Will God be mad at me for leaving my marriage?

Q: We got married in a year ago, been together for 3 years, but after marriage and I got baptized this year... we had a lot of trials and temptations came. We would argue a lot and fight a lot we got through it but he has always had this desire to look at girls lustfully. I got so over it that I cheated on him just for him to leave me.

We have hit each other too and honestly it is so draining; I get anxiety attacks and I feel I mostly get them from being around him. Through all of that he says he’s been a Christian his entire life. I am new & I don’t know much about Christianity, but I feel I shouldn’t have married him. We fight a lot we argue over small stuff last time we argued he just left me crying, and did nothing until I got a panic attacked and then he reacted as if I was going crazy. I’m so tired of it yesterday my mother told us she’s over it and says we should represent God and respect each other [she isn’t Christian and doesn’t like Going to church but it really says a lot of how we aren’t representing Christ] and idk If I should stay or leave. He doesn’t want marriage consulting, and I’m going to therapy for my anxiety attacks. Will God be mad at me for leaving my husband ?

A: First, I'm glad you sought advice, even though your MIL isn't saved. I am hoping the good outcome from this, may lead her towards Christ. 

Second, You can't leave. You both committed adultery. If you divorce you can not remarry.

“But if she does, [divorce] she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.” 1 Corinthians‬ ‭7‬:‭11‬ ‭

Jesus said, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.” Mark‬ ‭10‬:‭11‬ ‭

“And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” Mark‬ ‭10‬:‭12‬ ‭

I think with marriage counseling and understanding sin and holy living, and bith of you killing your own sins, you can both grow in the faith. Counselors can work wonders. 

http://counselingchristians.blogspot.com/2023/12/nothetic-biblical-counseling.html

More on divorce, abuse and the info above can be found here

http://believersanswers.blogspot.com/2025/03/believers-and-divorce-are-remarried.html

If he is refusing counseling, go to the pastor for intervention counseling, at your home. Have him bring a decon or two if you have concerns of his safety. From there he will start church discipline or your husband will agree to professional counseling and having the counselor looping the pastor in is a must. It helps him to shepherd you both, and bring it to all complete at final resolution (so church discipline can end). Counseling & Church discipline is to help guide and correct you into holy living, so dont be scared of it. It is good to have a community of believers and leaders in the church to help us. 

Further, your husband needs to be a godly leader at home, and doesnt seem to be doing that well, so he additionally needs godly men at church discipline him. 

I highly recommend you also come back after examing the above contents, to do a salvation self examination, and to look more into understanding God, His Holiness, and our sins. It really can help you understand Christianity and faith deeper, better and help you grow in the Faith. It is a good Foundation to build on. Take everything at a regular stress free pace. You're new so it isn't a cram session, it's a discipling situation 😊✨️

Understanding God's Glory & Holiness

https://longertweets.blogspot.com/2023/08/understanding-gods-holiness.html

Understanding Believers & sin 

https://snsanswers.blogspot.com/2022/11/about-sin.html?m=1

This also can help you both towards recovery from infidelity, as you also go through marriage counseling. 

Recovering from infidelity

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUp3S56wWUpRwoBV2CuYHUV_XjLjFE_lA&si=bzo5OVjChDXD5LgD

This will help with Anxiety matters. And your biblical counselor will help with that. So, dump any worldly therapy & therapists. As a Christian you must go to those who counsel with a biblical worldview. 

http://snsanswers.blogspot.com/2022/06/anxiety-depression-suicidal-panic.html

Also while a new believer, this will really help you...there seems to be contention in the submission area as a wife that you need to work on, so you can live in your role as God designed....Wives are to lovingly submit to him & his leadership and home/marriage related. He is to love you as Christ loves the church. We both fail at that at times, we aren't perfect but are called to grow. This area can be a big source of arguments, so use self control, pick your battles, don't try to die on every hill, or even most of them. Don't force "your way", just let it be. When speaking; dont return words, dont grumble, dont retaliate, turn the other cheek. It doesn't matter in the long run of the various temporary earthly things we deal with in a fallen world. Forgive and erase it, move forward in love. Focus on the eternal, living for Christ, representing Christ, and showing the Love of Christ. 

Here are resources for you both to go through to do self examination of your salvation to make sure you are right with God, if not settle this matter today. Cuz without the Holy Spirit you cannot live rightly, reconcile, love and live out the Fruit of the Spirit. And if he's not saved, it's why he's refusing counseling. There are far more false converts in the church than you realize. Not everyone who claims to be saved Is. My hope is he is saved, bit needs to kill his pride and get marriage help so he can be the leader God wants him to be, and the godly man following Christ too. 

As to him and his sins of lusting after women, (and possibly porn), this has resources for him to counsel himself on, contemplate over, pray, repent of and grow in self control. In addition to going to the biblical counselor. He could ask the men discipline him to go through it, the books and videos with him too, to help him with accountability. They're usually called accountability partners. 

The counselor will meet with you both together and seperately. Schedule with a man so he won't feel "ganged up on" if it's a woman. He will find ways to avoid & complain if he's not right with God. So avoid that problem from the start. 

God is on the restoration business, so there is hope, and I pray the rest of your lives together are more blessed than what you are both "putting behind you". And prayed your MIL cang get saved after seeing God work in your lives. 😊✝️✨️🙏

God be with you

Feel free to bookmark this page so you can (actively) go through it, in time. But definitely do contact and schedule a meeting with you, your pastor (and his wife), right away, to get this rolling. It's super important.

PS. As a new believer this will also help you, saving you some pain as you begin this new journey, and help you mature in the Faith. 

And if your husband turns out to be a false convert and you find you are "unequally yoked", dont despair, God is wirh yiu, and there are resources in there above link to help you live godly before him, to help be the light in the home to lead him to Christ for true conversion. 

God bless

Verses to meditate on:

Proverbs 13:20: "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."

Ecclesiastes 7:12: "For wisdom is a defense

Matthew 10:16 "Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves."

Spouse Verses:

Colossians 2:6-8 reminds us: 

"Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude.See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ."

And these 

Titus 2:4-5

4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,

5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

Proverbs 18:22

22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing

And obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 31:10-12

10 An excellent wife, who can find?

For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her,

And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.

Titus 2:4-5

4 ... urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

1 Peter 3:3-4

3 Your adornment must not be merely external... but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

Proverbs 12:4

4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 18:22

22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing

And obtains favor from the Lord.

These verses collectively emphasize the value, trustworthiness, and moral character of a godly wife, highlighting her role in supporting and enriching her husband's life.

1 Corinthians 7:12-14

12 ... if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his believing wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.

1 Peter 3:1-2 

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.