CounselingChristians

Q: Need godly counsel My husband is having issues with a girl in our church he gets horrible sexual thoughts about her. All day yesterday he kept thinking about her and I’m trying to be okay about it cause he tells me he doesn’t want to be this way and think these things and it’s better he’s telling me than hiding it but it hurts.  He does have a porn addiction and possibly a sex addiction;  he’s battled for years trying to change... but it’s hard for him it’s really got him bound. He has a very high drive and mines low so that doesn’t help. He’s talked about leaving our church because of this, (but I love our church family and would hate to leave).  Also he stopped going for a month saying he was going to find another church but never did. He says he doesn’t understand it cause he's not drawn to her looks, shes plain/average. I’ve always struggled with a low drive I think from childhood because I was molested. It can be hard cause he has some nasty kinks he wants to ta...

Q: I need your point of view, and I'd really appreciate it if you could follow it up with verses from the Bible My partner and I have been discussing a topic tonight around forgiveness, and we mentioned r@pe, I told him that if somebody r@ped somebody else or many people but after a while they felt remorse and really bad about what they've done and asked for God's forgiveness they're gonna be forgiven (I'm a victim but it's not up for me to decide what God wants because he sees what I don't and he's a forgiving God), but if they didn't feel remorse they're not gonna be forgiven even if they ask God for forgiveness because God knows what's in our hearts. But my partner says that if somebody has r@ped somebody else then they're not gonna be forgiven, or they should not be forgiven by God even if they felt remorse and genuinely asked for forgiveness , and he also says that he should not go to heaven and happen to meet that person there with ...

Q: Can you have a party life and still be close with God? I'm ashamed to admit that I have become someone I don't like. I recently turned 21, and started going out to parties with my mother and getting drunk.  I've skipped youth group once to drink; I know that's wrong, and I've talked to God about it and apologized again and again. I tell myself that I know this isn't me, that I know better and don't wanna be a part of it anymore, but I just get pulled right back into it. I still go to church every Thursday and Sunday. I still study the word of God almost every day. I sit and talk to God all the time. But I'm wondering if he's mad at me... Idk, am I a bad person for doing this? Am I becoming a lukewarm Christian, am I even a Christian?  A: Believers need to know all our sins are forgiven (past present future) by Jesus when we got saved. After salvation we are progressing in/growing in sanctification. We will not be perfected until we step into eter...

Re: trust & faith husband isn't committing any form of sexual sin with female partner in firefighter/police/military/similar or any job Q:  Need godly advice. I have trust issues, so I’m not sure if that is getting in the way of how I’m thinking right now. My husband is a firefighter. Currently, he has a female partner who is single and has messed up and knowingly had an affair with someone. I understand that is her past and can’t hold that to her now. Anyway, my husband started to tell little lies, but it went on for 7 months before he told me the truth. It wasn’t anything bad, but hiding chewing from me, when I asked what he bought, since he used a card he would lie to my face and stuff like that. He also texted his female partner drunk, nothing sexual. He’s just overly nice to her. Texting her to have a great vacation and birthday, telling her happy birthday he hopes she has the best day. All that said, I just need some Godly advice. I know it’s not cheating, but I kinda fe...

Q: Am I allowed to be angry with God? He took my dog, my best friend in the world, away from me 7 years ago. I'm not myself anymore. I am trying hard to live for the Lord but it's hard when there's always some anger there. A: I think you need to look at this in truth.  Fallen man [since Eden] and his sin, [and continued sin 6,000 yrs], is the reason we are in this mess on Earth. The wages of sin is death. We earn what we worked for. And the sin debt owed to God [for our crimes] is due, payable upon death. It will either be paid for in eternal Hell under God's wrath forever, or has been paid by Christ on the cross [if you are born again].  God is not to blame for the Fall. Man is.  We only deserved death and damnation the moment we 1st sinned after birth. God is gracious and patient with us wicked humans, and went as far as [extreme lengths and cost] through Jesus, in order to redeem us [buy us back from the curse], to set aside a people for Him at his pleasure, mercy...

Q: My husband and I got married last year . I also became a Christian last year . He was already a Christian . We have a good relationship for the most part .  We have one main issue that is a struggle of sorts💔. I came into our relationship with a dog (who’s been with me for the last 11 years). My husband is not a dog person and my little dog has some anxiety issues and so he has snipped at him a couple times. The dog is missing most of his teeth so even when he snips, he’s not causing any damage. My husband hates my dog. I don’t know how to deal with this. This am he got super upset because the dog vomited on the carpet 🥹. He keeps saying , I need to get rid of the dog . And I know that if something is coming between us then I need to do something. This dog is my life . He’s like my child . Even if I gave him away , I would resent my husband for it . I don’t know what to do. I keep praying to God to help me . I’m so heartbroken about this . A: If he loves you [ & as Christ...

Q: What does the bible say about emotional and mental abuse in a marriage, is that grounds for divorce? A: No. But, if he leaves you then you are free. We as believers are not allowed to run away when we "no longer like what we married". There are very very few exceptions for divorce and only after all attempts has failed. And that's pointing to important reasons. If he's unsaved, he's just living in his sin nature and can't do otherwise unless God saves him. If he's saved, he needs biblical counseling, he's living in sin, and church discipline.  Here's help on how to navigate married life in these situations. On Abuse issues  The Bible on emotional abuse  Emotional abuse addressed   Navigating feelings after abuse Dealing with a manipulator   Resources for the married Voddie series: Love & Marriage I would give similar advice  here  regarding non physical abuse.  God bless