CounselingChristians

Q: I talked with non Christians on how pornography affects the spouse. I was feeling vulnerable but wanted to get my feelings out. The first response was "just leave dummy". So many people of the world just don't understand. I've realized this is why Christians are a safe space for our problems. I don't want to leave. I don't want another person. I want my marriage to be restored and to be able to glorify God with the man I love. I made a covenant and I'm not breaking it because the world thinks leaving is the answer. I will continue to pray and fight for my marriage.  What godly advice can you give on my situation. Thx. A: This response has been genericized a bit while addressing and counseling for the noted Unequally yoked spousal sin issue, since what's said can help everyone.   Firstly, yes! It is right to remain in the marriage covenant. There are very few reasons a believer can divorce a spouse, and only after doing everything possible to save it...

Husband wrestling w convictions & sin surrenders, now avoids home & family life, is mean, nitpicky & negative even to our toddlers.  Q:  My husband and I are both believers, and over the last three years we’ve been actively trying to grow in our walk with Christ. Up until about 6–8 months ago, my husband was also pursuing growth, but lately things have shifted. He’s given up a lot and made some big lifestyle changes, but now he’s wrestling with convictions he never thought he’d have to face. He knows we’re called to surrender it all to Christ if He asks, but he doesn’t really want to let go of certain things. Instead of leaning into those convictions, he’s been pulling away from God—and from us. He’s not abusive, but he can be neglectful—of me, the kids, and our home. He often finds reasons to be gone late, which means he usually gets home after the kids are in bed, and sometimes after I am too. When he is home, he’s not present. He seems depressed, and honestly, h...

A: Yes, we are ministers in love: to discernment, judge righteously, pursue holiness, and that includes encouraging, admonishing, exhorting, and counseling our spouse by bringing up sin we notice, to help each other stay pursuing holiness and by iron shaped iron we help each other walk worthy of our calling, as we serve and love God, and one another. Here’s a carefully crafted, biblically grounded response with godly counsel & wisdom for helping a wife minister to her husband: Response: Yes, it is possible to feel conviction on behalf of your spouse, but it’s important to recognize the Spirit isn’t convicting you of sin; rather, He can use your sensitivity to see sin in your husband’s life as a call to love, exhort, and minister to him. Scripture calls spouses to lovingly shepherd one another toward holiness (Ephesians 5:25–27; 1 Peter 3:7). The Lord often gives believers a heart to intercede for their spouse and to speak truth in love. In your case, your concern about your husband...

Q: I could use some prayers today. I have been extremely unhappy in my marriage for going on a decade. There are times when I would have had justifiable reasons to divorce and didn’t, now I technically don’t and just feel stuck. I have prayed and prayed.  My husband is extremely unenjoyable. He is a TERRIBLE person to everyone in his life, he is rude and snarky, chronically miserable and disrespectful, and I don’t know a single person who can handle him in more than small doses because he drains the energy from everyone he encounters. He is combative, entitled, and just all around brings misery. I have had people who are very calm and passive tell me their first time feeling anxiety stemmed from being around him. He makes life heavy and hard and he destroys my nervous system. And he has been told by too many people, family members, friends, therapists, pastors, and literally says every one except him is wrong. It’s exhausting. A: Prayer has to accompany action.  After someone ...

Q: I REALLY want to honor God and I truly hate divorce but when is enough enough?? I actually can't stand my husband most days he's a great provider he knows how to communicate mostly BUT he is constantly talking down on me I never leave, well I won't say never, but he rarely says anything uplifting he is constantly gas lighting me, throws things at me and when we get in heated arguments it's always my fault he will call me out of my name, he's never punched me but he has hit me with a pillow to the point where my neck was messed up, hes thrown me, hes thrown food away, again... its my fault which I can make things more heated in a way. In return ever since we've moved I barely have desire to cook anymore, and he loves food which causes issues. I dont even know who I am aside from being a wife and a mother..I do have an attitude problem I tend not to open up he things I'm being secretive but I just don't like the reactions... he justifies his angry becau...

Q: My husband thinks gambling on sports isn't a sin. He doesn't read the Bible over his family nor talk about the things of God to me or our children. He thinks he is a Christian. I'm afraid I have finally figured out he isn't one. A: Here are some guiding helps as you navigate life having found that possibly to be true.  With gambling, do know that there are many believers who haven't been convicted of and just never understood the issue with various sins but God can reveal it through godly people in their lives or their Pastors sermons as he teaches the Word in the pulpit or in Bible Study classes. [*Gambling is addressed in a below resource, as are other sins, to help us grow and mature in our Christian walk].  Wives unequally yoked are told in 1 Peter 3:5-6: "In the same way, you wives must submit yourselves to your own husbands. This way, if some of them do not obey the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see ...

Have no bf, not in a relationship, am 28 I am getting concerned I wont find a spouse.  Advice? A: The Bible says and make my petitions known to the Lord. In his perfect timing, he answers. -Philippians 4:6-7 He might want you to grow more in the faith, mature in the knowledge of Scripture until he leads you to the right godly Christian fir a husband. Can I ask if you are missing opportunities? What are you doing to be around Christians to look for one? ...such as are you regularly in young adults Sunday School, singles group at Church, going to singles groups & events at associate churches, getting recommendations from the decons, going to volunteering at solid biblical ministries. Did you go to a solid Christian college? Go to alumni functions, or go to Christian groups from there [current and alumni].  What about attending a reputable Christian conference, a Christian singles conference, working or voluntering at a church mens conference or seminary event(s) somewhere...