CounselingChristians

Q: I talked with non Christians on how pornography affects the spouse. I was feeling vulnerable but wanted to get my feelings out. The first response was "just leave dummy". So many people of the world just don't understand. I've realized this is why Christians are a safe space for our problems. I don't want to leave. I don't want another person. I want my marriage to be restored and to be able to glorify God with the man I love. I made a covenant and I'm not breaking it because the world thinks leaving is the answer. I will continue to pray and fight for my marriage.  What godly advice can you give on my situation. Thx. A: This response has been genericized a bit while addressing and counseling for the noted Unequally yoked spousal sin issue, since what's said can help everyone.   Firstly, yes! It is right to remain in the marriage covenant. There are very few reasons a believer can divorce a spouse, and only after doing everything possible to save it...

Q: Im dating a IBF man. What concerns are there that I meed to consider, to determine if I shouldnt marry him.  A: I recommend Cautions on IFB Church and its members.  Does his church [and himself] strongly "criticize" or do they "embrace" Gothard’s teachings? If they reject his teachings, that's better. If they embrace it...  run! Thats still nor a simple cut and dry situation though, cuz many IFB churches embrace it, and IFB has concerning cult like issues.  The problems with IFB... well... to understand we have to look at a few things, to help bring counsel, guidance & clarity to the issue, in your sitiation. Please go through and understsnd these things well, and the resources below too.  And after, please pray about it well, seeking God's guidance before you make a decision. A form of love towards someone doesnt mean theyre the right person for you. God may have had them in your life temporarily to lead you back or to Christianity. Not to tie you to...

Q: Suffering for me has made me a worse person, I hate to say. I am more bitter, envious, angry and fragile. Fighting my hardening heart is my number one challenge, especially when my life seems to get worse on almost a daily basis (this has been going on for 30 years!) This feels like punishment, I feel hopeless.  I came to Faith in 1978, & never thought could be the cynical Christian I am today. It is sad. Only the Lord can change my heart, I know He is a miracle worker, and I am open to that, but my suffering is more than I can bear.  A: God has helped you get this far. Keep holding on. Idk if you've sought biblical counseling to help you through these things, but highly recommend it. You can find that personal help here . Along with that, in a self help, growth pursuit, I'd like to point you towards understanding God better, by His attributes and purpose for Mankind, and His will being accomplished. When were focused on Him (and trusting Him & His sovereignty) and...

Q: i need help understanding a hard topic.  Divorce …  i know adultery is one reason.  if one were to get divorce and remarry then it’s a sin…. so every person who’s got a divorce and remarried is going to hell if they weren’t cheated on before?  i know there is only a narrow path to heaven.. is this where Gods grace comes in? i’m just so confused.  i don’t want to stay in a unhealthy marriage if it’s going to kill my soul. but i don’t want to hurt God .   people are to stay in a marriage no matter how horrible?? (not physical abuse or cheating)   if one person is trying to live for God and you or spouse doesn’t have that same drive we just have to deal with it??  A: God uses those situations to conform us to the image of Christ, to be Christlike, and grow in holiness. Its about your sanctification and being a godly witness in the home (which radiates to your extended family & community). Marriage isnt about you. Its about submitt...

Q: Needing advice on how to deal with “backlash” from family and friends about living a biblical marriage. My husband and I are far from perfect, but our basic biblical foundation is that he is the head of the household, and while I have a voice and my voice is heard, my husband gets the last say. My husband would prefer if I didn’t work, but I absolutely have the choice to. I also like to consult my husband before I make decisions or do things to be respectful and because I care about his guiding lead.  My family does not take to this very well. My younger sister and her bf have a very modern, anti-conservative, non-Christian relationship structure and don’t want kids or to be ruled by the “misogyny” of the Bible. She’s made comments that if I don’t have dinner ready by the time my husband gets home he’ll be mad. My father has the mindset that a woman who doesn’t work is worthless and he has told me a few times that my husband will leave me for a female coworker who is more of a h...

Q: How do you deal with doubt/ trying to find a reason for life. Also figuring out the distinction between relationship with God and Christian Nationalism. I’m feeling very lost and like I’m on the wall of losing my faith.  I don’t want to lose my faith, but my prayers feel vain, and reading the Bible just seems like reading any other History book. I don’t know what to do I’m pretty sure God is real, but I don’t understand. For instance, I’ve prayed for almost 3yrs that God would take away the deep feelings I have for my ex because it causes me so much hurt and He never does. Everyday I wake up crippled by the pain of that situation, I feel lost and lonely and yet my cries feel like they’re bouncing off the walls of Heaven.  I’m not looking for any kind of male validation. I simply think that if God is so good and brings peace then I wouldn’t still be struggling so hard with this amongst other things. I feel like nothing in my life goes any good way at all. I pray and nothing ...