CounselingChristians

Q: We are struggling with considering leaving our current church. It in someways is a solid church. I do like the way the teachings are set up.  My issues are:  ●weak leadership- lack of church discipline(if there is any at all, no one is aware of it except for the elders).  ○I personally feel 2 of our 4 elders are not qualified.  ●There is alot of gossip (one of the elders wife's is a huge part of that, and she is young and unteachable- goes as far as to say she won't listen to older women).  ● We have some members that are socialist and will admit to it and are very into all that entails.  ●My family personally feels very ignored. I used to try to text and try to meet for lunch with our pastors wife, and always got ignored- finally gave up trying. (Its very cliquey, including the elders). ●My biggest concern is while we do not have women elders or deacons, it has been preached that our church's position is that its not wrong, and could be considered in th...

Husband wrestling w convictions & sin surrenders, now avoids home & family life, is mean, nitpicky & negative even to our toddlers.  Q:  My husband and I are both believers, and over the last three years we’ve been actively trying to grow in our walk with Christ. Up until about 6–8 months ago, my husband was also pursuing growth, but lately things have shifted. He’s given up a lot and made some big lifestyle changes, but now he’s wrestling with convictions he never thought he’d have to face. He knows we’re called to surrender it all to Christ if He asks, but he doesn’t really want to let go of certain things. Instead of leaning into those convictions, he’s been pulling away from God—and from us. He’s not abusive, but he can be neglectful—of me, the kids, and our home. He often finds reasons to be gone late, which means he usually gets home after the kids are in bed, and sometimes after I am too. When he is home, he’s not present. He seems depressed, and honestly, h...

Q: When my husband and I are in disagreement about something he will hurt me with his words. Yesterday he told me I am a fake Christian and not genuine since he can't recall me ever bringing anyone to Christ given how long I have been in relationship with Jesus (many years) and kind of scoffed about. He says I'm all show and not a real Christian. He even called me a faithless Godless heathen recently. It did make me second-guess my walk with Christ and wonder if I'm doing it right. I do love Jesus with all my heart and desire to walk with him until my last breath. I do try and model Christ-like behaviour as much as possible. Although I am a shy, anxious and awkward person at times, I don't hide my faith and I'm proudly Christian. Ultimately the goal is salvation and souls, and I do hope to help bring people to Jesus. I have a non-Christian friend mum who I pick up every Sunday for church and her two kids as she asked for a ride once and so I have been picking her up...

Q: I need advice… I have been a Christian since young, but I just now started finding my own way in faith rather than what my parents taught me. I am wanting to go to church but my husband doesn’t really like going to church. He believes in God but doesn’t feel a connection to him at church. How do I get him to come with me without forcing him or do I just go and be that example for him… I just want to grow and bring him with me but I also know I won’t change him God will… but I don’t want to walk alone… A: You wont be able to get an unbeliever to church. God would need to move him to. My recommendation is share the Gospel. Only God can save, and when he does, the person is transformed into a new creation with new and right desires. He will want to go to church and Worship God & Fellowship with believers.  While it is true based on parable of the soils some will profess and fall away, those genuinely converted will pursue a life of holiness and grow through the sanctification p...

Q: I’m currently in a somewhat unyoked marriage. Before we wed, neither of us had strong beliefs. He grew up Buddhist, I grew up going to a Christian church on Easter and maybe once every other year. I was forced to go to youth group for awhile, since there was a church behind our house my mom took it as a free babysitter for an hour a week. I got saved late last year so am a new believer. And my husband is just started to come around. He’ not turned to Christ yet, so he still has times of mockery.  To my question- admittedly so, I’m only about 1/2, close to 3/4 done reading the Bible so I have not 100% grasped yet what "a biblical wife" looks like other than being nurturing, peaceful, loving, etc. for the majority of our marriage whether I worked I not I did 95% of the housework, childcare, cooking, etc. my husband has always worked hard labor with a 2 hour one way commute so I never ever complained or asked for help. He also pays for 95% of our bills and he does all of our ...

Q: Do I have to go to church every Sunday? I haven’t been wanting to go every Sunday because I’m having personal issues and need more time to recover. My church is nice, However the person I ride with and attend with has a lot of the reasons I’m having personal issues. So I don’t want to attend every Sunday. I don’t want to personally list what I’m having an issue with her. I’m hoping God will either send me a different church with a way to get there or fix the conflict I’m having. A: Glad you sought out guidance on this. ✨️ No, you are not to run off to another church just based on that. We arent to hide from problems, ignore or let them fester. Scripture tells us to go to those you have a problem with, if they've sinned, and likewise they too are to go to you. It's to be resolved. Of theyre a believer thry ardny gojng to bite your head off, yheyll be open. And if mature theyll be glad you brought it to their attention, even if they arent wrong and you just misund...

I need some advice. I've been running a church event for 2 years now. I felt a desire to find a way to attract people to the church and peak their interest. For the last 2 years I have planned, preped, set up, and put together the event, with little to no help outside of volunteers the day of.  Today, I approached the childrens minister, who offered to help this year, to set a meeting date to go over details for the event. I was then told to my face that it will most likely be canceled this year because she is too stressed with VBS to worry about this event. I am hurt because I have done everything for this event every time, and did not ask for help but accepted it when offered. And now the entire thing seems it's going to be canceled because the help no longer wants to help, even though I am more than happy to do this on my own. I want to speak to my pastor about this, as he is the one who authorized this event and told me to make it good. But part of me is worried he will agr...

Q: Should I return to a former church? I left a previous church several months ago. I was hurt because of a specific person there. I recently learned that you should only leave the church if it teaches something that doesn't align with the Bible's teachings. If you want to leave the church because of personal matters, don't. But I left because when I addressed the problem with my pastor to fix the matter, she said she'll do something about it but after months of waiting that person was still constantly hurting me. I got so down so I decided to leave. When I left, my pastor never even wanted a chance to talk me over about leaving and let me leave. Was my decision wrong of leaving the church? The one who was hurting me was exhibiting homosexuality and does things that only targets to hurt me, especially words. Ps. I recently found out she addressed the issue and that person left the church. I also have 2 family members in leadership positions there. What should I do?...

Q: I am a teen and haven’t gone to church in a year now... because I’m too scared to go alone. Last year I was going with someone, but now I have nobody to go with. Realistically, I know nobody at the church is going to judge me for going alone but I have really bad social anxiety.  How can I get over it so I could go? A: God removes our fear.  Fear means=  False evidence appearing real. The thing we are nervous about, 99.9999% of the time never proves to be a actual concern once its over. We can be confident because God is with us and he directs our path. 🤗 Try doing sth "one thing at a time" and you will gain confidence. Here are examples.  1. Get a ride to church  2. Go to church. 3. Attend Sunday school 4. Ask 3 questions during class. > A. Does anyone live near x area who can pick me up for church and drop me off on Sundays?  > B. Ask for prayers about your anxiety & fear. > C. At least ask 1 question about the lesson, during the lesson....