CounselingChristians

Q: Dating someone who professes to be a Christian, but is not really practicing. How to share with them your decision to remain purity focused/ abstinent, and not kiss before marriage? I’m honestly a bit scared about how someone might react to that. I’ve met practicing Christian men who weren’t ready to go that far, but I’ve also met other Christians who actually respected and shared that conviction. The “no kissing” part is usually the hardest to explain, because I know many Christians who are fine with kissing before marriage. Personally, I’ve chosen not to, for several reasons that are important to me. Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth giving a chance to someone who isn’t fully practicing but still believes in God, and just being upfront that there won’t be sex or kissing until marriage. But I also believe that real love transcends everything and that if someone truly loves me, they’ll understand and respect that.  Advice? A: His answer tells you if hes not the one. There's ...

Q: My boyfriend & I broke up. We were together a year, (I know not long but I thought he was the one). We broke up 2 days ago and I am struggling… this isn’t my first heartbreak but this is my first one in a really long time (as I stayed single for 5 years before getting back into a relationship because I did not want to go through this and well here I am).  I can use prayers and advice to make this easier for me. I cannot stop thinking about him, & want to reach out. But I know that’s not the right thing to do (my flesh is testing me).  Also, I have kids from a previous relationship and they adored him, so not only am I heartbroken, but once they find out, theyll be hurt. How to move on? A: This can help you all move forward. Regarding the break up *Commenter noted it also helped for a friendship break up, so if theyre old enough, show this to them to help them too. It is a break away for them too, as theres now no contact anymore with him, for them too.  As to y...

I am new to the faith & am building my relationship day by day with God. I work a night shift and have two kids. I have a study bible that’s been helping me to interpret the Bible, but also need time for study for an exam to pass my registration for work.  I have a boyfriend who is just beginning to accept things of God & in this, but he has controlling tendencies. He uses the Bible to try to get me to “submit” and “listen” to him. I am the bread winner in the home household. He does not work because he doesn’t keep a job. I take care of my kids (one is with him) & have to constantly give him money for gas, phone bill, etc. I’ve decided to take a step back and not take care of his responsibilities anymore. He wants to be seen as “head of the household” and “provider” but in reality he only watches our daughter … he doesn’t cook dinner often, and complains about cleaning. I have cut off sex.  Might I add I am a surrogate. Since being pregnant I have been turned away...

Q: I’m a single mom trying to figure things out. I never intended to be a single mom, yet here I am. While figuring things out, I met a guy who is now my ex, who was great in the beginning, but it was short lived. Quick explanation, he became mean and verbally lashed out at me while throwing my single motherhood in my face. We broke up mainly because of his verbally abusive ways, two years ago. He tried to win me back 6 months later, but then when I hesitated & told him it would take some time for me to trust him again... he ran off and married the woman he would say “was desperate to be with him, because she was still in love with him”. It hurt my feelings but I moved on.  Now hes trying to come back and I still have some resentment but im torn between trying to make it work, since he seems hes changed,... or running for the hills. Hes been persistent the last three months and wants to come see us but something about that disrupts my spirit.  I’m stronger in my faith sin...

Q: I am uncertain about how to proceed and need guidance. I am unsure whether I should continue to pursue my ex-boyfriend. His behavior was unacceptable; ejected me and our newborn from our home. I desire to maintain a unified family, but its leading me to question whether God intends for us to be together. A: He's not husband material. No nope nopity nope. Never reconnect to him for any kind of relationship.  Be grateful to God that You dodged a bullet. Or rather, didn't get chained to such a person for life! The devil dupes women to think they need to marry the person they had a kid with, when fornication is a one time thing, but where as chaining yourself to Satan's child for life as a wife is a life ruining trap. It's a wrong and unfortunate deceptive mindset. God has said NOT to marry unequally yoked , so it wasn't God's plans for you to be with him at all; from the beginning. Usually the woman compromises to her peril; feels she can't do it alone, fe...

Q: I’m 22. I have a bf of almost 2 years.. last year I devoted myself to Christ and became Christian. I won’t sit here and act like I’ve been perfect since then.  My boyfriend isn’t Christian but he still believes God is good and he has a plan and he believes some stuff, but is still skeptical bc he’s a ‘science ‘ kind of guy when it comes to biblical things. Also I know I shouldn’t be fornicating/intimate before marriage. I know as it's in the Bible. But he says that because we plan to get married it’s okay. We have found eachother and love eachother a lot and we will spend the rest of our lives together so to him he dosent see it as an issue to say. He said back then people could just profess their love to God and be married and his eyes. Today’s marriage and back then are diffrent. We can be married in the eyes of God even tho we aren’t married in the eyes of the government yet… and I agreed bc yea? I guess?…. But idk.. idk how to feel.. I want to do things to sometimes so it’s ...

Q: Things went wrong w bf & he left me. We have kids. I am distraught. [Redacted info]. A: God is in the business of restoration. Both in salvation and in relationships. And that's great news! 😀 Of course if your bf isnt saved then that is a pressing issue, since tomorrow is never guaranteed. But, handle this current situation as godly and graciously as you can. If there is error in your behavior then do go to him after he cooled off and ask forgiveness, (and correct yourself in godliness). If he doesnt want you in his life anymore, you still need to be descent in interactions for the kids. Realize, if he isnt saved then that was unequally yoked [living in rebellion to God & he wont bless thus]. God may have allowed this to sever that kind of relationship with him, so you do not go further into sin [since we cannot be with/marry a unbeliever]. This could be a grace, so let God's will be done  (and in your life too). Pray for his salvation, but if it do...

Have no bf, not in a relationship, am 28 I am getting concerned I wont find a spouse.  Advice? A: The Bible says and make my petitions known to the Lord. In his perfect timing, he answers. -Philippians 4:6-7 He might want you to grow more in the faith, mature in the knowledge of Scripture until he leads you to the right godly Christian fir a husband. Can I ask if you are missing opportunities? What are you doing to be around Christians to look for one? ...such as are you regularly in young adults Sunday School, singles group at Church, going to singles groups & events at associate churches, getting recommendations from the decons, going to volunteering at solid biblical ministries. Did you go to a solid Christian college? Go to alumni functions, or go to Christian groups from there [current and alumni].  What about attending a reputable Christian conference, a Christian singles conference, working or voluntering at a church mens conference or seminary event(s) somewhere...

Q: My boyfriend is a non-believer and i dont really know what to do. I date to marry and we are already a year deep into the relationship. We talk about marriage and life after we graduate (which is coming up) all the time and its just fine, but when I discuss my faith, he gets super argumentative and insulting even when im being respectful about my faith. I found God while being with him and he’s not very happy or supportive about it. I want a relationship with God being the center but I also dont want to leave him. What do I do? I feel like I’m drowning. For further context, I have tried to turn him to Christ very slowly and subtly over the course of our relationship, but it seems as though the more Christ comes into my life, the further he runs. A: Well God has been clear we are not to be unequally yoked. Better to lose a year then live very miserably for the next 80! There is one thing you can try to do before you cut it off and bounce...and you are doing it. A lot of times peo...