no kissing & is pursuing holiness

Q: Dating someone who professes to be a Christian, but is not really practicing. How to share with them your decision to remain purity focused/ abstinent, and not kiss before marriage?

I’m honestly a bit scared about how someone might react to that. I’ve met practicing Christian men who weren’t ready to go that far, but I’ve also met other Christians who actually respected and shared that conviction. The “no kissing” part is usually the hardest to explain, because I know many Christians who are fine with kissing before marriage. Personally, I’ve chosen not to, for several reasons that are important to me.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth giving a chance to someone who isn’t fully practicing but still believes in God, and just being upfront that there won’t be sex or kissing until marriage. But I also believe that real love transcends everything and that if someone truly loves me, they’ll understand and respect that. 

Advice?

A: His answer tells you if hes not the one. There's nothing to fear, since in truth youre not losing out. 

There's an est 30 million true Christian men in the US who are single, and all of them, while growing in the Faith and actively pursuing holiness...are in fact all looking to marry a godly woman. God will connect you to one. 

If he is a godly man he IS pursuing purity and self control, to live a holy life.

There is no such thing as "non practicing" Christian. If theyre born again by God, He has totally transformed them into a new creation. False converts are everywhere, as are folk claiming to be Christian but are in false churches and cults. 

I would consider a couple of things here, as you move forward. 

●1. He's not more spiritually mature than you, to be the right spiritual leader in the home, since he (even if he genuinely gets saved) isnt "more mature" in the Faith. You cant go to him as Scripture says, to "ask questions to your husband". He needs to be at a higher level of biblical understanding and living a more godly walk than you, to be your appropriate lead-guide.

●2. You can still have a daytime meet up (in a public place) to probe his salvation, and share the Gospel. Even if the relationship didn't proceed. No, girlfriends arent to try to be unequally yoked & do a relationship evangelism, and yes, it is far better to leave such people in the hands of godly men at your church to do that, (who can then disciple him if he gets saved). But... since youre not really dating nor pursuing him you could leave him with Gospel truths, and call him out of lukewarmness and to embrace the true Gospel. Leave the rest to God. 

●3. Meet up in public and probe his faith beliefs, get him thinking. Ask him solid questions. 

You can find some here and here that fit this situation, (from point 2 &3). And def note your boundaries. You're likely not going to continue this relationship, but can set him off with things to think about for his life, and encourage him to self examine and go the righteous path. 

Just be bold and have genuine convos. You have nothing to lose 😊. Just think of it as evangelizing. Then go your seperate ways. 

Also the dating resource is a good one in general for you to go through, to help you find a godly suitor. Don't settle... God wants to bless your life & marriage. 

Also, you dont need to go too far in these proving questions with dude. You'll see where he is, if hes open or closed to discuss such things. Just talk about what you can and leave him to God. 

God bless