CounselingChristians

Q: The last sermon at church was on forgiveness, and I need some advice. Can we forgive but then choose to love someone from a distance?  My mother continues to overstep boundaries, speaks ill of me and everyone in her life, and completely disregards my feelings saying I'm being too sensitive.  I’m not sure how to handle it at this point. I have prayed for years for a stronger relationship with her. It’s unfortunate, as she is a professing Christian who goes to church every week. A: If its those outside our family and church, possibly. But even thrn, your better off keeping things open so you can minister. Dont cut folk off as you may be the only light of Christ they see. You don't want to be like a Jonah. And if both are saved, you bless and help each other grow more like Christ, (Proverbs 27:17, Eccl. 4:12). Today far too many MZ Alpha Gen folk take a cowardly approach to conflict instead of going & seeking to resolve things. They hide out and avoid. And that's wrong ...

Q: My husband bought a swing set for the kids, which I had no idea until I saw him and an employee bringing the packages into the backyard.  After they got everything in the backyard and he was opening it up he noticed it had a lot of pieces so I asked him how can I help and then he told me what he needed help with so I set up a picnic blanket outside and put the baby on it to play with some toys (we have a 9 month old, a 4 and 6 year old together and a 13 and 18 year old from his previous relationships).  Around dinner time and with us still building the set ...I ordered the kids pizza for dinner because I wouldn’t have time to make dinner. When the pizza arrived the order was wrong and I was annoyed because it happened the last time I ordered but I set up the kids with their pizza then I went back in the backyard where he and his son who is 13 were and I was telling him about how the pizza order was wrong and he got upset with me and told me he doesn’t want to hear about it...

Q: Can you please advise for my situation.  I tore ligaments in my foot I am in a boot and using crutches. I babysit all day yesterday come home to do 2 loads of laundry, I kept on getting up to reset the washer because we have to do that with the washer. Struggling to carrying the clothes to put them away (we have a 1 story level). I was getting really frustrated because my husband was texting me saying I was "ignoring him", so I told him "I was busy doing and struggling and you are just lying on the couch don’t even bother to help and I know you work all day, but I work nonstop". So yes I am mad, I was having a rough day I told him everything was going wrong. Then he left to go somewhere I told him "if you wanted to me to pay attention and spend time with you shouldn’t left". I am trying so hard to communicate with him, and of course I have been sticking up for myself that I am not going to put up with it. He has mental issues like severe depression and...

Q: Do I have to go to church every Sunday? I haven’t been wanting to go every Sunday because I’m having personal issues and need more time to recover. My church is nice, However the person I ride with and attend with has a lot of the reasons I’m having personal issues. So I don’t want to attend every Sunday. I don’t want to personally list what I’m having an issue with her. I’m hoping God will either send me a different church with a way to get there or fix the conflict I’m having. A: Glad you sought out guidance on this. ✨️ No, you are not to run off to another church just based on that. We arent to hide from problems, ignore or let them fester. Scripture tells us to go to those you have a problem with, if they've sinned, and likewise they too are to go to you. It's to be resolved. Of theyre a believer thry ardny gojng to bite your head off, yheyll be open. And if mature theyll be glad you brought it to their attention, even if they arent wrong and you just misund...

Q: How are we to interact with people we have forgiven? Jesus says we are to forgive seventy times seven times (we are to forgive endlessly), but I struggle with knowing how to treat distant/family members who have sinned (sexual abuse) against my immediate family in the past.  I believe I have forgiven them because I feel free from the pain they've caused, but maybe I haven't actually forgiven because I still don't want to be around them. I have felt convicted about my behavior with them, and while it is not outwardly rude or disrespectful, it is not joyous and loving either. I kind of just avoid them. I think Jesus would want me to be kind to them, but I know it would make me uncomfortable to be around them. It makes me anxious because I am getting married in May and will see all of them again.  A: It is good you are working through this to be as Christlike as possible in this area.  First I will note that the unsaved will and can only behave as their sinful nature does...

Q Two ladies from church came to fellowship at my house. My sister was there and some others. One of the ladys attending then invited us to her house. Everyone assumed she invited everyone present. Then we found out she didn't invite my sister who was there when she invited us.  We texted. This was the discussion. Me:  I pray you're well. I have to be honest about something. We're all not happy about what happened with my sister. I understand and respect that you only wanted certain people to come to your place. However, we were all present there when you told us you want us to come to your house, which you should have been clear, direct and specific about who you wanted to come. We all assumed you were talking about everyone present. Its quite rude of you, if I'm honest. You shouldn't do this next time with anyone. Also she mentioned you delete your messages after you send them. Is there a reason for that? Its very strange... I'm not looking to argue. I just wa...

Q: How to get over a toxic friend who deeply hurt me with what she said? We were wonderful, supportive friends for many years, but one day she said that my husband and I were not true Christians because we let our child listen to certain music. But at the same time it was ok for her adult children to gamble in a casino. Our teen boys are still great friends and see each other at events, church events, youth group. I always avoid running into her now. And yes, I have mentioned in a letter to her how I feel and that she hurt me. I just cant get over the friendship and I know it will never be the same as it used to be. How do I let her go? A: Watch this  Healing our Hurts  and know, maybe all is not lost.  The issue is Christian liberty. But also there's need for forgiveness and reconciliation. Neither of you can participate in the Lord's Supper with the church until it is resolved.  Heres some helps: We are united in Essentials. Thus as long as you both believe in the ...