CounselingChristians

Q: How to move out of an emotionally and mentally abusive situation with no life guidance, parents or money A: It depends if your married, living in sin with a significant other or just in a relationship with that person. And what the issues are.  If in a relationship, it sounds unequally yoked, that the person who is sinning against you is unsaved. If that's the case, it is expected since they are not born again, so God hasn't transformed them, which means they can only live out the sin nature, which is sinning. They cant do anything but that, ( Read Genesis 6:5, Ecclesiastes 9:3 , Isaiah 53:6, Romans 8:7–8, Galatians 5:19-21, Titus 3:3, Ephesians 2:3, Romans 5:12, Psalm 14:3, Romans 7:18, Psalm 51:5, Jeremiah 17:9, Galatians 5:17, John 3:19–20). So you cant have any other expectation. Which is why we who are in Christ, are to love others as God loved us [we were enemies of God, yet he went to extreme lengths and cost for us]. We are likewise to show love, patience, grace, me...

Q: God says He is always with us right? My husband of 14 years was arrested last month for dv abuse against me, he spent some time in jail, more in the psyche ward. He was never the spiritual leader he promised to be. In fact, just in the past few days, after many many sermons about testing and self-examination, he has come to the realization that *he is not a Christian*. I have no idea if he will ever give his life to to Christ.  There's several mental illnesses involved and he went off meds a few years back and has been iffy at best with his meds and therapy for these since. He has been abusive verbally, mentally, emotionally for years and there's been porn involved, of a particular grostedque nature and our marriage has never been consummated. I thought we were passed that years ago, but my discovering his backslide is what triggered the incident. He has rages several times a weeks, most days really, often more than one a day. There's more issues but that's enough t...

Q: Why is it in convos when believing women say "my husband treats me terrible… and this is how…” but those providing responses or counsel go right to “are you a good wife…?”  I say this because I was raised in a “godly, Christian home” and guess what?! My dad just straight was a narcissist… no matter how my mom acted.  God didn’t say worship yalls man… God didn’t say slave to yalls man… men should be held to a higher standard. Yall are giving them the bare minimum and that’s not okay. A: Voddie rightfully notes that when believers go their own way (marry unequally yoked in rebellion to God's command), they reap what they sow. "You married him. You got exactly what you wanted".  Equally-yoked married couples focus on pursuing holiness, being a godly spouse. The husband loves the wife as Christ loves the Church, and the wife loves her husband. She is a blessing to him, a treasure, and he is grateful to God, and treats her as such.  In unequally yoked marriages, the be...

Church policy doesnt allow outside or any counseling of those married without both present with the elders, even in abuse situations. Is this biblical?? Q:I have a question about what the Bible says about talking about/seeking counsel from others about marital difficulties, especially in cases of possible verbal/emotional abuse. A friend shared with me that the official position of "her" church. To avoid gossip or the potential to disrespect the marriage covenant, a wife cannot speak with anyone about marital problems unless her husband is also present for the conversation. This includes not talking to friends, counselors, or other family members about any marital difficulties. This church does recognize physical abuse as serious but the pastoral counseling provided doesn’t seem to be recognize other forms of abuse. I recognize that is not uncommon in church circles, but this is the first time I’ve heard it called unbiblical for one spouse to even talk about marital problem...

Q:I need prayer… my husband and I got married 3 years ago. He had asked for a divorce more times than I can count. Things started getting really bad. Arguing all the time, he wouldn’t help me around the house or with the kids and almost never helped me pay any bills. I was basically a married single mom doing it all. Anytime I would voice my concerns he would get mad and it would lead to an argument. One day he threatened me and told me that he would kill me.  Years ago [before we got married and saved] he did punch me in the face and gave me a concussion. So this time, I got so scared but I never turned to anyone for help. He would yell and say horrible things to me in front of our kids. One day while I was cooking, he grabbed the pan I was cooking with and slammed it on the counter next to me, breaking the pan. Frying bacon grease went everywhere. I called the cops because I thought he was going to hurt me. Cops basically said since he didn’t hit me and that we are married that t...

Q: We are young 20's and have been married 2 years. Weve had problems. After lots and lots of work at couples counseling (6 months) I still feel like my gut is telling me to leave my husband. We started attending counseling because of his porn addiction and anger isssues. He only ever put hands on me once, but it was enough to make me stop showing him affection. It’s like there’s a mental barrier I can’t break that won’t allow me to hug or kiss him.  He’s gotten a lot better but I’m still very unhappy in my relationship. He hasn’t watched porn in almost a year and hasn’t thrown a “tantrum” in about 5 months. I can tell he’s trying which makes me feel bad, but at the end of the day he doesn’t respect me or what I want and he always puts himself first. To make things worse, he is the most pessimistic person I’ve ever met. He complains nonstop all day long. It really drags me down.  And to top it all off, he is very unkind to animals. How can I trust him to be gentle and patient ...

Q: I’m at a loss as to what to do about the situation with my mom and stepdad. My step dad is verbally and emotionally abusive towards my mom. They have been married for 14 years. I have witnessed it happen, and every time I want to speak up about it, but I freeze. I can’t talk, I feel like crying right then and there.  I have repeatedly told my mom that is not the way a husband should treat a wife. But her excuse is always “well he doesn’t physically or sexually abuse me like your dad did” and I always tell her, “still doesn’t mean it’s right” I have been really praying for her and my step dad. My step dad and mom are Christian’s and go to church and pray.  I’m really close with my step family, my step grandma and I are besties. My step grandpa still calls me “Dave’s wife’s daughter”, (I changed my step dad’s name for privacy). My mom has a full time job, but he doesn't let her/not allowed - to use her money towards things she wants. She has to ask him permission if she needs...

These are resources that can help you see how biblical counseling can guide and address these varied abuse topics.  Verbal abuse (video & article) Abuse advice sermon  Healing our Hurts Counseling a Physical Abused Fearful Wife  Protecting an Abused Woman (fee) Navigating Feelings after Abuse -------- Abuse and the Abuser Counseling men accused of Abuse Getting Professional Counseling   Biblical Counselors can help individuals with problems they face, whether a abused wife, a married couple in need of helpful counseling, or other counseling to resolve serious matters.  Biblical Counselors use biblical worldviews  to address and help bring understanding, guide to self correct from sin/error and to right resolution, so believers can live progressing holy lives.  Contact a Professional Biblical Counselor Counseling Library  Breaking free of old habits  Reasons you keep falling into the same sins  Why  saying "Stop sinning" doesn...

Q: My husband has been verbally abusive for several years now. Yelling & swearing at me in front of our kids. It happens every 1-2weeks. Everytime it leaves me feeling hopeless & numb. He told me that he stopped apologizing to me a while ago because it is making me entitled. I have been compeltely guarded emotionally & physically. I told him that I don’t feel safe with him & he told me that I’m the only one that can change that.  He refused to do marriage counseling because he said it’s a way for me to shame & manipulate him. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want the enemy to win this battle in my marriage. I pray for us everyday & try to be brave. I can not take this for much longer. It is teaching my children that it’s okay to speak to someone this way & to be treated this way.  Please pray for my marriage. I feel stuck & numb. He is not a believer & tells me I am in a cult. A: Unsaved people act as their nature. They're trapped i...