CounselingChristians

Have no bf, not in a relationship, am 28 I am getting concerned I wont find a spouse.  Advice? A: The Bible says and make my petitions known to the Lord. In his perfect timing, he answers. -Philippians 4:6-7 He might want you to grow more in the faith, mature in the knowledge of Scripture until he leads you to the right godly Christian fir a husband. Can I ask if you are missing opportunities? What are you doing to be around Christians to look for one? ...such as are you regularly in young adults Sunday School, singles group at Church, going to singles groups & events at associate churches, getting recommendations from the decons, going to volunteering at solid biblical ministries. Did you go to a solid Christian college? Go to alumni functions, or go to Christian groups from there [current and alumni].  What about attending a reputable Christian conference, a Christian singles conference, working or voluntering at a church mens conference or seminary event(s) somewhere...

Dating a non practicing Catholic. I have shared the gospel with her, but also wanting to do a devotional that might help communicate the gospel as well. Something that is Gospel centered and would through the daily devotional present Christ and the Gospel in various ways.  Sure. Here are some ideas... Option 1 - Gospel like devotional Maybe a bit of this every day with Bibles open? https://www.amazon.com/What-Gospel-9Marks-Greg-Gilbert/dp/1433515008/ref=nodl_?dplnkId=f3013726-fc64-44f7-85dc-caa91eba0ce5 * Disclaimer. 9Marks went woke in 2016 so avoid them in general. I can also recommend one of 4 or 5 devotionals at livingwaters.com store. They always have a gospel central focus in their material. 😀🌟 Option 2 - A study instead A verse by verse reading of John or Ephesians is a great way to share the Gospel in a Catholic framework. They've never understood the concepts of born again and salvation by grace through faith. And John’s gospel is a great book for a non believer t...

Struggling w Walk Not really sure what to do or think, but I'm feeling confused, frustrated, and scared.      I've been a "Christian" it seems my whole life. I grew up in a Christian home and I've always believed in God, been baptized multiple times, but I haven't always lived as a true Christian should or been truly saved. But, about, 4 or 5 years ago I began my journey to truly become a woman of God and take my relationship with Him seriously. I just feel like it never has truly "clicked" though. I've tried to read my Bible more, pray more, go to church regularly, gave up secular music, listen to Christian podcasts, etc.     But I've been very inconsistent the whole time. What I mean by that is I will pray, read the Word, be obedient, etc. for some days, weeks, or even a month or two. But it ALWAYS seems to come to an end. Then I randomly stop and I'll go days, weeks, months without doing any of it or barely doing it. And then a day c...

Q:  I have a friend of 6 years that I "feel" compatible with but he is not saved. I am so torn by wanting to love and be involved with him, but I WANT Jesus MORE. I have resolved to not be alone with him in a room, like ever, and I will not compromise my promise for waiting for marriage. There have been other male suitors that are of the faith, but I am not as "meshed" with them or interested in them... and it is difficult to tear away from this man to pursue a godly one.  In all honesty I do NOT think I am ready for marriage or a relationship but the passion and interest is there, and I cannot make it go away.  I know Jesus says to cut off, but like I said it is so difficult to tear away from him. I find myself wanting to annoy him just to make him mad to break it off with me, but he doesn't budge. I NEED HELP. A: We should never put ourselves in this situation to begin with. The unequally yoked command applies to friendships too. And... Women cannot be friends...

While our body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit and we know God creates us, we also know He has plans for us how he made us, but also know we are in a sin stained world where there are deformities and disabilities. God does have a plan for all of that in our lives, through to our family's lives, with our friends and those we meet (if we are one of the ones dealing with that issue). We also know that some people cannot get past looks. So if there is a big deformity or something that would give you some relief from judgmental people who only look at the outside then it might be okay. There is Christian liberty and medical assistance today, so it might allow you to be a bit more bold to share the gospel with people and feel like you both will be a bit more comfortable/open if you do a little bit. Soak the idea in prayer, get counsel from your parents, closes godly friends and a bit of counsel from your Pastor AND biblical counseling  before you proceed.  The biggest concerns ar...

How to get back on track... The truth is many don't know whete to start or what to do to conquer their sins. Repent: take responsibility for your sin, confess it to God-say what He says about your sin, look unto God and His word for calibration. Practice calibration in prayer: prayer can often be shallow in these moments and feel as though they do not go passed the ceiling. It’s guilt and shame.  Look into Gods Word, the psalms, to push through the guilt and shame. Guilt and shame will eventually wear off in the coming day or days, but only one determines the readiness of your heart and mind to make the right decision when temptations arise once more. Set your mind the way the psalmists set their mind. Eat, workout with a sermon, eat and sleep: Honor God with your body. Glorify Him by doing healthy things with your body. Plug your ears with a sermon, godly music and godly things while you build a discipline that feeds your body and soul. Find rest in fellowship: you are not alone. ...

It's wonderful to hear that you have a desire to live according to biblical principles. The book of Proverbs, particularly chapter 31, provides a beautiful depiction of a woman of noble character. This passage describes a woman who is trustworthy, hardworking, compassionate, and wise. She cares for her family, shows kindness to others, and fears the Lord. You can start by studying and meditating on the qualities of the Proverbs 31 woman. This passage can serve as a guide for your own character and actions. Additionally, seeking wisdom and guidance through prayer and actively growing in your relationship with God can help you embody the virtues outlined in Proverbs 31. Remember, becoming a woman of noble character is a journey, and it's okay to have moments of growth and learning along the way. Trust in the Lord to guide you as you seek to reflect His love and grace through your femininity and dignity. Here are great resources to help you begin this journey. 1. Prov 31 woman...

Q: Son has strayed from the faith and embraced Atheism. How can I reach him, reason with him, provide answers to questions he might have. And to show him Christianity is true and God is real? A: These resources can help. It is a good idea to get familiar with the contents inside by going through each topic and its contents one by one. If you know specific objections he now has you can start with those ones first in the faq below. The reliability section will help solidify truth about the trustworthiness of the Bible.  You can also after going through this, have daily round table time with your son if he lives at home. He is to obey and honor his parents and that is the house rule under Christian authority of the home and your faith. You can use this opportunity to teach through these issues. There are also videos of help here, but also podcasts and written information mixed in. There are also sermons on topics. All are useful. You can do these things as daily family dev...

I'm a young teen interested in someone but i dont know which to choose a long friendship or a relationship that might not be long term. We work together currently.  A: Relationships before college age (24 tbh) rarely last. But also you need to determine is he single, is he straight, is he a real Christian or a false convert/church goer. If he is just playing along, or is a maturing real Christian evident by his life and what his day/schedule looks like when he is home.  God's will is for us to only have relationships with a believer. If you are outside God's will you will be warned, offered correction by Scripture, believers, and elders at your church. God never blesses rebellious ones who leave Him to go do their own thing.  Remember 1. Most guys are only looking to hook up or date long enough to get sex and leave after finding a new replacement. So take caution. 2. If he seems interested... put on the brakes until you probe his life and vet him as a worthy q...

Q: I just found out that my teenage son has gotten addicted to pornography. I’m sick about it. I thought he was such a good kid and found out he’s been viewing porn for the past year. I know that I should’ve had more safety features on his phone but that doesn’t help now. What should I do? We homeschool and are involved in church. A:

I am a 14 year old teen and have been struggling to get baptized for about 2 years. I have been attending a Baptist church my whole life. I got saved at 9 years old, and want to get baptized. But feel stuck/prevented. For some background, my dad grew up jv witness, but completely stopped following that religion after he turned 18 and left home. Since he grew up in a cult, (that is a "religion"), he doesnt understand biblical Christianity (not "religion"). He said I’m too young to devote my life to "a religion".  How do I convince him to let me get baptized? If I do it behind his back then that would be me disobeying him right? I’m very lost and frustrated and don’t know what to do. Please advise. A: We as believers are to obey God above all others. If parents are trying to stop you from obeying God then you go obey God. Baptism is the 1st act of obedience towards God we do after being saved. I am going to assume your mom is Baptist and you go to church w...

Re: Christian homeschooler parent overwhelmed with stress of childrens Church activities. My church just started Awana this year, but already stressed. Am I the only mom that just can’t handle Wednesday night church? Is us not giing really going to teach my kids not to put God first? I feel so convicted at church and like I would be judged if my kids aren’t there for Awana on Wednesday nights. We tried it tonight and it was just as hard as Wednesday night church has ever been. My husband works till 8pm. My 13 year old had to be there at 5:30 the other kids at 6pm and then they don’t get out of Awana until 7:30. They feed the kids/youth but 😔 my kids are always hungry afterwards. I don’t really have anywhere to be during this time.   The church has a prayer meeting but it is a very short meeting, it doesnt cover that full time my kids are busy (and it’s all elderly people that attend). Tonight I also had to sit through the business meeting. I don’t volunteer to teach o...

You can ask the Pastor if it is allowed. Some churches modify their policy for "on a case by case basis" for allowing you to join there...but it is after they have  had time  to really examine you and your life to see that you really are saved and showing fruit proof.  See discussion . You can point to this audio example to the pastor of a church you are attending if that is your case, for considering your case. And ask him to contact that Pastor to discuss it further for guidance. Just know, it is not the norm, since baptism is a picture of a person showing "the death to self and raising to spiritual life; from death in Christ to resurrected in Christ showing the witnesses of the event that you are a new creation". If you decide to get baptized again but by immersion it gives you an opportunity to invite all the unsaved and possible false converts you know so you can share your testimony  and  ask the pastor to, (when you exit the baptismal pool), share a clea...

Sexual sin, other sins, a connected relationship and need to be right with God  Q: I'm 18 years old, I've always been seen as the "good Christian kid" though I hate to admit I've never actually discovered God. I've always struggled to believe. The last few years I've struggled extremely with sin, I was online and did some horrendous stuff related to sexual sins, I was drawn into it, continued doing ), and fell into a cycle of porn... which then led to stealing lying and other bad things for me to be able to aid this addiction.  I feel horrendous that not only have I sinned, and denied God so many times, but I've also tempted hundreds of guys (through inappropriate videos) into them sining as well.  Then I met a great guy I become best friends with at a Christian camp and fully told him all of this from start to finish. He's be a good friend, but now he likes me as more than a friend...and so keeps doing inappropriate things towards me over face ti...

Q: I am a teen. I have been stressed out about a situation and need godly advice. I had a huge friend group and in that group was a best friend [i’ve known since I was 7]. She and another girl in the group became close and she stopped talking to me. I wanted to know why she had been distancing herself from me [and she wouldn’t talk to me unless the girl I mentioned before joined us]. So we met at a coffee shop and I found out she had been distancing herself from me because they couldn’t see my “spiritual” involvement with the Lord and that she didn’t want to be around someone like that. They never told me what was wrong and never helped or attempted to help in so called areas I was lacking either. I am a very studious and decent kid.. the only bad thing I can think of I do is ever do is swear (but never taking the God's name in vain). I might sometimes laugh at an innapropriate joke. But I am only 17 and I will fail sometimes in my walk, but I get huge hits of conviction when I ...

Find a professional Biblical Counselor.  Many times and situations your pastor is not going to be able to help you and you need to be redirected to a professional.  Pastors counseling is basically intense discipleship and guidance more actual counseling. That work is to be left to professionals.  Self-Counseling: This assistance is available & recommended if you do not need professional help. Go through these before seeking professional help, unless it is an urgent situation of abuse you are looking to flee from.  Should I seek out medication or keep working on my issues Professional Counseling: Worldly Therapists do not model their counseling after Jesus Christ, and their theology and methodology are devoid of Christ and His care. Christians need to seek out professional biblical counselors . Our guidance comes from the authority of God thru the Scriptures.  Not all Counseling is Equal   & how to select a counselor Christians have...

Q: Is it a sin to be gay if youre uncomfortable around men, but want to have a relationship? (* from ages 6-14 I was molested by my grandfather, and makes me quite uncomfortable around men now) A: We are to live in the world and not hide away. And live properly in the design God made us for. We are not to follow the ways of the wicked who harmed us nor be pulled into lifestyles and sins that displease God. With that said, God gives us the strength and helps to go through this fallen world day by day. He gives us lots of stories in S ripture to show us that with God in our lives we can trust Him and he will help us through this hard time.  This fallen sin stained world is saddening a lot, but our joy is in Jesus and Scripture says believers long for the day the Lord changes it (sin free new Heaven and new Earth) and we live out a wonderful eternity with Him. God will help you through this. I heard this  testimony  the other day and was so surprised it was his past, bu...

Concern over judgment for stop smoking. Q: I don’t want to drink/smoke anymore and I don’t know how to tell my best friend. i’m afraid she may judge me or lose interest in me. She is my only true friend and i don’t know how to go about this. please pray for me and advise. A: Alright, nice decision on deciding to stop At minimum, for the sake of your health it sure is a good decision. You could start by telling her you have been convicted,  by your personal faith  and loss of interest, and want cut on your consumption of such things, maybe from smoking daily to twice in a week or so? With time, you'll drop this vice finally.  And then, let her just deal with it as you go abiut change you are convinced and convictrd to follow through with. She might follow your lead and see there's no good for smoking and drinking so 😀 you might influence her to stop too. Win win & lead by example; really conquer it.  Along the way just trust God, and fill your life with peopl...

Q: Had been thinking about concerns over family dying or getting into a car accident. How should I think about this from a biblical viewpoint? A: People have a fear of loss or death. No one wants to be separated by a loved one or see them injured. But we do need to have a Christian biblical worldview on the issue. And trust God who tells us in the Bible thst He is in control and if something happens he will use it fir good or our good.  Here is a book that can help. Booklet summary  preview Full book  (book)  And theres some info in here about living in peace mindset as a believer, and conquering anxiety. God bless!  Other Resources Understanding the Gospel Believers Resources 

Q: We recently started attending a new church. I love the expository preaching style, it is close to our house and is very homeschool friendly (our co-op meets there weekly). We previously attended another church about 30 minutes away that was a bit more charismatic. My son who is almost 16 really loves the youth group at our previous church. It was much larger and has a large group of teens. It is more fellowship and worship based, more “me” centered and less service oriented. The new church is much smaller and doesn’t have the “production capabilities” but is solidly reformed in their teachings. My question is, should I still let my son attend the old church’s youth program since he attends Sunday service at the new church with me? My husband is not a believer so I can’t seek his counsel on this. I don’t want to deter my son from attending youth, he was very active in it previously. A: A lot of kids throw away youth group and similar groups when they get to college be...

Is it a sin to date a 17 year old if I am 14? A: This is a red flag that is typical of older (unsaved) boys behavior.  Is he saved? Have your parents met the person, had a solid discussion with him, and have they approved? I highly doubt any sane parent would allow this. He needs to date people older like his age and above. There too much of a developmental difference. A 14 year old is 8th grade or barely in high school. A 17 year old is on the brink of adulthood applying for college, working, driving, and potentially moving out. I don’t care if he tell you your mature for your age, no offense but your probably not. Predators will whisper sweet nothings into your ear and tell you everything you want to hear to get what they want from you. They pick young girls because they’re easier to manipulate, and corner alone.  He likely is/could be grooming you and using emotional minipulation tactics. He’s almost graduated (if not graduating in a few months) and you still h...