CounselingChristians

Q: My boyfriend & I broke up. We were together a year, (I know not long but I thought he was the one). We broke up 2 days ago and I am struggling… this isn’t my first heartbreak but this is my first one in a really long time (as I stayed single for 5 years before getting back into a relationship because I did not want to go through this and well here I am).  I can use prayers and advice to make this easier for me. I cannot stop thinking about him, & want to reach out. But I know that’s not the right thing to do (my flesh is testing me).  Also, I have kids from a previous relationship and they adored him, so not only am I heartbroken, but once they find out, theyll be hurt. How to move on? A: This can help you all move forward. Regarding the break up *Commenter noted it also helped for a friendship break up, so if theyre old enough, show this to them to help them too. It is a break away for them too, as theres now no contact anymore with him, for them too.  As to y...

Bible meditations  The Bible has many passages that directly address sexual temptation, self-control, and holy living, and they can be very encouraging for someone struggling with pornography.  1. Understanding the Struggle • 1 Corinthians 10:13 – “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape.” Encouragement: Temptation is universal, and God provides a way out. • James 1:14–15 – “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is fully grown, brings forth death.” Insight: Recognizing the process of temptation helps someone intervene early. 2. Pursuing Holiness • 1 Thessalonians 4:3–5 – “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to control his own body in hol...

God’s Sovereignty, Evil, and Counseling  1. God’s Rule and Human Sin • God is completely in control over all things (Ephesians 1:11). Nothing happens outside His will. • Yet He is never the author of sin (James 1:13). Evil actions come from human hearts, and those who commit them are fully responsible. • Scripture shows both truths together: Jesus’ crucifixion was according to God’s plan, but those who carried it out were guilty (Acts 2:23). So rape is never “caused” by God, but it does not happen apart from His sovereign purposes. 2. Why God Permits Horrors • God permits evil for reasons often hidden from us, but He promises to bring good out of it (Romans 8:28). • Joseph said to his brothers who sold him: “You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20). • The cross is the clearest example: the worst injustice in history became the means of salvation. • That doesn’t make the evil less evil. But it shows that God is able to weave even horrific sin into His la...

Q: The last sermon at church was on forgiveness, and I need some advice. Can we forgive but then choose to love someone from a distance?  My mother continues to overstep boundaries, speaks ill of me and everyone in her life, and completely disregards my feelings saying I'm being too sensitive.  I’m not sure how to handle it at this point. I have prayed for years for a stronger relationship with her. It’s unfortunate, as she is a professing Christian who goes to church every week. A: If its those outside our family and church, possibly. But even thrn, your better off keeping things open so you can minister. Dont cut folk off as you may be the only light of Christ they see. You don't want to be like a Jonah. And if both are saved, you bless and help each other grow more like Christ, (Proverbs 27:17, Eccl. 4:12). Today far too many MZ Alpha Gen folk take a cowardly approach to conflict instead of going & seeking to resolve things. They hide out and avoid. And that's wrong ...

Q:My husband told me this week that realized he’s not in love with me.  Our marriage hasn’t been perfect but more often than not it’s been beautiful. He’s being incredibly kind. Full of patience for the fact I don’t have anyone but him (my family’s insane.) but he’s “not willing” to try to fix it. He says we’ve been doing that for the entirety of it.  I just need prayers. I need God to reignite our marriage. Life’s been hard but that is the love of my life. He says he’s not interested in anyone else, but also he’s not willing to try with me. Please pray my husband is returned to me pray for a miracle in my marriage. Pray for me to get better so that he can put faith into our marriage. Please just pray as I need all I can get I’m terrified. I’m in absolute adoration of my husband. He brought me to Jesus. He’s my best friend. I just need this to be okay. I know it will be because Gods plan for me is absolute perfection. I love just him so. A: I cant see how he is your best fridn...

Husband wrestling w convictions & sin surrenders, now avoids home & family life, is mean, nitpicky & negative even to our toddlers.  Q:  My husband and I are both believers, and over the last three years we’ve been actively trying to grow in our walk with Christ. Up until about 6–8 months ago, my husband was also pursuing growth, but lately things have shifted. He’s given up a lot and made some big lifestyle changes, but now he’s wrestling with convictions he never thought he’d have to face. He knows we’re called to surrender it all to Christ if He asks, but he doesn’t really want to let go of certain things. Instead of leaning into those convictions, he’s been pulling away from God—and from us. He’s not abusive, but he can be neglectful—of me, the kids, and our home. He often finds reasons to be gone late, which means he usually gets home after the kids are in bed, and sometimes after I am too. When he is home, he’s not present. He seems depressed, and honestly, h...

Q: I need some advice. I’ve prayed over it and I’ve tried to be patient with it. I’ve just got engaged to my amazing, wonderful fiance. We are both Christian’s and read the word on a daily.  Right now I struggle the most with resentment or anger. Not towards him, but one of his family. My future brother in law had an affair with his fiance's best friend. Both have kids. I’m friends with the fiance. He started to bring his mistress around and my future in-laws are pushing me to be close with her. I tried, but can’t find myself to do that. I can’t look at either of them without disgust or anger. I tend to avoid them when they’re in the room. My fiance seems to struggle with it too, especially since the kids are being affected by it. He prefers to keep his distance right now too. I’ve watched my cousins struggle when their parents got involved with affairs so it feels a bit more personal. I’ve prayed to God to give me patience so I can be more kind. I’ve tried but I can’t help but not...