Got saved- now marriage is unequally yoked

Got saved - now unequally yoked marriage

Q: Need godly advice 🥺.

I been with my husband for 12 years and we have 2 beautiful kids together. A 9 and a 3 year old. My husband is a non practicing catholic. So was I, but a few months ago I started going to church, reading my bible, and just trying to get closer to God. Let me just say that getting closer to God has opened my eyes and it has taken all the pain from been years on depression away. now I consider myself a Cristian. 

I constantly talk about how much I love God to my husband and he always seems bothered when I talk to him about that. He says it doesn’t bother him but I can tell it does bother him. Today we got into a little argument and he brought out my relationship with God. He told me that ever since I started going to church I’m not the same anymore and he doesn’t like that. Before I followed God I was a mess. I used to drink a lot , curse a lot, wear revealing clothes, and used to listen inappropriate music, etc, etc. Not anymore. 

I love my husband so much but he’s expecting me to be the same old person as I was and I don’t want to. I have tried to make him understand me, I even have inviting him to come to church with me once in a while but he doesn’t want to. I don’t know what to do . I feel like he’s making me choose between my faith and him. I’m so heartbroken 💔

A: There are many types of situations we find ourselves in life. It is hard to be in an unequally yoked marriage, but God has called you to live in it since you were saved after marrying.

This will be hard because Scripture says there is a cost to following Christ. The world (including family) will treat you as it did Jesus, and the apostles and prophets. It divides. It brings a sword. You certainly will feel heartbroken, but let that keep you close to God and to be a person of prayer. 

This will be your mission field now, living godly before your husband (and kids). Perhaps at some point God will save him too and you can be team Christ. Since you are a woman you are not the spiritual leader of the home; a godly man is the leader of the home. He is not saved so you need to follow and obey God above him (when it conflicts with righteousness and obeying God). That includes going to church and taking the kids there, -- and you are also now a example and witness to your kids as you now "train them up in the Lord", at home, out and about, and at church. 

You will need to grow in godly living so you can be this good witness/light of Christ in the home. God will use this time to grow you in faith and keep you reliant on, focused on, and seeking comfort in Him. 

One good thing about him in all of this is that he is not a practicing catholic. This means his heart isnt hard heartedly clinging deeply to a false religion. He is just a regular unsaved person who has some kind of thoughts about God. You can use some info here to address these objection type or clear answers on anything he may need to be educated on between the religion of RCC and Christianity. 

He may even be open to the Bible a little bit; Unsaved people are usually (in idolatry) accepting of some things, such as morality, good thoughts towards Jesus in some areas etc, so perhaps an idea is to place (a copy of) your memory verse for the day on the bathroom mirror, where he will see it. And perhaps God can chip away at his heart and mind through it. I recommend verses that point to the essentials of Christianity, the attributes of God and the Gospel. You can find those verses here. 

If he cant stand anything about God or your transfirmative change and leaves you... God has allowed it and freed you to go seek a saved godly man. But assume you are in this for the long haul, and be prayerful🙏 daily for his salvation (and your kids). 

Here are resources that will help you in this unequally yoked relationship...

1. Living unequally yoked - resources 

http://believersanswers.blogspot.com/2023/08/unequally-yoked.html

3. This resource for growing believers has a section for women and marrieds so make sure to also go through those. It also has helps for being a godly parent, and guiding your kids. 😊🤗

http://longertweets.blogspot.com/2022/04/resources-believers.html

Find friends at church you can talk about the things of God with, and not him [since he is not willing to listen or open to it]. For the most part you will now be a "living witness" to him. He may overhear some conversations in person at home when friends come over, or by phone or video calls with them. He may hear you playing a sermon or something at home, on weekend or Sunday. If you play those or a faq type educational podcast (such as Living Waters; two were catholic, one is arab and another is ethnically jewish) on specific episodes, then go ahead and give that a whirl (reservedly). It is better for him to hear these things from others than you... even Jesus wasnt listened to in his home town (or by his siblings for a long time). So dont overdo it.  

Live "showing the love of God" which includes self control, grace, mercy, forgiveness, patience, towards your spouse all the time. The world mistreated Jesus and you are not going through what he endured. So at many times you will be suffering for God. For the sake of shining forth Christ (as a new creation) and with the hopes to draw him to Salvation. Be more of a selfless servant than a person who assumes theyll be treated right [in a sin stained world of sinners that's impossible; esp if you live with one]. *There is a section in the above link around the last page which discusses this.  

The born again know this world is full of sin and suffering but look forward to the coming sin free eternity in glory where we will forever be with our Savior. We are eternalminded while traveling through this sin stained world. 

*Bookmark this page so you can go through it all in the coming weeks and month. 

God bless, ✝️ and God be with you.