Till Dog do us part? *
Q: My husband and I got married last year . I also became a Christian last year . He was already a Christian . We have a good relationship for the most part .
We have one main issue that is a struggle of sorts💔. I came into our relationship with a dog (who’s been with me for the last 11 years). My husband is not a dog person and my little dog has some anxiety issues and so he has snipped at him a couple times. The dog is missing most of his teeth so even when he snips, he’s not causing any damage. My husband hates my dog. I don’t know how to deal with this. This am he got super upset because the dog vomited on the carpet 🥹. He keeps saying , I need to get rid of the dog . And I know that if something is coming between us then I need to do something. This dog is my life . He’s like my child . Even if I gave him away , I would resent my husband for it . I don’t know what to do. I keep praying to God to help me . I’m so heartbroken about this .
A: If he loves you [ & as Christ loves the Church] he would care about what you care about and animals. The dog came with you. He should do what is needed in training and therapy with the dog so the dog and he are more amicable together. The dog senses negativity from him so of course doggie will be protective of you and keep him at arms distance. Your husband needs to work on his heart and to have a loving happy home. Besides it appears he has anger issues, which is concerning, plus how will He deal with other issues that arise in the marriage if he is angry. What if he's angry at you in a few years when your pregnant or behaves that way towards your children? Regardless if you can or will have children, my concern is how he's treating you in the future, beyond this issue.
I heard of a Christian couple who run a hospice rescue for dogs out of their home, can not tell you the amount of senior dogs they get from people have had the dog whole life. They give them up for various reasons but none of them matter to the dog. The outcome is always the same. The dog is very confused, hurt, sad, depressed and it's just a very tramatizing & long adjustment period. He came into the relationship knowing you love snd care for this pet and shouldve done all he could to bridge the gap. You are that dogs whole life, even a dog I've had only a short time deserves continued love and care. They are on this earth for such a small amount of time and give their entire lives to their owners. The amount of love and loyalty is incredibly hard to find in a human. I know you don't plan on giving the dog up and that makes me happy. He's not long for this earth. We all make sacrifices and I feel like he just needs to be loving and considerate to you both, plus it's only a little while longer until the dog passes.
I am concerned if he wants you to get rid of the dog and is harboring bitterness or anger, what else is he capable of if things don't go his way? Will he possibly harm you or toss you aside or throw you away when he no longer likes you? This has real world and real marriage implications, so he nedss to deal with his anger issues now before they fester and grow and one day he explodes.
A good Christian friend of mine, around age 50, married on 20 yrs, her husband wanted a dog. She wasn't a fan of dogs, but as a gift after his mom passed they got him a dog. A big ol lab at that. It didn't take long for her to warm up. There's an adjustment period but he should understand the dog is going through a big change, and they both need time and help to acclimate. But a spouse should always strive their best to do all they can (including w professional help) to get to a place where both are friendly and esp he as a higher being made in God's image. God made all creatures big and small and the Fall dragged them and us into this brokenness with problems everywhere. As the bigger person we need to go above and beyond with all of God's creatures, and out of live since believers especially have Love as a Fruit of the Spirit, in proper measure (unlike the unsaved corrupted version of love).
He needs counseling on anger issues, to conquer that sin immediately, and have the godly men at church guide him and hold him accountable to all these areas of holy living.
I'm not sure where such dog and spouse therapy trainings are for becoming friendly to each other, you can talk to a solid training g facility but also on the notes I've made here he should get biblical counseling for that. It's affecting your marriage and he's not being a good leader or husband in this area.
We all need to grow in our faith and keep growing in sanctification. Esp him as head/leader and spiritual leader of the home. I hope these help you both. 🫂😊
I am not sure if he really is a Christian, you would know that better than I would, if not now, likely within 3 or 4 years of marriage.
Seek further counsel from your Pastor if that's the case, and use the below resources to help you live godly before him & be blessed. If he is saved and living as a true Biblical leader and spiritual leader at home but simply needs to conquer his sinful emotions then guide him to get that dealt with (lovingly) as you both address the dog issue. God may be using this to prune and grow him spiritually, so when he faces other situations in life at home, work or anywhere, he can have the biblical mindset and proper self control over his emotions and thoughts.
God bless.
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