Teen Lonely & Need Friends
Q: I am a Teen. I’ve been praying for new friends, and im still all alone w no friends. Is there something I need to be doing to contribute or should I just keep waiting on God?
A: You do need to be active about it. You pray & go. Not pray and stay. Trust God and go. Be actively go-ing in your life.
I had three years without friends and I was so lonely, so I tried finding friends in places I shouldn't have. Sometimes God isolates us so that he can refine us. When we are completely alone, that is the time when you can get super close to God, you're free of distractions, you learn to rely on and find your strength from Him. God actually used my time of isolation to reveal part of His plan for my life, one of my biggest regrets was not realizing that I should've been praying and working towards that then, instead of now. From my own experience, you definitely should wait on God. He has plans for you and for now has put you in a place where you can truly dive deep into His Word and pray over what He wants for you!
You don't want to try to force finding friends in a desperate kind of way bcuz you end up worse off by latching on to anyone and they might drag you away from faith and keep you in a "wilderness" wasting experience. Trust and wait on God's timing, while prayerfully seeking His guidance & direction. He will bless you with the right friends in due time.
Some ways to find godly friends...
Look in your area.
Examples:
* Youth group at church. Let the leader know you are in need of friends and ask him to guide you towards a few, or announce a friend-seeking moment. "Raise hands if you are in need of a good friend". Then match folk.
* Your schools Christian group. Ask who are in the same denomination as you, and let them know you are looking for friends & give them rsvp invite over for a Sunday lunch after church and make it a regular gathering Tea Time with The Lord's Ladies. You could make 3 or 4 friends by that.
* Outreach. Church outreach has adults there who have kids. Even if theyre 2 yrs younger than you or a year or two older and still in School for at least 2 years, you can have a mix of age group friends so when some go off to college you still have a couple you can connect with.
* those teens can introduce you to some of their younger friends too, so you can connect with them too.
* Associate churches nearby. Check out their youth groups. Meet the leader & explain your need... and try to make connections there, and invite people over to your home.
> you do not need to join their church, but can be a youth visitor occasionally.
> get access to their fb youth group
> Interact there and on fb and invite teens over who seem to be truly Christian
> Look on fb for their events announcements and go visit the events, & mingle.
*Hobbies. What hobbies do you have (that can be seen as godly use of your time), where you can join a local community group [and look for same denomination Christians there]. They can guide you to other believers too.
*What local Christian colleges are there nearby?
> Find out the "biblical" protestant ones and see what campus activities they have there. At a few schools.
- If you are a 11th grader, and outgoing, you can look for godly Freshmen to befriend so you know good students to rely a bit on when you finally get to college. You will have a year or two to lightly get their help getting situated in campus life, and they can be networking partners for job placements in the future. Even if you end up at a diff college they can still be a good help and making long term adult friendships.
> befriend the ones who do not drink alcohol because you will have better quality friendships.
> filter out the ones who appear to be Christian in name only and not by godly living. You might need to find several to connect with at first to find that out. Get their socials & follow them. Lurk around their social media account. And dont dismiss friends of friends.... locate some of their friends on social media who are also at their college. When you meet up you could ask for irl introduction to so & so.
> Get invited by these folk to clubs on campus to meet Freshmen.
> Ask what Christian events and groups are there on campus that might allow you to meet some folk there, and have em bring you and introduce you there. (*avoid friendships of opposite sex; theyre landmines).
Note: Freshmen are looking to get integrated into college and adult life so they won't have a ton of time for you, but if you stay lightly connected year by year and try to connect on campus with them, by the time you get to college they'll see you as an adult equal and you'll have formed friendships of sorts and be drawn in closer by them by then.
After high school a lot of friendships dwindle, after college a lot of friendships dwindle. Friendships dwindle when you move towns too. It is a part of life. You can lightly stay connected today on social media & do the bday holiday text/card mailed thing so that's good socials exists today [Didnt in your parents and grand parents era]. Thru this, you retain a connection even if not really connected. So when u are done with college you have a network to tap into for help finding a job for your career. Though you will need to focus on local folk who you can befriend for long term/life. Follow the same principles as above for finding friends in adult circles. If you move cities for another career move, you have to start over again. But thank God for churches 😊.
There's several places to serve at church and meet new people in Sunday School and fellowship groups. Again, looking for the mature genuine believers to befriend. And you will do well.
Make a list of all the essential things you believe (faith related), and activities you like doing or wouldn't mind doing, and go from there as a friendship starting guide.
Hope this helps 🙏.
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