Daughter passed recently, has a grandson, but the father moved on already.

Q: Need advice. My daughter passed away of cancer last July 4th. Her husband is filling the void with a new woman some 4 months now. He and my grandkids are a huge part of my life and I don't want to lose my relationship with my son in law snd grandkids. He's invited us over for Easter and the girlfriend and her kids will be there. I still can't accept he has a new woman but he really wants us to come and meet her. What should I do and what if I can't handle it once I'm there. I don't want to make a scene.

A: The dynamic changed because of her death. The marriage covenant ended at her death, so it makes sense he would find comfort in someone else and try to move on. Yes you are and always will be the grandparents 😊✨️ and should be in your grandkids in their lives, but you'll have to take a back seat to the traditions and ways he chooses as he moves forward. 

I pray they go to church, or you at least can have them sometimes and for summer vbs. Truthfully my "parents" dumped me at my grandparents every weekend almost my young life... and while they did it to have time to themselves... it was a blessing to me as my godly grans took me to church, (and I got saved and fed and grew in the faith there). So idk if they're unsaved, but if so, try to float the idea of taking him for the weekend so "they" can have time together. If it becomes standard, even if he breaks it off with her or sees many women, you're providing stability, connection to their mom, and most importantly... training them up in the Lord. 

So go when invited, and be a loving blessing regardless. 

But do start different traditions in the family now [at your home within your biological family] if everything was always at your place for holidays and vacations. You might need to join husbands side if hes alive, or join your siblings gatherings, or host single and widows at your home, and serve at church more. 

As to grieving. I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope this can help you through this time.

http://snsanswers.blogspot.com/2023/08/counseling-grief.html

Tbh sometimes I'm glad we never had kids as I've got incurable cancer now and couldn't imagine leaving them behind (with my husband, his family or mine if they were young). Im glad God gave you a child and a special love between you and her, and with her & him, and the child yall were blessed while she was here🫂, all these years... and that you have a grandchild still 😊✨️.

Also, I am glad hes trying to include you! You can definitely tell him it's hard for you still, but you're trying to continue on and love on them both. And ask for his patience. But yes... do go! 😀

It's harder when the spouse doesn't want you in the picture due to grief or trying to move on, as youd have to include lawyers in those cases. It's such a grace and blessing that you didn't have to go through that heartache. Praise God. 

God bless