Unsaved teen in a Christian home - help!*

Q: I need some guidance, please. It appears clear that our teen is not saved. As a mom, what is there to do besides prayer, catechism, discipleship, and even homeschool (all these have we done since early in his life)? I have such a heavy heart for our teen. Please give me some encouraging advice.

Although we correct him, discipline him, love him, and pray with him, he adamantly lies and has a tendency to be lazy.  I'm very discouraged right now.

I do believe God has His own timing and He is the One who saves. But what is a mother to do? It's so grieving that our teen does not have any convictions nor repentance since he doesn't have the Holy Spirit. We have been going through the study of reformed Christian apologetics and he does agree and recognizes it all as true.

A:  Here are some things to consider to help you in areas you might not be doing.

What does "the childs" daily spiritual life look like? Are your children reading the Bible daily? Discussing questions and what they learned with you afterwards? Are they being challenged how to apply what they read to their life? ...And are they journaling this?

Have you taken them through Importance of God's Holiness, understanding mans sinfulness, and even through the bibles lessons on living a God honoring godly life - Christian righteous living studies?

Have you had regular discussions on why Jesus is important, needed, and why we need to respond to the Gospel?  Maybe child has never had (any/many) open discussions with you cuz you dont initiate/engage them outside educational settings?

You could have them subscribe to Cold Case Christianity on yt and go thru those playlists for faq (with them).

Heres some helpful content from them. You can all watch the videos together and have discussions afterwards. Open questions time. 

Have you ever done this: Have a solid biblical presentation of the Gospel? NeedGod.com and then discussing it (in seriousness).

Do you require memorizing memory verses (with family) about God and righteous living? This hids essential truths in their hearts & minds.

Heres a video study on God's Holiness you can go through together. 

And some on the 10 Commandments as a sort of guide of revealing righteousness & how we fall short, but also discussing ways to be sensitive to seeking out & killing sin/ conquer sin.  

At some point you need to or should have a come to Jesus conversation with him by having a Gospel convo with a call to action. Perhaps that is where you need to focus.

About the lying, you need to address it and have a way to combat that. Including having him repent to God and apologize to you about lying, but also use it to guide him to be truthful, and killing that sin whenever he commits it, to be growingly-living righteously. Give him support to be open and truthful so you can guide him on how to handle it the next time he is tempted to lie/sin, and keep doing that. As a young person he (like us believers) will fail to live perfectly, but should be guided to purposely progressively grow in righteousness and conquer that sin. He needs a mindset change and you will need to guide him into that, and how to think and live out being truthful. It helps grow his communication skills and confidence that he can be trustworthy and handle things well.

Explain biblically the serious consequences of living a life of a liar, and how it shows he is not right with God (probably salvifically but also in fellowship to Him if saved; it blocks prayer and etc).

It is possible he believes and could be saved but just not growing. So through the Gospel convo... find out. Then guide further, regularly to help him grow well in the Faith. 

Finally,
It's important to remember it's not up to us to grow the tree but it is important that we plant the seeds (preach the gospel) and water the ground (pray for the people who heard the gospel). God will grow the tree and make it bear fruit in His time. Keep doing what you're doing mom/parents. There's nothing more beautiful then a parent who raises their kids to know the Lord and who ferverantly continues to pray, who is concerned for their child's salvation.  Trust in Christ, His grace is sufficient for us.

Keep praying. God will listen to the prayers and petitions of his saints on the behalf of others. See & meditate on Scriptures like these, Psalm 145:18, Ephesians 6:18, 2 Peter 3:9. and have patience.

It is reassuring that he has heard the word and you state that he knows it and that he does agree and has recognition of the truth. Take that as reassurance that he is not struggling with the truth or in opposition to the truth but with accepting in faith of the truth. Trust in the perfect will and timing of Gods holy spirit. Stay vigilant in prayer and vigilant to offer the testimony of Gods grace when the opportunity arrises. He very well could be under conviction but his response is still in the works of God and the Holy Spirit. May he be saved and have assurance of it.

Keep guiding your children.

Hope this helps. 🙂

Additional Resources:
Books:
Devoted by Tim Challies

Parenting Books
Parenting Resources that might help

Evangelism Resources to utilize for answering FAQ and starting conversations whenever, wherever.