CounselingChristians

Q: My husband and I were in a fornication relationship for years. I got right with God and he claimed to. We got married and things started back to how they were (problems on his end) before we married. I feel deceived what do i do? 😭 A: I am sorry to hear this happened, many end up like this because of bad advice or rebelliously go ahead with marriage just to be together vs obedient to God. It can be due to immaturity in faith, failure of the church being actively in your life, etc.  It is usually best to wait 4 to 7 years before marrying someone in that kind of situation. He likely "played religious" (as many men do to prevent their good thing spoiling for themselves - from whatever they were getting out of the relationship) for a time, even trapping in marriage. The pastor should've suggested or directed to wait a few years.... to 1. Have him go through a discipleship essentials for new believers course, be part of the mens group, have mature godly men in his life ...

Q: My young 9 year old brother was caught watching porn. We had a family meeting about it, and he was there. The parents argued. How can we/I help my brother, with this issue?  A: This is a growing issue in families today. It has been called the New Drug.  It can cause arguments among parents if both or one are not true born again believers.They should have a united front and discussed it before the sit down. There might be a "personal moralism vs righteousness" problem, if one isnt saved but they need to address this issue.  Your brother obv understands this is a big issue (since the adults argued at the intervention meeting), but hopefully, at minimum, it scared him off from ever looking at those things again. Boys with free access to devices and computers, [(as well as their friends and at school) & if lgbt cult infiltrated his school], will now be looking at this stuff by age 10.  So by age 9 there should be convos in a Christian home from a health & body...

Should we divorce? When did you know to leave? I’ve been married for 10 years. We’re in our early 30'. We have had a very hard marriage with more bad than good seasons. We’ve been through so much (cheating, alcoholism, polygamy, and abuse) that we aren’t friends. We’re coparenting roommates. All of this was before I gave my life to Jesus and started living for Christ. Everything about me radically changed. But my husband has stayed the same. He has intentionally sought out other woman to hurt me (his words) because our bedroom activities have changed. We still are intimate but I’ve drawn the line when he is drunk. He drinks every night and has gotten physical with me when I say no (to intimacy at night because of how drunk he is and has hurt me at times). I am suspicious that he is on social media, snapchatting or texting other women but I’m also at the point where I do not care. He does not have a relationship with Christ. He says he prays but he doesn’t go to church, doesn’...

Q: I’m African in Africa... and a currently seperated from my husband (on our way to divorce) and I am dating another man (who is in a similar situation as myself but still lives with his wife in the same house but different rooms). No man has treated me better or has been half as thoughtful as this new man has. Even though his marriage is so bad, divorce is not an option for him right now, because of certain circumstances. I have been praying a lot and I’m starting to think maybe I should go ahead and marry him "as a second wife". This is something we have both talked about. Our culture allows multiple wives. This man will make a fine fatherly example for my son and I deeeply love him and he has gone above and beyond to proof to me that he feels the same way in many different situations. What should we do? What should be considered? How do we know if is it God's will that we marry? A: There are variables here that need addressing to counsel you on this matter.  ...

Q: I have a hardcore atheist husband who doesn’t want his children raised in the church. I married him knowing he wasnt a believer, but... I really want out of this marriage. I just don’t see a fruitful future. We dont have kids yet, & cant see having them with him. I am concerned about that and being stuck with him long term.  Can I divorce him?  A: Decisions have consequences. You chose to marry him knowingly in rebellion to God and the command not to be unequally yoked. You cant expect blessings by doing something like that. You couldve ran at the alter, and saved your life. Now, you are in the marriage so you have to stay 🤷🏻‍♂️. You are stuck. Marriage covenants are for life. *This is a 80 year decision and isn't to be be made lightly, no marriage plans should proceed without the green light by your Pastor.  Too many believers do not go get godly counsel from their Pastor, and, do not go through a couples class at church (where the believer would be be clearly ...

Q: My spouse says he believes in God but not the Bible itself (because he says it’s man written). I tried to explain about it being inspired and the Word of God.  In some areas of conversation he agrees but also doesnt believe other things in the Bible. We have been having religious discussion for 3 days now. He had asked where Hell is. He starts in on how do I not know and that it’s in the center of the earth. I said yes some people do think that because it’s the hottest. I said but I am not God, yet Scripture seems to say it is below. Wherever it is, it is. That made him mad because I just don’t say yes you’re right. At some point he stated he’s not a sinner. I explained the Bible says we all are sinners, and that is why Jesus Christ came for us. So now he keeps saying I calling him a sinner. I say it’s not true because the Bible says we are sinners and it speaks the truth. He is upset that I don’t agree with him. He doesn’t want to be with me and has gotta so angry that he tr...

Q: I’m worried about my adult son. I pray but it seems evil prevails.  My husband (yes still married) left to live with his mistress. Our young adult son, finishing school still lives at home.  Before his dad left, he was studying the Bible. He even got baptized & found himself a church. He was so determined to serve God. He has heard me praying for my marriage & for our family for years. The mistress has caused mental anxiety & trauma for both of us but the biggest thing is that my son stopped believing. He said God has seen all of it & heard me praying for years & we also get the opposite of what I pray for. Everything in the kid’s life just kept going wrong. So now he says pretty bad things about God & that terrifies me. I know we are all responsible for our walk in life but I also know the dad & mistress is the cause of his unbelief.   The only verse I know is the one about being better with a mill stone around the neck than to cause a...