CounselingChristians

Q: The last sermon at church was on forgiveness, and I need some advice. Can we forgive but then choose to love someone from a distance?  My mother continues to overstep boundaries, speaks ill of me and everyone in her life, and completely disregards my feelings saying I'm being too sensitive.  I’m not sure how to handle it at this point. I have prayed for years for a stronger relationship with her. It’s unfortunate, as she is a professing Christian who goes to church every week. A: If its those outside our family and church, possibly. But even thrn, your better off keeping things open so you can minister. Dont cut folk off as you may be the only light of Christ they see. You don't want to be like a Jonah. And if both are saved, you bless and help each other grow more like Christ, (Proverbs 27:17, Eccl. 4:12). Today far too many MZ Alpha Gen folk take a cowardly approach to conflict instead of going & seeking to resolve things. They hide out and avoid. And that's wrong ...

Q: Im so confused about my life.  Husband wants a divorce, I don't. We've been through alot. Been together 4 years , married for 2. He doesnt feel things will get better or I won't change into who he needs. (I found God during the hardships of our marriage) no infidelity, just bad fights and arguments.  We are staying in 2 separate rooms at the house. But he still wants to be intimate and have sex , sleep together at night some times, etc.  I let us to because I guess it makes things feel "normal" again so to speak and hope that he wants me. I figured we are still married so isnt it an okay kinda thing.  He still tells me (having sex still, doesn't change his mind) we are getting a divorce.  He's gonna file paperwork next week, and when kids are out of school he said we need to separate.  But will also make comments saying he doesn't want me to find someone else , we can hook up , etc after we separate.... he doesnt say I'm not allowed to find som...

Q: Im so confused about my life.  Husband wants a divorce, I don't. We've been through alot. Been together 4 years , married for 2. He doesnt feel things will get better or I won't change into who he needs. (I found God during the hardships of our marriage) no infidelity, just bad fights and arguments.  We are staying in 2 separate rooms at the house. But he still wants to be intimate and have sex , sleep together at night some times, etc.  I let us to because I guess it makes things feel "normal" again so to speak and hope that he wants me. I figured we are still married so isnt it an okay kinda thing.  He still tells me (having sex still, doesn't change his mind) we are getting a divorce.  He's gonna file paperwork next week, and when kids are out of school he said we need to separate.  But will also make comments saying he doesn't want me to find someone else , we can hook up , etc after we separate.... he doesnt say I'm not allowed to find som...

Q Two ladies from church came to fellowship at my house. My sister was there and some others. One of the ladys attending then invited us to her house. Everyone assumed she invited everyone present. Then we found out she didn't invite my sister who was there when she invited us.  We texted. This was the discussion. Me:  I pray you're well. I have to be honest about something. We're all not happy about what happened with my sister. I understand and respect that you only wanted certain people to come to your place. However, we were all present there when you told us you want us to come to your house, which you should have been clear, direct and specific about who you wanted to come. We all assumed you were talking about everyone present. Its quite rude of you, if I'm honest. You shouldn't do this next time with anyone. Also she mentioned you delete your messages after you send them. Is there a reason for that? Its very strange... I'm not looking to argue. I just wa...

Q: How to get over a toxic friend who deeply hurt me with what she said? We were wonderful, supportive friends for many years, but one day she said that my husband and I were not true Christians because we let our child listen to certain music. But at the same time it was ok for her adult children to gamble in a casino. Our teen boys are still great friends and see each other at events, church events, youth group. I always avoid running into her now. And yes, I have mentioned in a letter to her how I feel and that she hurt me. I just cant get over the friendship and I know it will never be the same as it used to be. How do I let her go? A: Watch this  Healing our Hurts  and know, maybe all is not lost.  The issue is Christian liberty. But also there's need for forgiveness and reconciliation. Neither of you can participate in the Lord's Supper with the church until it is resolved.  Heres some helps: We are united in Essentials. Thus as long as you both believe in the ...

Q: I have been married to my husband for nearly 3 years. We have a 2 yo and I have basically felt unheard, unseen and unloved for a long time now. One year ago I made a big mistake and allowed a one time infidelity issue happen. It comes out to my husband a week ago and I owned up to it and obviously have changed everything since the affair. Within a week he has made the decision he wants a divorce and that’s that. I want my marriage and have prayed constantly. The overwhelming feelings of guilt and of anger of allowing things and not ever being validated are eating me alive.  Where do I go from here, I want to heal and change but I want my family also. Has anyone else been through something like this? A: Im glad you reached out even though it was after the issue got exposed. You should've voiced those feelings to him long ago and sought marriage help, incl pastoral counsel. You need to do damage control immediately cuz you can never remarry again if he leaves you. Do what it takes...

Q: Does anyone else hate motherhood? I love my children with all of my heart but most days I just struggle to even tolerate them. They are always fighting talking back and whining. I feel no joy. I believe I am a pretty good mom except I am not consistent when I comes to discipline. Sometimes I follow through sometimes I give up and walk away. I have given up everything for them. They are in a school that I cannot afford, my youngest is a competitive athlete that drains my bank account. They always want things and I feel like they are ungrateful. I became a mom at 15 & im 32 now. My 11 year old has always had an attitude (literally from birth) and it has been exhausting. I don’t understand how women want so many kids, especially the ones with terrible husbands or no husband at all. My faith in God is a roller coaster of ups and downs. I find myself dreaming of a different life, one that doesn’t exist. A: I’m curious where is their father? It sounds like you are doing this alone? ...