Struggling, giving up on religion

Q: Honestly, I am this close to giving up on everything. Not life, just this whole Jesus journey. He is not listening to me, and I have tried everything. Life is just constant torment and annoyance, I am SO TIRED of being broke and hating myself and the way I look. Joy is not something that comes easy for me, with all my trauma. Not to mention I am so tired of my brain attacking me all the time. If God was so "perfect" why did he make mental illness, and why are we expected to deal with it when our own BRAINS that he CREATED malfunction?

I think I am done with religion.


Its good to get rid of religion. By that I mean a belief people/you've made up. It sounds like either someone decieved you with a false gospel or you misunderstood, or never understood Christianity. 

There is no blessing nor grace in life or eternity without YHWH. 

The world is Fallen thus full of suffering. God uses all things (whichever comes into your life either directed or allowed) to strengthen your walk in the Lord, to help you stay close to Him and get to know Him deeper, plus sanctify your walk to help eliminate the flesh/you so you become more like Christ. He is our example. Whatever God sends your way is meant to bless and for your good in the long run. God is with his adopted children and walks through it all with them. Not only did Jesus say He is with us always, but the indwelling Holy Spirit is too.If the Holy Spirit is in you, he converted you and took up permanent residence in you, he gave you Spiritual life, the Fruit of the Spirit, and is guiding you in life and by the Scriptures he teaches you. If you are not daily reading Scripture, that is part of the problem
 Likewise God gifts us pastors at our local church to shepherd us into truth and to counsel is so we live holy lives, regardless what we encounter. If you aren't seeking his counsel for help, nor God's counsel in Scripture, that's another problem area and why your feeling this way. God helps us persevere for he is the author and finisher of our faith, who leads us and perfect us, which we will see at the end when all is revealed.

God isnt a genie who grants our sinful selfish desires, thats a idol, a made up falsd god. but God does provide the basic needs of ours just as he did to the Hebrews 40 yrs in the wilderness, and as seen across all of Scripture. Plus the Church community can help us as well, we are family, brethren, One in the Lord. But as to the things we are to desire, it is to be what pleases God and accomplishes His Will. That's why we pray for what furthers the Kingdom of God, proclaims Christ, and what glorifies God... not for our selfish desires.

I hope that helped. 

If you are looking for more clarity, these can help too. 

https://www.gotquestions.org/essentials-Christian-faith.html

http://longertweets.blogspot.com/2024/04/studies-on-living-christian-life.html

http://longertweets.blogspot.com/2022/06/suffering.html

https://longertweets.blogspot.com/2022/10/self-examination.html

Peace, grace and joy is found in resting in and trusting God, not just for your salvation, but that He will give you what you need and be with you thru life. 

Speak to your pastor about this further if you have more questions, concerns and for a bit more counsel. 

As to your looks, it's how God made you, or your size appearance likewise the cause of bad food and choices which are correctable. Many are born very deformed, cleft palette, missing arms or legs, or both, are deformed or disabled, either mentally or physically, but God has plans for them all. As he does you. Every human life has value, because God created us and has a purpose and plan for them, and you. 

Some mental illnesses are not physical issues but rooted in sin, so that's another area to explore. This has some examples and helps as well as referrals to a biblical counselor who can likewise help. 



God bless

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