CounselingChristians

Q: I'm struggling with the commandment honor thy mother and thy father.  What if they do not honour or show you respect? Are you just supposed to be treated like garbage by them but yet be oh so kind and loving to them in return anyways? What if there is years of emotional abuse.  Thank goodness my step-dad has now been sober 2 years but there was years of trauma throughout my entire childhood. I'm now 33.... and now my mom drinks and if she has a bad day im the one getting messages at midnight being her punching bag. I have 3 babies under 3 they dont visit much despite them both being retired and only live a few hours away. Which saddens me because my oldest son loves his gma but shes never there. She didnt even show up for my first childs birth which really hurt. She seems to think ive ruined her life and that ive bled them dry because they helped pay for my first car, school, and other things most parents help with. I moved out at 16 and started working at 14 because they ...

Q: Please help. I am sick. Absolutely sick. My husband and I got married about a month ago. I was so certain that this was what God wanted for us.  Since then I have rededicated my life to Christ. We joined a church. My son even got saved.  ...but last night, I was enlightened that as a woman of divorce, God commanded me to remain single or go back to my ex husband. And yes, as ashamed as I am, I was living as an adulterer. But, I have begged forgiveness from God, literally on my knees in tears. I am distraught.  I love my husband and we have been stead fast in making God a strong part of our marriage. We pray nightly together. We do daily devotionals. Church every Sunday. I want to go to Heaven more than anything in the world. Idk what we are supposed to do. My husband and I have a blended family that we love dearly. I’m so scared. Please help. A: So.... if you are saved, & now have that understanding, though it was adultery, it was dealt with in Christ on the cross ...

Q: How to move out of an emotionally and mentally abusive situation with no life guidance, parents or money A: It depends if your married, living in sin with a significant other or just in a relationship with that person. And what the issues are.  If in a relationship, it sounds unequally yoked, that the person who is sinning against you is unsaved. If that's the case, it is expected since they are not born again, so God hasn't transformed them, which means they can only live out the sin nature, which is sinning. They cant do anything but that, ( Read Genesis 6:5, Ecclesiastes 9:3 , Isaiah 53:6, Romans 8:7–8, Galatians 5:19-21, Titus 3:3, Ephesians 2:3, Romans 5:12, Psalm 14:3, Romans 7:18, Psalm 51:5, Jeremiah 17:9, Galatians 5:17, John 3:19–20). So you cant have any other expectation. Which is why we who are in Christ, are to love others as God loved us [we were enemies of God, yet he went to extreme lengths and cost for us]. We are likewise to show love, patience, grace, me...

Q: How are we to interact with people we have forgiven? Jesus says we are to forgive seventy times seven times (we are to forgive endlessly), but I struggle with knowing how to treat distant/family members who have sinned (sexual abuse) against my immediate family in the past.  I believe I have forgiven them because I feel free from the pain they've caused, but maybe I haven't actually forgiven because I still don't want to be around them. I have felt convicted about my behavior with them, and while it is not outwardly rude or disrespectful, it is not joyous and loving either. I kind of just avoid them. I think Jesus would want me to be kind to them, but I know it would make me uncomfortable to be around them. It makes me anxious because I am getting married in May and will see all of them again.  A: It is good you are working through this to be as Christlike as possible in this area.  First I will note that the unsaved will and can only behave as their sinful nature does...

Q:  What do we do about narcissistic mothers? I know in the Bible we’re supposed to love our parents but there has to be an exception to toxic relationships? A:  Toxic is a worldly term. I would biblically rephrase it to SIN. That's all it is. Theyre living in the sin nature.. otherwise if saved they will grow in righteousness (and we need to give grace just as others give you, tho the sin needs to be addressed).  Scripture is clear.  1. We know about the sword of truth causing division in the family.  2. We know we are to be patient, gracious, kind, living and try to lead people to Christ and educate believers. If theyre not saved, we need to love them into Christ. If they are claiming to be saved then we have to be patient and loving. We cant cut off our parents as Scripture says "those who do should be treated as unsaved". Clarity: In Jesus day the sinful men wanted to blow their money on whatever they wanted and not provide for their family. We still need t...

Q: My husband has in the past looked at girls on social media. He deleted both for now, but did mention he was planning to go back on Facebook and I lost it and said no. [You lost those privileges when you looked at other women like 17 women].  *Once I caught him looking at a girl in a bikini and zooming in. I flipped, but eventually moved past it. Fast forward fo a few months ago where I felt like I should look at his acct. I never really do that. So I pulled it up and in the search bar were a bunch of girls names. He said it all started with him looking at some guy’s reel and then just went down a rabbit hole, but swore he didn’t look these girls up and doesn’t even know their names. It was awful. I feel like in a sort of depression now. I have started to work out as i feel insecure about my weight now. I know he is attracted to me he flirts with me and does make me feel wanted.  He said he doesn’t watch porn and has repented. He got an app called accountable2you which sends...