Is it a sin to not want kids? -
Q: Is it a sin to not want/have kids as a woman?
When I was a kid I remember saying I never wanted kids and every adult always told me that I would change my mind when I’m older. That “they said the same thing” and eventually I’d fall in love with the idea of being a mother.
Well, I never changed my mind. I have yet to fall in love with the idea of being a mother.
There has never been a time where I looked at a cute baby video and felt baby fever. I’ve never walked passed the baby aisles in Wal-Mart and daydreamed about the cute onesies I’d put my future baby in. I’ve never daydreamed about having matching outfits with a potential future daughter. Or being the fun sports mom that bakes cookies for her child’s game. None of these things have ever crossed my mind.
Of course I think babies are cute and silly. I’ll see cute videos of a baby and smile. But not to the extend where I think “I can’t wait to have a baby of my own.”
A lot of people hear this and they assume I’m a liberal. Or someone who hates kids. When infact, I am the complete opposite.
I am very passionate about saving babies from abortion. I am very passionate about keeping our children in church. Protecting our children from harm.
I am also passionate about kids being kids. Example; the hurricane destroyed one of the play sets in my town. I saw little children everyday at that playground and it broke my heart to know those kids lost their play set. But once it was rebuilt even better, it was like a warm sensation in my heart to know those innocent beautiful babies had their play set back.
I don’t hate children and I never have. I truly care for our children.
I just do not want to be a mom myself. I’ve prayed about it thinking maybe something is wrong with me. I’ve tried to find everything I can in the Bible about it. I’ve asked about it at church to which I was told “it’s okay not to have kids”.
Honestly, I don’t even have a guilty feeling about it the way I do when I ACTUALLY sin. The thought of never being a mother makes me feel like I’m disobeying God. Or sinning.
Obviously, when I gossip, cuss, or do anything sinful I feel a pity. A guilt. But I do not feel that way when I picture my life as never being a mother. Which is what makes me confused.
I don’t feel guilty about it. I have yet to feel convicted by God about it. Everyone I ask at church says it’s fine.
So, is it???
Obviously if it’s in Gods will for me to be a mother than I KNOW I’ll be okay. If God wants me to be a mother than that is what’s going to happen. But, if I never do become a mother, is that bad? Like, if God did not make it happen, and I actively did not make it happen, am I not being a “true woman”??
A: If you plan to live single your whole life then you won't have kids. If you marry... God's design is the fruit of intimacy is a baby. Children are a gift from God, and a responsibility as stewards of His humans he created in the womb, with a purpose for their life. The parents job is to train them up in the Lord to send them into the world to share the Gospel, serve Him and repeat.
It is an area of submission and trust. To become less of self and more who God calls us as believers and humans to be, and the roles he has given us. We can't try to cut off the "work" God has planned for our life by rejecting in rebellion having kids. So yes it's a sinful mentality that we need to realign to biblical truth. All sin is sin regardless of the value-hierarchy we put on it as fallen humans, or try to make excuses for.
As noted before, if you rightly live holy in purity before marriage, and don't get married, youll never have sex, then you won't have kids. If you marry...God's design will bear a baby as fruit of intimacy. Its how he designed us, and how He puts humans into the world.
If we are saved, we love God and obey. We agree with God, and seek to live in and fulfill our role and purpose of which he designed us for and to do, as women, as husband and wife, and as one seeking to do God's will, follow His plan for our life, and to Trist Him as he has a good plan for us and it is part of the future of humanity on earth, as well as what he will do through us in reaching people for the Lost and loving and serving the Brethren, as we serve, worship, live for, and glorify God. Be a good servant and submit to and serve Him -your God, King, Lord and Savior.
So since your understanding if you marry and have kids your fine, then you would submit to that and it's right. So don't focus on it or think about it until unless you find a godly suitor one day whom you marry. It will be a moot point by then 😉.
Also remember that we are in a fallen world; corruption entered. This means people can have genetic defects that affect women. Some women can't get pregnant or God closes the womb. So if that possibility happens... you dont need to worry about it.
But if you get pregnant, then it was God's will. 😊✨️
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