Counseling: Wife Left
Counseling separated couple
Issue: wife left. But appears theyre still spending some time together. Not sure if they have kids.
1 Corinthians 7:2-5 tells us we can deprive ourselves for a limited time to devote to prayer. Verse is talking about marital sex, but it can also apply to taking a limited time away from eachother to refocus on yourself, each other and Christ.
Not sure what others have advised, but my first thought was to share some things for you to do for yourself, and that would be from the Word, self reflection and action for changes you need to make.
It is not always true that you are the one at total fault for why it got here, but usually if somethings wrong... the husbands the one who ultimately dropped the ball. Unless the wife turned from God and just wants to live in worldly sin. But that problem can also stem from him not being the proper responsible head of the house, and leading the wife in Christ in the marriage. So since I dont know the details, and am not a certified counselor, I can only suggest the following...
1. If she told you, think on the things she has brought up that are issues, and seriously consider if you dropped the ball and messed up. Things build up over time and if you werent taking her feelings, needs & requests into consideration, it will seem like thats indeed the core issue, (though biblically ther'll be other issues at the core; for both of you). Youll need to work on those things; both what she said and what the below folks tell you.
2. Talk to your pastor & have prayer. Decide on steps you need to take. Ask her to also meet w the pastor & his wife, for a solo session.
3. Go Get a solo counseling session with a reputable certified biblical counselor to get guidance and direction based on your situation. Pastors can help at first, but Christian professionals need to be helping you. [See below link]
Then you could reach out to her and say, "i really want to make this work, i and am doing what i can on my end to ensure i am the husband Christ wants me to be, and to be a blessing to you and to us. I contacted a counselor, consulted Scripture, am going thru husband sermons, and reflecting on what i can change. I would be happy to contact the counselor, have you speak with em and then have a session together. I can also update you both on my progress and hope this can heal the issues and we have a stronger better marriage for life because of it." And nicely & open mindedly find a time before and during couple counseling to see what she thinks the problems are (if she hasnt told you) that are big enough to leave you over. But regardless, work on what the pastor and counselor tell you. In addition the below info can help you (& for growth).
This may help too, examining my faith
🌟Counseling resources for self help and spiritual growth. (Husband ones are at lower area)
Do what you can, let God guide you after
Then, after you have done all you can, and if thru the counselor she doesnt also examine herself, ensure she is actually saved, and working on her her issues, and decides to leave you, biblically you are free to move on. But if you keep the door open, easier if you already do have kids, just love on her as you would to others in Christ you are close to, and treat her as family, and go above and beyond (not in a taken advantage of way or letting her steal all your money way), but always talking about the positives and good things about her, and never negatives, and let her hear you. She will realize what she lost, and perhaps come back. Let her know *the relationship can be restored even after divorce*. But if she dates others and she likely slept with other guys, then it is forever severed >>as the Bible explains. [Cuz men then were running around divorcing a wife sleeping w others and then trying to remarry her again]. Remarrying is not allowed in that situation. So if you let her know the door to reconciliation and remarriage is open, but only if she remains abstinent until remarriage. But if she sleeps with someone or remarries, Its impossible to restore the relationship. You are free from her.
And pray. Even if she divorces you, pray, watch and wait. Say and do nice things. For her and the inlaws too. But if she crosses that line (sex), you can now only be towards her as one who you show kindness to, regardless of her behavior, for the sake of the kids and as a godly witness of a Christian. Which says volumes to your kids as a believers witness, to those who slandered you, and to those who see your interactions. We have no place for hatred, malice or grudges as a believer. We are even to love our enemies, and those who try to or do harm us. God will take care of us.
At the least it will be a visual and mental blessing to your kids, and even if they live with her, theyll know you are trustworthy even tho there was marriage problems.
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