Counseling Questions - vetting
You can ask these questions by phone or by email.
Questions to ask a Christian Counselor:
Do you read the Bible every day in quiet time with God?
Did you get a degree in the Biblical counseling field, if so what school and grad year.
Do you also have a Biblical Counselung certification or are liscened, and is it currently valid?
Ask if they "took an oath to the DSM". If so, pass on them.
Was the book Exemplary Wife by Martha Peace used as a text book when you were in school for your biblical counseling related degree?
What is your opinion on the book Exemplary Wife by Martha Peace?
If not in the answers above, do you have any concerns about her book encouraging men to keep abusing &/or for women to continue being abused in a marriage (with the wife seen as the main problem person) based on your view of her teaching in her book?
Do you have concerns that pastors or counselors view her book as Scripture?
Pick which of these statements is true in how you handle your marriage counseling for a case where both claim to be Christian:
1. Men are to be held to a higher standard biblically when there are problems in the marriage because they are to be the leader of the home, the spiritual leader and loving their wife as Christ loved the church.
Also women and men are equally responsible for living godly lives, and in marriage problems both need to be praying for their spouse, for examining themselves to see what sins they committed (which is responsible for this situation getting to where it is) and how they can both change. That both need to repent to God and seek forgiveness from Him but also from each other. And bith need to do the individual work to accomplish the change to restore the marriage; putting the issue in the past and moving forward renewed and new, stronger too.
If he refuses to change and continues to abuse her then the counselor will sadly need to recommend or agree the best course is divorce so she can be safe from violent escalation or death, and she can live in peace with biblical blessing.
OR
2. Women are to pray for their abusive husbands to change, and seek out all her sins and faults, but he does not need to do that because she is to submit to him no matter what [he has no faults in this].
And the problem exists because she is not submitting in any form he feels "submitting" means. She is also not allowed to divorce him... and will be counseled & told she must stay in that abusive marriage and that she cannot divorce him [with freedom to remarry].
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*(what you want to find out is, if the issue is abuse in marriage, "how do they typically counsel on this and if it is repeat physical abuse do they agree with seperation and divorce if necessary?"). Find out things like that, if needed in order to pick someone appropriate.
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What are the weaknesses or biases you might have while counseling someone of your gender while also counseling someone of another gender (in individual or couples counseling for married people)?
How many couples have you counseled in this specific area?
How many couples have you counseled in this area who never finished their full counseling with you?
How many couples youve counseled did finish the full counseling with you.
How long have you been a counselor?
Have you ever been accused of abuse or sexual assault or had a relationship with any past or current counselees?
Have you ever lost your liscense or had it suspended?
Have you ever lost your certification?
Have you ever been sued over bad counseling or because a counselee committed suicide due to your counseling?
I believe there is value in connecting a professional counselor and my pastor in the counseling - so there is oversight over the counselee(s) to ensure progress and change happen. Do you and are you willing to include my pastor in the counseling and progress, so there is accountability with the actionable steps to be taking to complete the counseling and the change through the course of the completed counseling?
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