Remarried & freaking out I'm in adultery & dont know what to do
Q: Please help. I am sick. Absolutely sick. My husband and I got married about a month ago. I was so certain that this was what God wanted for us.
Here's what Christianity teaches in this.
Since then I have rededicated my life to Christ. We joined a church. My son even got saved.
...but last night, I was enlightened that as a woman of divorce, God commanded me to remain single or go back to my ex husband. And yes, as ashamed as I am, I was living as an adulterer. But, I have begged forgiveness from God, literally on my knees in tears. I am distraught.
I love my husband and we have been stead fast in making God a strong part of our marriage. We pray nightly together. We do daily devotionals. Church every Sunday. I want to go to Heaven more than anything in the world. Idk what we are supposed to do. My husband and I have a blended family that we love dearly. I’m so scared. Please help.
A: So.... if you are saved, & now have that understanding, though it was adultery, it was dealt with in Christ on the cross paying for all your sins. It was not flippant sin that you began living in adultery, (it isnt like the unsaved living in adultery which Scripture warns that those folk will be hellbound). You were ignorant of it. And no you are not to divorce him and remarry.
Here's what Christianity teaches in this.
1. Salvation and the Cross
All sins of believers are covered by Christ’s atoning work. Your past adultery, like every other sin, has been fully paid for on the cross once you trusts in Christ. [* that means all your past, present, future sins were dealt with 2,000 yrs ago, but applied once you got saved].
Justification is by faith alone, not by works. So, your salvation is secure in Christ, even if your remarriage was technically entered into adulterously.
This is why Paul can say in Romans 8:1, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
2. Ongoing Sin vs. Repentance
Even though your sins are forgiven:
Living knowingly in a state contrary to God’s law is still sin. It’s not “neutralized” in a moral sense—it remains an area for repentance and sanctification.
The difference is that youre saved and called to & are living out holiness, whereas the unsaved living in adultery are under God’s wrath (1 Corinthians 6:9–10).
Biblical Christianity distinguishes between:
1. Justification (your sins paid for, including adultery)
2. Sanctification (ongoing growth, repentance, obedience, striving for holiness)
3. Why Your Case Is Different from the Unbeliever
Heart orientation: You now love Christ, obey Him, and desire to live faithfully.
Knowledge and grace: you knows the biblical standard and are seeking God’s forgiveness and guidance.
Sanctifying context: Your marriage is now a place to glorify God—you arent living in rebellion for pleasure or hardness of heart.
The unsaved, by contrast, are described in Scripture as hardhearted, unrepentant, and resistant to God, which is why their continued sexual sin is linked with eternal judgment - their sins arent forgiven, they have not Christ as Savior.
4. Have peace on this.
Believers pursue holiness and dont use salvation as a free for all to keep sinning. Doing such would show one is not saved. Romans 6:1–2 “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?”
However, we are still in sin stained bodies and mess up. We are saved sinners. Its not until eternity we will be feee of this. Paul’s Lamented Over Sin as a believer in Romans 7:14–25 “For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing… Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
The diff is a believer isnt intentionally sinning. Some lack understanding of certian sins, such as divorce, adultery and remarriage.
So, your situation is not flippant—it is serious. But it is covered by grace in Christ.
You should continue as normal in repentance, faith, and holy living, not out of fear of losing salvation, but out of love for God and desire to glorify Him.
Scripture calls believers to acknowledge sin, repent, and walk in new obedience, even in complex situations.
If you prayed to God in repentance of your ignorance in the sin you committed, you would do right. We are called to repent, be reconciled with God in fellowship, & be restored. Keep short sin accounts going forward, in your day & by prayer to God.
Hope this calms your fears and helps you move onwards, in your Christian walk. Leave the past in the past, go forwards now.
I will caution that if your current husband is professing Christ, but turns out a false convert, you need to live extra godly before him. Be in the Bible daily so you continue to grow into maturity as a believer, so you are shining Christ in your life (thoughts, words actions, mindset) so it draws him to true salvation. Even if he doesn't get saved for 50 years or until after you pass on... be faithful to keep going, showing godly love, living out your Faith, being gracious, forgiving, patient etc. You are the only example he sees (by Christ shining through you). And you need to do all you can, as looooooong as you can to preserve this marriage, so you dont remain single forever if he divorces you. Don't live in fear about thst, trust God. But just use it as a motivation to keep living holy and right, so the likelihood of 2nd divorce minimizes.
Likewise if your son turns out a false convert, love on him and keep shining forth Christ so he can see God in you, see the truth, and get right with God for real.
God bless
Related
Additional Resources
*Bookmark this page so you can return here in coming days and weeks to go through these resources today 🙂✝️✨️
Comments
Post a Comment