CounselingChristians

Q: Me and husband decided to separate but the whole time apart he wanted to come back... but I were so hurt by what caused the separation, that I denied him all access to me. 6 months later I to missed him, and want him to come back.  Then he asks to come back again, but I didn't made it clear that I want him to come back. Around that time 💔 he told me that it’s a possibility that he has a baby on the way. Meaning he broke the marriage covenant, committed adultery, didn't even use protection, and now there's probably a child from that sexual sin.  How would you feel or what would you do? A: Sinners sin. That's not a usually biblical accepted reason to kick them out and seperate. Plenty of marriages are unequally yoked. And, you didnt say why you seperated, which plays a key in giving counsel.  We arent to live our lives focused on uncontrolled emotions, but be soberminded, and to have our minds and hearts saturated by the Word, so we can be led on the Holy path. To get...

Q: Why is it in convos when believing women say "my husband treats me terrible… and this is how…” but those providing responses or counsel go right to “are you a good wife…?”  I say this because I was raised in a “godly, Christian home” and guess what?! My dad just straight was a narcissist… no matter how my mom acted.  God didn’t say worship yalls man… God didn’t say slave to yalls man… men should be held to a higher standard. Yall are giving them the bare minimum and that’s not okay. A: Voddie rightfully notes that when believers go their own way (marry unequally yoked in rebellion to God's command), they reap what they sow. "You married him. You got exactly what you wanted".  Equally-yoked married couples focus on pursuing holiness, being a godly spouse. The husband loves the wife as Christ loves the Church, and the wife loves her husband. She is a blessing to him, a treasure, and he is grateful to God, and treats her as such.  In unequally yoked marriages, the be...

Church policy doesnt allow outside or any counseling of those married without both present with the elders, even in abuse situations. Is this biblical?? Q:I have a question about what the Bible says about talking about/seeking counsel from others about marital difficulties, especially in cases of possible verbal/emotional abuse. A friend shared with me that the official position of "her" church. To avoid gossip or the potential to disrespect the marriage covenant, a wife cannot speak with anyone about marital problems unless her husband is also present for the conversation. This includes not talking to friends, counselors, or other family members about any marital difficulties. This church does recognize physical abuse as serious but the pastoral counseling provided doesn’t seem to be recognize other forms of abuse. I recognize that is not uncommon in church circles, but this is the first time I’ve heard it called unbiblical for one spouse to even talk about marital problem...

Re: UY raging, discontent Bipolar ADHD husband whose on & off about God, wife has concern over influencing the kids.  Q: my husband fluctuates between wanting to live a life that brings glory to the Lord and being mostly disinterested in God and "wanting to live a life for himself." He claims to be saved but during the disinterested periods of time will sometimes say that he "wants nothing to do with God" etc. When he’s on fire for the Lord he "wants to be a pastor" (he has preached a few sermons), or wants to lead a youth group, and wants to sing with our kids.  He has been diagnosed as bipolar so I feel like the mental health aspect is a part of this although honestly his mania presents more like ADHD (impulsive with new hobbies/business ideas and wanting to drop money on them) with a side of just being a mean, ragey person. Anyway, I’m not positive where the bipolar diagnosis came from, he found it in his chart from the therapist that he had seen on...

Q: I have been married to my husband for nearly 3 years. We have a 2 yo and I have basically felt unheard, unseen and unloved for a long time now. One year ago I made a big mistake and allowed a one time infidelity issue happen. It comes out to my husband a week ago and I owned up to it and obviously have changed everything since the affair. Within a week he has made the decision he wants a divorce and that’s that. I want my marriage and have prayed constantly. The overwhelming feelings of guilt and of anger of allowing things and not ever being validated are eating me alive.  Where do I go from here, I want to heal and change but I want my family also. Has anyone else been through something like this? A: Im glad you reached out even though it was after the issue got exposed. You should've voiced those feelings to him long ago and sought marriage help, incl pastoral counsel. You need to do damage control immediately cuz you can never remarry again if he leaves you. Do what it takes...

Q: My husband has been verbally abusive for several years now. Yelling & swearing at me in front of our kids. It happens every 1-2weeks. Everytime it leaves me feeling hopeless & numb. He told me that he stopped apologizing to me a while ago because it is making me entitled. I have been compeltely guarded emotionally & physically. I told him that I don’t feel safe with him & he told me that I’m the only one that can change that.  He refused to do marriage counseling because he said it’s a way for me to shame & manipulate him. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want the enemy to win this battle in my marriage. I pray for us everyday & try to be brave. I can not take this for much longer. It is teaching my children that it’s okay to speak to someone this way & to be treated this way.  Please pray for my marriage. I feel stuck & numb. He is not a believer & tells me I am in a cult. A: Unsaved people act as their nature. They're trapped i...

Re: trust & faith husband isn't committing any form of sexual sin with female partner in firefighter/police/military/similar or any job Q:  Need godly advice. I have trust issues, so I’m not sure if that is getting in the way of how I’m thinking right now. My husband is a firefighter. Currently, he has a female partner who is single and has messed up and knowingly had an affair with someone. I understand that is her past and can’t hold that to her now. Anyway, my husband started to tell little lies, but it went on for 7 months before he told me the truth. It wasn’t anything bad, but hiding chewing from me, when I asked what he bought, since he used a card he would lie to my face and stuff like that. He also texted his female partner drunk, nothing sexual. He’s just overly nice to her. Texting her to have a great vacation and birthday, telling her happy birthday he hopes she has the best day. All that said, I just need some Godly advice. I know it’s not cheating, but I kinda fe...

Q: My husband and I were in a fornication relationship for years. I got right with God and he claimed to. We got married and things started back to how they were (problems on his end) before we married. I feel deceived what do i do? 😭 A: I am sorry to hear this happened, many end up like this because of bad advice or rebelliously go ahead with marriage just to be together vs obedient to God. It can be due to immaturity in faith, failure of the church being actively in your life, etc.  It is usually best to wait 4 to 7 years before marrying someone in that kind of situation. He likely "played religious" (as many men do to prevent their good thing spoiling for themselves - from whatever they were getting out of the relationship) for a time, even trapping in marriage. The pastor should've suggested or directed to wait a few years.... to 1. Have him go through a discipleship essentials for new believers course, be part of the mens group, have mature godly men in his life ...

If as a Christian you would like to learn how to better help others with counseling; biblical guidance, see below. Or to prepare and educate yourself so you can live a better Christian life by that godly advice.  And, where necessary make sure you move a counselee to a certified biblical counselor you can direct them to find a counselor.  *Bookmark page to return*  Counseling topics  When counseling is not Biblical  Counsel from the Cross   (vid here )  Do We Really Need Help (podbean) Free counseling course  ⭐ Elementary truths  Living by the Book  Discipleship  Bad news is welcome here  Surprise! Shes not a Christian  How to win your unbelieving spouse  Extreme makeover, heart edition  Selfless living in a selfish world  The manipulative man or woman  Living by faith in the midst of trials   Embracing opportunities to be transformed by grace  Renewing the mind one thought at a time...