People hurt my feelings so I left church. Was I wrong?
Q: People hurt my feelings so I left church. Was I wrong?
I grew up going to church. I was born and raised in the church that I have attended for the past 29 years.
I learned how to play the guitar sometime in high school and I started playing for my church's worship team. I was the only female playing an instrument and I feel like I was never taken seriously. I was never taken into consideration when they had events, like when it came to matching outfits I was always wearing something else because the memo never made it back to me. The engineer never learned my name, even though I was there multiple times a week for practice and services. My guitar was constantly without any sound once the service started. I never made it a thing because I knew that I wasn't playing for anybody. I was doing it for God and because it was what I love to do and most importantly, bc He knew my intentions and my heart. But one day, just like many other times, my electric guitar did not have any sound in the monitors so I put my guitar down, I left the altar and I went to sit downstairs as everybody proceeded to practice. Nobody ever asked me what was wrong. Why I wasn't playing. I went to church one Sunday and after the service, I grabbed all of my things, packed it all up, and I went home. I haven't been back since. I probably didn't make the right decision by leaving church, but I also didn't want to be anywhere that I was not appreciated. I wasn't valued. It's been a couple of months and nobody has bothered to reach out which makes me feel validates what I was feeling the entire time. that I was not valued, Didn't matter whether I was there or not and it's a really horrible feeling.
I went this past weekend to pick my mom up from church because we were going out for dinner afterwards and as I was waiting to pick her up, I saw a lot of people who saw me too. I even saw the pastor and I was not even acknowledged. Nobody came up to me. I am not expecting to be treated like the prodigal son but some acknowledgment or somebody reaching out to see if everything's OK would have been very appreciated.
I don't know if it's Wrong of me to be upset or feel this type of way but I miss church. I miss playing my guitar for Him, but I also don't want to go somewhere that I'm not gonna be acknowledged, valued, or appreciated. I know nobody sees the sacrifices that we make in order to do what we do for Him.
I am a full-time college student as well as having a full-time job, and I always made it to practice. I always made it early before service for sound checks. I always made sure I was there and I spent hours practicing at home until my fingers hurt too much to keep going. I'm complaining about it but I would keep doing it without a second thought.
I just hate the situation and that I've distanced myself from God because of it. I guess what I want to know is if I'm overreacting and upset for something not important
A: So from what I read yes you were in the wrong. And have a wrong mindset about all of this. But that can be corrected 🙂.
1.First.. God didnt do this so why did you turn from God? That isnt logical. What you did with that - was way worse that your perceived snubbing by others. Also you can't flee from God he is omniscient; all seeing. Scripture says there's no where we can flee from Him.
2. They likely dont know theres a problem, so they havent sinned against you. You shouldve sought sorting out/counsel with them right then, as it hapened. You allowed feelings and resentment to enter & fester.
3. You shouldve met w music director to discuss. Maybe even Pastor after, if needed. Scripture says to go to those who you have something against. Meet with him and lovingly share the situation. Seek reconcilliation & restoration.
>Ask the music director [going forward in his job] to ensure everyone is included, contacted, knows whats going on for music (week to week); properly kept in the loop, music checked rightly, included and not treated invisible. *This doesnt mean you need to [nor need to seek to] serve in main worship music anymore.
>if you do also schedule & meet the Pastor... I would lovingly and from concern ask how come the church let you fall through the cracks? No one called when you were missing for worship music, nor Sunday School, nor from Service. Its been x timeframe, you left feeling hurt, and it might be good for him to make sure outreach contacting is part of the leaderships regular practice going forward. Others may have left for other reasons too and the folks hes Shepherding, and responsible to God for, are being left by the wayside.
4. You said you are doing it for God, but then appear to want acknowledgment 🙃... those are opposites. You serve the Lord and shouldnt care about the latter. You allowed sin to enter in and Satan to drive you from the church, and God. [And stunt your growth and walk in holiness].
Repent to God, & go back to church.
You can still go and resolve and restore the relationship, but... you dont need to serve in music. You can ask to play for teens & children at small church events, in Scripture song segments in Sunday School, and in vbs and at other opportunities. 😊
Here are some good helps on the topic:
God bless
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